The Idol

Tedros: Good morning, angel.

Get up. Let's go shopping.

(eccentric, downbeat music playing)

Tedros: What's wrong, Leia? It's a little bumpy.

You're hittin' the brakes a little too much.

-(Jocelyn laughing) -Fuckin' up the vibe back here.

-What's goin' on? -(Jocelyn, Tedros laughing)

-(fans screaming) -Tedros: Oh, Valentino.

Right there. Stop right here, stop right here!

Hi, how are you?

-(fans screaming) -Leia: Joss?

Jocelyn: Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Hi, how are you?

-Hi. -Welcome in.

-Thank you. -Good to see you. Welcome.

("No Hay Ley" by Kali Uchis playing in store)

-You see that young lady over there? -Yeah.

Got anything in the store as beautiful as she is?

-I think we can find some things. -Great.

Tedros: It's good champagne, what is this?

Assistant: Uh, it's a Valentino exclusive.

-Oh, my God. -Assistant: Wow.

-Oh, my God. -You like it?

It's so fuckin' sexy.

I just wanna fuckin' tear this right off of you.

-(Jocelyn giggles) -That looks amazing. Alright, what else they got?

What else they got? Look at that.

Love that. Oh, my God. Beautiful.

I mean, you can make it a little more skimpier somehow.

Just this with heels? All you need.

Joss, we're gonna try these shoes out.

Jocelyn: I don't like flats. Do you like these?

Tedros: Yeah, they're cute. It's for the house.

There you go. Look at that.

Jocelyn: Are these a seven?

Assistant: Uh, yes. I believe so.

Thank you.

("Every 1's a Winner" by Hot Chocolate playing)

Think they look nice.

But this is great, though. Let me keep this. Great job.

-How about this top here? It will go well with-- -No, it's trash.

What's up with this guy over here? What's his story?

Um, he's great. He's been with us for a while. Yeah.

-Really? Can't be that good. -Yeah.

Assistant: This is a beautiful top here.

I think she'll love this one.

I don't think so.

-Oh my-- -Ah, that's a great look.

-Do you like it? -Tedros: Yeah.

Let me catch you lookin' at her again.

Let me catch you lookin' at her again.

-Uh, I'm not-- -Let me catch you lookin' at her again.

-I'm sorry. I'm not-- -Let me fuckin' catch you lookin' at her again,

I'll fuckin' drag you down Rodeo

by your fuckin' ass, just fuckin' stomp you.

-I'll fuckin' curb-stomp you. -I'm sorry.

I'll fuckin' curb-stomp you.

I'm sorry. I don't-- I'm not sure what

-you were interpreting, but I wasn't doing anything. -Let me see it.

-Let me see it. -Chaim?

Chaim (on phone): Leia, I called you 14 fucking times,

-where are you? -Wait, are you at the house?

Of course, I'm at the fucking house.

You say, "911," I come to the house, Leia.

Yo, I told you. This bitch is fuckin' brain-dead.

Chaim, I'm really scared. This guy, Tedros,

has just, like... taken over the fucking house.

-Gun. Gun. -Oh.

What does that mean, "He's taken over the house," Leia?

Leia (on phone): Uh, well, this morning I'm, I'm sitting in the kitchen

and I'm talking to Andrés.

He just walks in, and he fires him.

Look, Leia, I don't give a fuck about any of this.

Where is Jocelyn right now?

Well... we're, we're shopping.

You're fucking shop-- They're shopping.

-This is some bullshit, man! -What's the matter with you?

Destiny: I don't got time for this shit, man.

I mean, are you, are you fucking kidding?

-Destiny: It's hot as hell out here. -You're shopping?

Yo, I told you. This bitch is brain-dead.

Like really, you have to see it.

He's taken control of the house, like, mentally.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm workin' with Jocelyn. Money's not an issue.

Yeah, I need him here today.

