Carol's Second Act

I didn't even know you could fit a pine cone in there.

Oh, you can fit it in,

but only a medical professional can get it out.

Dr. Frost, Dr. Jacobs. Any news about Eddie?

Nothing yet, but you can rest assured,

with Dr. Lewis as his surgeon,

- he's in great hands. - Meh.

I just mean, does any surgeon truly deserve

to be called great?

Cut, cut, snip, snip, a little light sewing.

The whole profession's basic arts and crafts.

- Yes, sir. But if we... - But when a magazine

makes a list of California's sexiest doctors,

you better believe it's surgeons as far as the eye can see.

I never should have shown him that article.

Hey, Mom. Any news?

Nothing yet. And the wait is driving me crazy.

Hey, everyone. Hello, Jenny.

Nice seeing you for the first time today.

Hmm. You look well.

Ugh, enough. We all know you're hooking up.

- It's obvious. - Yeah, you both leave at the same time

and you show back up at the same time.

Even I can tell.

The little looks between you,

the walks to the parking garage, the texts on Jenny's phone.

Mom.

Well, you shouldn't just leave it in your purse.

Okay, great. You got us.

This is happening.

Okay, so what's happening?

It's casual? It's very casual? I's almost over?

We're not labeling it, Mom.

We're exploring, we're discovering.

Ugh, I'm sorry I asked. That's plenty.

Everyone.

I'm just realizing that Dr. Kenney probably expects me

to deliver this news with balloons or confetti,

but the transplant was a success.

Oh! Thank goodness!

- Oh, my God. You are a miracle worker. - Oh.

An absolute miracle worker. You just saved a man's life.

Can you believe that? I bet you're jazzed.

Are you jazzed?

I suppose I'm a little jazzed.

Well, you should be. This man deserves a pat on the back.

- He is a hero. - No, no, no. It's thanks to you

that he made it to surgery at all.

Dr. Lewis.

I mean, well, that's a very kind thing of you to say.

I'm embarrassed. I don't even... I mean,

- wow. - I'm going back upstairs.

Yes.

Well, don't be a stranger.

You're welcome back here any time.

I mean, of course you are. You work here.

Okay, bye.

Wow.

You are deeply in love with that man.

Oh, come on, stop it. Honestly.

I'm just excited that Eddie is okay.

Mm-hmm. Is Eddie the reason why you wore

your favorite earrings today?

I definitely noticed those thirsty little hoops.

Guys, lay off. There are already enough barriers

to love without the fear of getting teased.

Carol? I hope you find what we have.

I liked this better when it was a secret.

Knock, knock.

Eddie, oh, my gosh.

You look great.

Oh, I feel great, too.

I'm thinking of replacing more of my organs.

Maybe start with a kidney, upgrade the ticker,

then if all goes well, I'll do my breasts.

Oh... I don't want you to leave.

Carol, you hold him down, I'll break his legs.

Aww.

I'm gonna miss you guys, too.

Hey, can I ask you guys something?

It's a little sentimental.

Sentimental? You have my attention.

The whole time I've been cooped up in here,

I've been dreaming of fresh air.

So, when I'm cleared to leave, the first thing I want to do

is go up to the roof and raise a toast.

A little thank you from me to my doctors.

Don't worry, little guy, it's nonalcoholic.

Oh, Eddie.

You want to toast us on the roof?

I'm gonna tell you right now, I will be sobbing.

Frankly, I'm surprised I'm not already sobbing.

Wait, here it comes.

Think about Daniel and Jenny hooking up.

Okay. I'm back.

Oh, Eddie, that would be lovely. As long as we can avoid

the pigeons and the trauma helicopters.

Trauma helicopters, filthy birds, nonalcoholic booze.

What can I say? I know how to party.

Now tell me, how are things going with your surgeon?

What?

He's been in the hospital for three months.

Gossip's all he has.

Okay.

It might be true that I have

an itty-bitty, teensy-weensy, not even a big deal crush

on Dr. Lewis.

- Ooh... - But I... Okay.

I don't know how he feels.

And he certainly hasn't expressed any interest.

Well, dating at work is tough these days.

As a guy, you don't want to do anything disrespectful,

so sometimes you have to wait for the woman

to make the first move.

Really? I have to flirt with him?

Oh, my gosh. I don't know if I even remember how.

Carol, how long has it been since you flirted with a guy?

On purpose? 30 years.

Unintentionally? A week.

Caleb had a little piece of lint on his cheek.

I leaned in to blow it off and I accidentally kissed him.

Take it from a guy who stared death in the face:

you got to take your shots.

You'll be great. Just tell him

it looks like he's been working out.

Guys love that stuff.

If he flirts back, you know he likes you.

Oh, well, I just might.

But right now, you get some rest.

I'm gonna order you some pain killers.

And a pair of D cups.

Let's go C. I want it to look natural.

So, the ER sent you up for a possible concussion,

but I don't see any bruises or swelling.

Huh, that's weird, because I definitely got kicked

in the head by three different horses.

Before we order an MRI, would you say you're nauseous?

No, in fact, I'm pretty hungry.

Hmm. Are you dizzy?

No. Everything's fine, except for this awful concussion.

Well, you don't have the two main symptoms of a concussion,

so we can rule that out.

Oh, man, really?

Can you ask me those questions again?

All right, Greg. What's going on?

The truth is, I'm having the worst week of my life.

- My girlfriend broke up with me. - Oof.

- While I was proposing. - Oof.

Because she's in love with my best friend.

And while I was in my apartment,

sobbing, my car got stolen.

I was so depressed, I didn't go to work for three days.

I work at this furniture store, Danny's...

Oh, that's where I got my dining room chair.

You bought one dining room chair?

Uh-huh.

Anyway, my boss was about to fire me,

but I told him I was sick.

He said to keep my job, I need a doctor's note.

Oh, I don't know.

Writing a fake doctor's

I don't want to get you guys in trouble. It's just,

if I lose this job, I lose my insurance.

And that's literally the only thing I have left.

I-I really would like to help you.

You seem so pathetic.

Thank you.

Hey, you said you were feeling depressed, right?

- Totally. - Oh. Great.

Then we can give you a note saying you visited the doctor

for a legitimate medical concern.

- Really? - Yeah.

Oh, man. You two are the best.

This will just take a minute.

Ah... There he is.

Carol, are you ready to get your flirt on?

I don't know, I just finished my salad,

and I think you're supposed to wait 30 minutes after eating?

Carol, come on. Trust me, I know from experience.

It'll all be worth it when you and that special person

get to finally connect both emotionally and physically...

- No. - Dude, that is her daughter.

Gross.

Okay, listen, I can do this.

I just have to go over there and be friendly.

No, no, no, no. Regular Carol is friendly.

He needs to know that you want a piece of that.

So, when in doubt, I say lick your lips.

Okay, definitely don't do that.

I like Eddie's advice. Just compliment his body.

That should be easy. He has great wrists.

Carol, do not listen to these amateurs, all right?

Just mention a restaurant you want to try,

and if he takes the bait,

- it means he likes you. - Right.

Like, "Hey, are you a fan of the... Spaghetti Factory?"

You've all been a huge help.

Okay.

- Hi. - Oh.

Sorry, that-that came out louder than I intended.