Awkward.

Previously on Awkward...

A barbecue is the perfect way

- to ease the weirdness. - Go to the damn barbecue!

Your friends might need some time to adjust.

What they need is time with you.

- They're not coming. - You are totally taking sides!

We weren't taking sides, but we are now,

and we are not on yours.

Post de-friending my friends,

my life had become a little... hazy.

I was consumed with anger,

disappointment, and the giggles.

This stuff is called Party Hard-y,

but don't let the name fool you,

because it's surprisingly mellow.

I'll pass. I need a clear head.

For what, your next diatribe

about how much your friends suck?

- Yes! - Come on.

It'll help smooth you out.

Then we can discuss the pointless nothingness of life.

Collin was trying to convince me to make the jump

from my trauma train onto his good time express.

So what was holding me back? Nothing.

It was time for me to exhale the hypocrisy of my friends,

and inhale the wonders of an herbal life.

Hit me.

- - You got it.

While my anxiety had not yet left the car,

I was suddenly ready to wax poetic

on the trivial nature of backstabbing friends.

I was hopefully about to be calm, cool, and...

convicted.

Do you realize how lucky you are

that I went to high school with Officer Mercado?

And that he drove you home instead of the station?

Yes, dad, I know.

Evidently, some high school friends were worth keeping.

Mm, did you say hi to Jerry for me?

Lace, I think keeping it short and sweet

was in everyone's best interests.

Should I go to my room now?

- No! - No!

Now, what did you learn tonight?

I learned to make friends in high places.

- - What's so funny?

She said, "High places."

Mm, oh, chips?

- Yes. -

Jenna, don't be a smartass.

You were just caught with an illegal substance,

which you should not be smoking.

Unless you're at home.

I'm confused.

Are you guys condoning my experimentation?

Absolutely not.

I thought you were smart enough not--

To get caught.

What's going on here?

We're disciplining you.

Without being hypocrites.

'Cause you're both high.

- No. - Yes.

Well listen, you don't have to worry about me.

I never want to be in the back of a cop car again.

It was traumatic.

If I ever decide to do something dumb, I will do it in private.

- No! The-- - Good! It--

- Can I go to my room now? - Yes. - Yes.

But, uh, leave the chips.

And no TV for a month!

- No TV for a month? - Or until I get pregnant.

I've been watching documentaries on how infrared radio waves

emitted from TV screens can interfere with fertility.

So you're watching television about not watching television.

- That's really smart. - I know.

It's so much easier than reading a book.

- You should not have a baby. - Why?

There are a multitude of reasons,

but let's start with the obvious.

You're a train wreck.

Is that any way to talk

to the woman who is raising you while your mom is out of town?

Uncle Dan is paying you!

And for good reason. You're a pain in my ass.

All you do is complain and insult me.

If you don't want my love,

then I'll just keep the lunch I made you.

Nitrates and nicotine?

Cigs are appetite suppressants,

and that meat is pure protein.

Personally, I don't find it all that appetizing,

but then again, I'm not the one with the slow metabolism.

- Slut. - Bitch.

Have a good day, sweetie!

After my close call with the law,

all the problems with Tamara and Ming

seemed like petty misdemeanors.

And even though I wanted an apology,

my bigger need was to share my nightmare with weed...

and find out who the hell was so

up close and personal with Matty.

Is Matty dating someone new?

You don't get to ask who Matty is dating.

But her name is Devon. Are you "Devon-stated"?

No. Matty can do whatever he wants.

But you can't!

What are you doing right now with this "Nonchalant-itude"?

You're not welcome in our walk and talk.

Lookit, I almost got arrested in Collins's car last night,

so just give me a break.

While your park'n'narc sounds really interesting,

and so fitting with your new personality--

- We don't want to hear it. - In fact, we don't want to hear

anything but a big, fat, "I'm sorry."

Because if you think we're gonna forget

your crazy-ass agro-yexting, you're wrong.

Nobody likes a yell text.

I did not yell text.

Then explain this.

"Disloyal."

- Exclamation. - "Unsupportive."

Exclamation.

"Disloyal" again.

- Exclamation. - Oh, and "Traitor,"

spelled "T-R-8-E-R."

'Cause you were angry, and in a hurry.

Okay, so maybe I was yexting, but I was feeling a little--

- Betrayed! - Betrayed! Exclamation.

Did you ever think that maybe our no-show

had nothing to do with Collin,

and maybe we had a good reason for not coming to your barbecue?

And we were going to explain it to you,

but you didn't give us a chance

before your "piss-appointed" tirade began?

Tamara and Jake almost broke up over your dangerous liaison.

Exclamation! Jake was furious

I didn't tell him you were having an affair.

You know why I didn't tell him?

'Cause of girl code,

which clearly means nothing to you.

Well, luckily for you,

girl code doesn't apply to ex-friends.

Great! 'Cause it was exhausting being your friend!

Oh, and you're such a dream?

God, I am so glad I don't have to listen to your endless

and hopeless quest to be popular.

Way to set your goals high, "T."

Don't "T" me. You know what, Jenna?

Take care!

You take care!

So you guys are back on good terms.

Hey, look, why don't we get out of dodge and take the edge off?

- You want to ditch? - Or skip.

It's all just semantics.

I really don't want to push my luck today.

Spread 'em!

Jenna Hamilton, you're under arrest for skipping school.

You have the right to remain silent.

Are you making fun of me?

A little. You know what?

Maybe we should pick this up after school.

Are you afraid of PDA?

No, I just...

I just don't think it's appropriate for me

to frisk you here in public.

Why?

Because I like to do a thorough job.

Collin was attempting to distract me from my drama,

and with that distraction, luckily came some action.

The day could not end soon enough.

It's over.

I don't have any more doctor's visits.

But your neck is crooked.

It's just a little kink. It'll straighten out.

- I think. - Ugh, gross.

Does it look that bad?

Not your neck. Rental properties.

I feel poor.

You are poor.

When does your mom get back from Exhaustion Camp?

Tonight, thank God! I don't know what's worse,

living on a budget, or with a bitch!

I'd say the budget,

'cause you live with yourself every day.

- Hey. - Jacques, I'm sorry.

And I know you're sorry,

and I really don't want to fight anymore.

I should have told you Jenna was a rankskank,

but I was trying to protect girl code.

I just can't take fighting with you and her at the same time,

so please let's not fight.

I didn't realize we were still fighting.

Hey.

Hey. Hello, Devon.

- Hey. - What's going on?

Just trying to get rid of my anger towards Jenna,

but that's not happening.

Is that why she's sitting by herself?

- Don't feel bad for her. - Okay.