-So, when Mike Dean gets here, that's, uh, Kanye's producer... -Mm-hmm. Yeah.

where should he, uh, set up?

-I will talk to Jocelyn about it. -Tedros: Mm.

I know it might be hard for you to,

to digest this right now, but I'm running the show.

Okay, um... sure,

but I still have to talk to Jocelyn.

Leia...

are you fuckin' retarded?

What did I just say?

I'm running the show now.

Cat-walk, cat-walk. Buy it.

-We're getting this one. -Jocelyn: Should I try this?

Love that.

-Love that. -Assistant: It's a good look.

-Maybe she does this one next? -No. No, nope.

-Nope. Nope. -Sure?

Fuckin' bitch.

Leia: Chaim, you don't understand, he, he's forcing us to shop.

No, but... he's brainwashed her. Okay? He has her brainwashed.

-How're the probiotics working? -So good. Look.

-Oh, my God. -So much better.

-Ugh! You look amazing. -(Jocelyn chuckles)

-Jocelyn: So much better, right? -Andrés: Wow.

Your body's just... so tight.

-You look amazing. -Andrés!

Do you mind not groping my girl?

Tedros, you don't understand.

-He's a-- -Boundaries.

-My family are doctors. -Tedros: Are you a doctor?

No, I'm not, but my, my sister and my father,

they're both gastrointestinal doctors, so.

My friend's a gynecologist.

You don't see me stickin' my finger in everybody, do you?

Baby... baby. It's okay.

There's nothing okay about what this creep just fuckin' did.

Right?

Tedros: Get the fuck outta here.

I'm sorry, but I only take orders from my boss.

Who? Her? Right there?

Andrés, I'm really sorry, I just don't...

I don't know if this is the right fit anymore.

It's been a real pleasure working with you.

I just--

I wish you, like, all the best.

That translates to "get the fuck outta here," Andrés.

Leia: Like, I'm serious.

I'm driving down the road,

he's eating her out in the back of the car,

like, I don't know what to do.

And then he's, like, making eye contact with me.

-And I'm pretty sure that he called the paparazzi himself. -(phone beeping)

-And like... -Eh, hold on.

-(Leia continues indistinctly) -Hold on a second, Leia.

Fink, what can I do for you?

Finkelstein (on phone): Chaim, are you trying to kill me?

Not today.

-No, why? -Do you want my children to grow up without a father?

-Is that what this is? -Fink, why, why would I wish that on anybody?

Well, then let's cancel the tour.

Fink, why are you saying this?

The tour's gonna make millions of dollars. What happened?

Millions of doll-- Right now, she's making me have IBS.

I'm fuckin' shitting more blood than a kid at Epstein's island.

-Has she ever let you down? -Finkelstein: Ha-ha! Yeah.

About 6.7 million times.

-Remember that? -Okay. Except for that one unique circumstance.

Why do you like picking out clothes so much?

Mm, just need some taste, that's it.

I have taste.

-Eh... -Really?

I know like when I was younger but like now,

you don't think I have taste?

Eh, not really, no.

-Oh. -Last couple of days, you had a lot of taste.

Mm. You know what I think it is?

-What? -I think you're gay.

-I ain't gay. -(Jocelyn chuckles)

Even the way you said that sounded really gay.

Oh. Talk shit, huh? Talk shit, huh? Talk shit?

-(heavy breathing) -Talk shit? Talk shit? Hm?

Talk shit? Come here.

Finkelstein (on phone): Nikki just called me and told me that

she's throwing away "World Class Sinner."

The only fucking song

that's actually selling the fucking tickets.

-She's fuckin' throwing it away? -Hold on, hold on one second.

-Is that true? -Hold on.

Turn up the car radio very loud.

-Really loud. -Okay, okay.

-Okay, I got it. -(music blasting)

Fink, I'm sorry, it's hard to hear.

-We're at the studio. -Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You're with-- Are y-- You're with Jocelyn right now?

She just played me two new songs,