ALF

The game of skleenball is very simple, Brian.

You just sling your anchovies

into your opponent's laundry basket.

Aw, missed!

Do we get to eat the anchovies after the game?

No! Does Marvin Haggler eat his trunks after a fight?

Okay, who dumped my clean laundry out on the floor?

Brian.

Well, ALF told me to.

I did it so we could play skleenball.

It's not nice to rat on your friends.

What's skleenball?

A picture's worth a thousand words.

That picture was worth a $1000.

Well, maybe the frame makes it look cheap.

I am tired of your breaking things.

If this happens one more time

you will be living in the garage.

From now on, I'll treat this house as if it were my own.

Treat it as if it were my house

and don't break anything!

Cheap frame!

Well, I guess it can be repaired.

'Heads up!'

Oops.

Willie, I said I was sorry.

How many times do I have to say it?

It's gotten to a point where saying you're sorry

is not enough.

What if I write it down?

- You don't get it, do you? - Get what?

This whole idea of living together.

You see, we make rules and we follow them

to keep our lives from becoming chaos.

Now, if anybody breaks those rules

you or-or me, or anybody

then life becomes impossible.

You're right. I don't get it.

Let me put it this way.

You're staying in the garage until we say you can get out.

That I get.

Let me ask you something.

Did you act this way in your parent's house?

No. I lived in their garage.

Oh, sure! Draw parallels.

Just think about what I've said, okay?

And we'll discuss it later.

Willie, please. You can't leave me out here.

There are none of the comforts of home.

Well, alright.

You can bring something out from the house.

Can it be something that answers to "Hey, Lucky?"

Just a thought.

Wait, wait, wait, I want to ask you something. It's important.

What?

Uhh..

Uh..

Goodbye, ALF.

Oh, no, wait! Now I know what I was gonna ask you.

Instead of me wasting time learning how to behave

could I just suck up to Kate?

Well, Kate and I agreed about sending you out here.

So, if anything, you're going to have to suck up to both of us.

Well, thanks. I'll remember that. Handsome.

Willie!

Willie!

Our, our furniture!

We've been robbed!

Wishful thinking.

Oh, hi.

Oh, a housewarming gift. How nice.

Who told you you could bring this furniture out here?

Willie.

I did not!

You said I could bring something from the house.

I said you could bring something. Not everything!

Now, in all fairness, you did not make that point clear.

He did bring everything.

I didn't take that hideous Statue of Liberty clock.

That clock was a gift from my mother.

Did I say hideous?

I meant lovely. As lovely as your mother.

That must be the microwave. Brisket anyone?

Forget the brisket!

ALF, I want you to take everything back

into the house tonight.

And I emphasize the word everything!

And I emphasize the word tonight!

And if you don't, you will be living out here permanently.

I noticed you emphasize the word permanently.

Wait, don't go! Please.

Can we sit down and talk this out?

Just give me one minute.

Alright. Fine. Yes.

You have one minute.

Thank you.

Hey, Willie, don't sit there. That's my chair.

That was my chair in the house.

Well, we're not in the house!

Forty seconds.

Well, that's not fair. Willie talked, too!

Penalize him!

Thirty-five.

What are you, Mission control?

- Thirty. - Thirty seconds?

I just had a minute half a minute ago!

Forget the minute. Just say what you have to say!

Uh.

Uh..

Uh..

- Goodnight, ALF. - Goodnight, ALF.

No! No. I need human companionship.

I don't know how I ever got along without it

but now I'm hooked.

I'm a people junkie.

Please. Don't go.

Oh, you go ahead, Kate.

I'll sit out here with him for a while.

Willie, what are you doing?

It seems like he really misses us.

I do, I do, I do.

Willie, he's got our furniture and our brisket

now he's after us.

Oh, you're right. Of course, you're right.

You're stayin' in the garage.

Without us, and without our brisket.

Goodnight, ALF.

Kate, wait, please! Give me another chance.

I know I could change.

Just let me move back inside for one week

and I'll prove it to you. I'll be on my best behavior.

What if, during this week, you don't change?

Then, Willie and I will move out here for good.

Alright. You've got a deal.

Kate, I don't want to move out here.

I didn't mean that was part of..

The deal is you stay in the house for one week

but if you mess up, you're history.

Hey, no problem!

The week hasn't started yet, right?

Well, the furniture is back.

Oh, and he's fixed the painting.

And everything seems so much cleaner than usual.

Uh, no offense.

Good morning, sir.

Madam, your eggs Benedict is served.

Oh, no! He's using the stove again.

He's wearing my shirt.

My, that was fast.

You two must be famished.

ALF, what is going on?

Going on, ma'am?

Kate, this food looks great.

Thank you, sir.

I believe a meal should be pleasing to the eye

as well as to the palette.

ALF, um, just so that I know

is the entire week going to be filled

with a lot of "sirs" and "ma'ams" and haute cuisine?

Well, ma'am, per our deal, I wanted to show you

how much it would please me to please you.

Well, thank you. That's very nice.

You know, I appreciate that.

I must admit the eggs do look delicious

and the house is very clean.

It's amazingly clean.

It's not that clean.

I do hope you folks will have a chance

to check under the tables.

I've scraped off all the gum.

There was gum under the tables?

Well, gum and other crusty substances

deposited there by someone who will henceforth be known as

"The old ALF."

May he rest in peace.

Mmm. What smells so good?

ALF, you look great.

Did we have a cleaning crew come in or something?

The house looks fantastic.

Oh, for crying out loud!

ALF cleaned the whole house

and he made us this wonderful breakfast.

Hmm. Tastes good.

Better than that stinky stuff mom usually makes, huh, Brian?

Uh-huh.

Wait a minute. I didn't think ALF was allowed in the house.

That was yesterday. Today he's our butler.

If you don't mind, madam, I prefer the word "manservant."

Helps keep me in my place.

Hey, anybody home?

ALF. It's Trevor. You better..

The new ALF moves fast!

Uh, come on in, Trevor.

Hi.

Hey, Tanner, who painted your fence?

- It looks great! - Oh, I don't know what..

I don't what you're talking abo..

- Oh, wow! That does look great. - Yeah. So who painted it?

Uh..

Happy birthday, dad.