Kabul Express

So dude, are you enjoying being a war reporter?

Balls, I'm enjoying this.

If only we'd listened to our parents

we could've become a doctor or an engineer

but no we had to go and become reporters.

Why did you have to tell the boss

that we would get an interview with the Taliban or die trying.

Now you'll die, definitely.

How was I to know that our lives will really be at risk.

How would I know.

These guys carry guns like we carry mobile phones.

One of them even had a rocket launcher, did you see?

Not even three days since we got into this Afghanistan

and here we are stuck in this mess.

Who are you guys?

Where are you from?

-India. Hindustan. -Oh, Hindustan.

Amitabh Bachchan.

Amitabh Bachchan, yes!

Aamir Khan, Shahrukh Khan.

Aamir Khan, Shahrukh Khan. Correct.

Dharmendra, Jeetendra.

Yes. Dharmendra, Jeetendra. Does this guy only like men?

Yeah, that's what I've heard about them.

-Kabul? -Kabul?

Doesn't this place have taxis?

Looks like a five-star.

You're going to get me killed one of these days.

Why did you have to promise the boss--

Stop repeating yourself!

Why not? Why not?

You be the hero if you must. Why are you after my life?

And this bloody Khyber, he's the one who got us stuck in this mess.

What did I do?

What did I do?

The first day you met us you said you would take us to the Taliban.

You guys went on and on about wanting to meet the Taliban.

Now meet them.

At it, again?

Come on. Want to exercise?

Come, let's go. I've contacted some Mujahidin,

who have held some Pakistani Taliban.

They've hidden these guys in the mountains. Come on.

Will they let us interview them?

Of course! That's why they've been kept alive...

...for interviews, in exchange of money.

If caught alive, a Talib is priceless these days.

How much will they charge?

I was told 200 dollars.

That's a bit too much, man.

But we do need the interview.

OK, what else will they do for 200 dollars?

I guess they might dance for you on the mountain tops.

Let's go, quick.

Do you think these guys will come?

They should be here anytime.

But they have to be cautious.

This stuff is risky.

No one should know they've got some Taliban prisoners.

Are these the guys?

Doctor, I can't see a thing!

Doctor, I can't see a thing!

Khyber, ask them how much further?

-What? -Ask them how far is this place?

No, they'll get angry.

Ask them. Why are you so scared? They won't shoot you for asking.

Mujahid brother, how far is it?

What happened?

Looks like the Taliban prisoners have run.

Our Taliban?

-You mean the ones we paid for? -Yes.

Will they refund our money?

I'll ask...

Will they even come back?

Shit, this is real bad luck.

What the hell.

Talib.

There go 200 dollars.

The camera will break, are you mad?

You asked them for a refund! Do you want us killed?

Why shouldn't I?

And you, why didn't you take a shot?

At least we would have proof that we saw Taliban.

You need to be alive to show the proof. And you?

Why didn't you interview him? You should have asked him.

Why and where are you running away, Mr. Taliban?

Who would you like to shoot first?

Me or my mad friend who is shooting you?

What the hell is that?

The opening shot of our story... Buzkashi.

Buzkashi is being played first time in Kabul after eight years.

The Taliban had banned this sport.

Why?

They said it's too violent.

Those Taliban guys were a riot.

Come. Let's get into the field and shoot.

Be careful.

People also get killed in this.

What madness is this?

You get killed when you go to pee, you get killed when you go to play?

What the hell can you do here?

Suhel, look out for the horses.

Through the camera I can't judge their distance and direction from me.

Come on, let's go over there and shoot.

-You want me killed! -Come on, let's go!

Suhel, that pack of horses is headed this way

What the hell!

You want to kill me?

I told you guys to be careful, people die.

I saw that Talib in the crowd.

You are so shit scared that you are beginning to hallucinate!

You couldn't see the whole army of horses

but you saw that bloody Talib?

Jai, believe me. I saw that man.

Screw it. Those horses could have killed me.

I'm leaving this job. I don't want to do it.

-Are these Indian cigarettes? -Yes.

Can I have one please?

-Thank you. -Thank you.

Hey you Santa Clause,

taken my cigarettes for free, now send me the kebabs.

Is everyone like this?

Why are you such a scrooge? It's just a cigarette.

You know the problem, I have only one carton of cigarettes.

Any other brand hurts my throat.

Do I look like a cigarette wending machine to him?

Khyber, why do only women beg on the streets?

What else can they do?

They don't have an option.

Almost half the women are widows.

The Taliban stopped all women from working.

They were not allowed to leave home unless escorted by a male relative.

If a woman was spotted alone on the street,

they would beat her like an animal.

Bastard's ass-hole.

That's why I hate them so much.

Some of them are still hiding around.

If we catch them, we will beat them to death. Scoundrels!

Can we please do an interview before you kill them? Thank you.

General Musharraf has dubbed the recent public uprisings

as a conspiracy by radical groups.

He said that most Pakistani political groups are unhappy

with his decision to help American in the war against terrorism.

These groups have joined the Afghan refuge

to protest against the government but their efforts have been unsuccessful.

See how quickly the Pakistani politicians have dumped the Taliban.

They created the Taliban

and now they say they will help the American in destroying the Taliban.

Bloody liars, they are killing their own people.

In Afghanistan's Kunduz area

more than 50 Taliban have been killed by the Northern Alliance Mujahidin.

In capital city Islamabad, President Musharraf is unhappy

PAKISTAN ARMY POST ON THE AFGHAN BORDER

about institutions like mosques and madrassas

being used for anti-religious activities.

In the battle that's been going on for three days

near Mazar-e-Sharif in Afghanistan,

more than 200 Taliban have been killed.

Hear that?

God alone knows how many amongst them were our men.

And the guys sitting in Islamabad are telling the world

that none of our men are in Afghanistan.

And there, across the border

the Afghans are hunting them down like wild animals.

And our government is doing nothing to protect them.

The American dollar is worth much more than fellow countrymen.

You have only four months of service left.

Why bother yourself over politics?

We can do nothing about it.

Look. The bloody American Special Forces have brought another truckload.

The bastards herd them like cattle.

God knows how many of our men are in these Taliban.

Is he asking us to fire?

Careful! Make sure you don't get him.

Khyber, I completely agree with you.

The Taliban did some really horrible thing...

...but not respecting women is the worst.

How can you not respect women? Oh boy! What a hot babe.

She's coming this way.

What a smile.

Please give her something to eat or she won't stop talking.

Bring kebab and naan.

Man, can't we take her along?

You are always virile, you see a white woman

and get all excited.

A flower blooms in the desert and you ask what color it is?

We are seeing a woman after such a long time.

All the local stuff has been packed up in Burkha by the bloody Taliban.

-Jerk. -What does 'Virile' mean?

One whose brain is not in his head but down below.

Why are you looking at me?

Why did you have to reveal all our plans to her?

Why does it matter? Are we taking an exam here?

Yes, It is an exam.

If we don't take back an exclusive story from here,

you'll spend your life shooting boring press conferences of fat politicians.

Jai, in life you get just one shot at war reporting.

-Go away from here. -One second.

Keep driving.

Take the car towards the Pakistan border.