Extended Family

.

all: * Don't show up *

* Don't come out *

* Don't start caring about me now *

* walk away *

* You know how *

* Don't stop caring

* About me now *

OK, all right, all right.

Remember, kids, always pull over

quickly so that first responders can respond first.

Their service deserves our gratitude and respect.

- Dad, this cop is pulling you over.

- Oh, come on. Come off it.

* It's true *

* The marriage that we once had now is through *

* And now we're doing all that we can do *

* To keep us all together as a crew *

* Just do as we say, not as we do *

* We really thought that we were done *

* But we've just begun *

- Dad, if the speed limit's 80, I only saw you hit 76.

- Jimmy, when the cop gets here, zip it.

Hello, Officer.

How may I help you?

- Well, you can stop by acting like

we're not at a Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru.

I clocked you at 85.

What's the big hurry?

- Oh, we were attending a Dua Lipa concert.

Uh, Ms. Lipa puts a little giddyap in my go,

if you know what I'm saying.

- No, I don't know what you're saying.

Oh. Wow.

Trey Taylor, the owner of the Celtics.

'Tis I, Officer.

'Tis?

- You know, I gotta say, regardless

of how the Celtics have been playing lately,

you got nothing to be ashamed of.

I appreciate that.

I agree.

I mean, despite valid criticisms

of some recent front office moves,

these talk radio schmucks ought to leave Trey alone and tackle

the despair that the Patriots have lately perpetrated

on our commonwealth. Am I right?

- Don't go dragging Bill Belichick into this.

Oh, no, I was just--

- Bill Belichick has brought immeasurable joy into my life.

- Coach Belichick is a great man.

- A great man. An icon, a giant.

It's why I named my son after him.

Wait, my name's--

Not now, Billy.

- Hey, would you mind autographing

a basketball for me?

- Only if you'll accept it as a gesture

of my gratitude for all you do in service to this fair city.

This guy.

You know, in light of all the things

that your charitable foundation does for the city of Boston,

I'm going to let your fair-weather Pats

fan of a driver here off with a warning.

Oh, no, I'm not his driver.

I'm his fiancée's ex-husband.

Wow.

How magnanimous of you.

To give your fiancée's ex a job?

My ex's fiancé is lucky he's not at the bottom

of the Charles River.

I'll be back in two secs.

Yeah.

- Thank God you're not going to the slammer, Dad.

- Don't thank God. Thank Trey.

He's the one signing the ball to save Dad.

Trey's your Get Out of Jail Free card.

- You're a superhero, Trey. - Super Trey-Man.

- Oh, kids, go on.

- Here you are, Mr. Taylor. - Oh.

There you are.

You know, listen up there, Vin Diesel.

Your lawbreaking reflects poorly upon Mr. Taylor.

So why don't you take a little fast out of that furious,

or next time I'll give you a ticket you'll cry about?

You got me?

- Well, while I appreciate the gesture, Officer,

I'd like the ticket now.

- You want the ticket? - I want the ticket.

- I'm not giving you a ticket. - Please give me the ticket.

- I don't care how nicely you ask me.

I'm not giving you a ticket.

- It's my constitutional right to pay the piper when

the piper requires payment.

- Ask me one more time, I'll take you in for psych eval.

Just slow the hell down.

Oh, Mr. Taylor, thank you.

You know what, here's my card.

If you're ever in a rush, or even if you're not in a rush,

give me a buzz.

I'll spin the siren and clear the way for you.

Go, Celtics!

- Because of Trey, the laws don't apply to us anymore, Dad.

- Yes, they do. - Not when Trey's around.

- Trey, will you take us shoplifting?

- Pick the day, Jimmy. Pick the day.

Trey, Trey!

Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey!

* Say my name *

- Trey. - * Say it again *

.

Yeah!

All right, now, kids, remember, if you

find yourself in my position, be grateful, be humble.

And if not, you best be sure you don't cross Johnny Law.

Am I right, Jim?

- Hey. How was the concert?

- Amazing. - So good.

Breathtaking.

- Mom, when Dua Lipa dances, it makes me wish

I was a piece of her clothing.

- When I was your age, I wanted to be a piece

of Janet Jackson's clothing.

Uh, Jim, did Dua Lipa disappoint you?

- Dua Lipa could never disappoint me.

- Trey, you know what would make

a perfect end to this evening?

Some of your famous ice cream sundaes.

Yes!

- You don't have to tell me twice.

To the kitchen we ride!

Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey!

Say my name! Say my name!

You look sad.

I'm not sad.

You don't look happy.

I'm not happy.

- So tell me what you look like.

Concerned.

Startled.

Some might say shook.

Look, I was gonna sleep on this, Julia,

but I'm afraid we have an issue.

I got pulled over for speeding tonight.

- So you meant you have an issue.

I'm sorry I'm laughing.

It's happening involuntarily.

How much was the ticket?

I got off with a warning.

- Did you cry and tell him that your mom died?

That's what I'd do.

Come on. Now, where's the victory smile?

- My victory smile is in hibernation

because we still have an issue, an issue named Trey.

How is Trey the issue?

Your fiancé got me off.

Out. Trey got me out of the ticket.

That bastard.

It was alarming.

Apparently, the coin of the realm

is no longer character, conduct, and contrition.

It's fame, wealth, and status.

- Let's focus on what's really alarming,

you speeding like a maniac with our children on board.

Oh, 85 is not maniacal.

And I would have paid my fair share of the Boston PD's

revenue-raising shakedown, had officer Jock

Sniffer McFanboy not made a complete mockery

of the rule of law.

I am afraid that our children's proximity to Teflon Trey

is poisoning their minds.

- Trey has worked his whole life to get to where he is.

- Well, I've haven't known him his whole life,

so I don't know if that's true.

But you know who hasn't worked hard?

Our kids. They have done nothing.

Nothing. - Yeah, they're kids.

- Yes, barely out of diapers, and they

expect the world is going to treat them

the same way it treats him.

Roll out the red carpet and sprinkle it with caviar

and solid gold jelly beans.

Trey lives this ridiculous life of platinum rainbows

and limousine lemonade.

We are at a vital crossroads, Julia.

Trey's world is not the world our kids live in.

Hey, guys.

We don't have any whipped cream,

so Trey's having a chef from the Ritz named ASAP

come over and bring us some.

Keep an ear out for the door, would ya?

See?

They need to be taught that no one in the real world

is exempt from life's three unchangeable realities.

Which are?

- Pain, loss, and ceaseless struggle.

- I think your instinct to sleep on this was correct.

Let's revisit this after you get a lobotomy.

Mom, you were right.

Trey makes the best ice cream sundaes.