Lost Cat Corona

Ah, fuck me.

Ow! Fuck you! I said, what did I say?

You knocked them!

Tell me what I said. I'll slap you upside your head,

I told you I'm talking, didn't I?

What did I say, huh? Ow! Let go, Dan!

Fuck.

Hey! Now, listen to me.

Hey! Mind your fucking business, all right.

Don't make me call the cops, huh?

So, maybe I just beat your ass too then, huh?

Oh, he said, "let her go."

Jerk off, what are you deaf?

Let her go. Fuck you, too.

What? Are you fucking kidding me?

Son of a... I don't need help.

Fuck, I can take care of myself. Damn right.

You fucking weird, with your fat face and whatever.

Nice mouth. Real nice mouth.

Fuck you! Fuck your mother!

You believe that shit?

Both need help. Yeah.

Have a good one.

Thanks.

Dominic? Yeah.

I'm sick. What?

I'm sick! What?

Leonard didn't come home last night.

You gotta go out and find him.

Don't give me any grief today. You're the one who let him out.

He was whining and carrying-on. He wanted to go out.

So you let him? In the middle of the night?

Coyotes and all...

I'd like to kick you in the balls right now. May I?

Oh wait, I have to find them first.

Ah, here we go.

Can you stand up to a cat for Christ sake?

I got sal's dad wake today.

I'm just saying.

Why is everything an argument with you?

My mother is going into surgery today, remember?

And since when are you and sal such good friends anymore?

Just find Leonard first, all right?

And pick up some toilet paper. I just finished the last roll.

Hey, Leonard...

All right, I'll call you and let you know how my mother's doing.

All right. Oh, shit.

When you pick up toilet paper stop by the cleaners, i forgot my black sweater.

Toilet paper, sweater, got it. Please...

Just find Leonard. Find him.

I'll find him.

Leonard!

Fucking cat.

Ah, fuck you.

Nothing?

That cat's got it in for you.

He's probably hiding somewhere laughing his ass off.

Ah, cats, Connie, people...

I take one day off of work and this is the shit i gotta deal with.

I told you about the guy slapping the shit out of his girlfriend this morning.

And her, she's fucked up. You're lucky he didn't have a gun.

You know, see, that's really fucked up. What's fucked up now?

That fact that the silver lining is he didn't have a gun.

I mean, this entire city is insane.

So move. Yeah, move. Where am i gonna move? This is my home.

I don't know. Some place nice.

What's nice?

That phony, "have a nice day" bullshit.

I mean, why can't people just be normal?

I just want to get through my life unscathed, that's it.

Leave me alone. Well, good luck with that.

Yeah.

So, we're gonna go look for this cat or what?

Yeah, i got to look for this cat, i don't find this cat,

I'm moving in with you, so how's that?

Who the hell is this?

Hi. Hi, dom.

Hi! Betty. I live across the street.

He didn't come home yet?

No, not yet.

Connie called me early this morning, frantic.

Si. You remember when my Bruno went missing?

But I did these flyers... Look.

And I got so many calls. Lots!

I think it's brilliant, you know. I can do one for you.

Maybe it'd help.

It's helping already, I think.

Thanks, bet, i really appreciate it.

I'm gonna see how i make out myself first, okay.

Take the flyer, man.

Is this your number? Yeah.

You see, you better find him.

You got it. I'll let you know how it make out.

Bye. Bye-bye.

Bye.

You know, Tommy the suit bought a big ass SUV.

Yeah.

And I told him, you know, "gas don't grow on trees," you know.

That's true.

She's worried about coyotes?

What about the q-58 express bus?

Leonard!

Leonard!

No doubt, liberace was gay way before his time. Way before.

Oh.

Well, this was fun.

Time to expand the search.

We'll pack a suitcase?

Hey!

Are you for real? I thought you were so sick.

Oh, I forgot to tell you. I joined the mathletes.

I got a tournament. Oh, you're hilarious.

Stop your lying.

Rolling in at 01:00 A.M. you can't just come and go as you please.

Hey, you know what? I'm done with you.

Let your father deal with this shit.

He's not my father. Come on.

You better be back here before he gets home!

Don't say I didn't warn you!

So what's the game plan?

You'll see.

Where did you get this map? From the year of the flood?

You asked for a from map of corona.

It's a historical map. What?

What is this? A historical jacket? It's a wake, remember?

Now what do we need this for? I know where the hell I am.

One word... Connie.

You mark where you look.

If you don't find him, you have proof that you looked.

Is it okay? Yes fine, I have like fifty of them.

What is it with you and maps?

You know, ponce...

Can I just like, not to looking, and still mark up the map.

Let's do that then. Yeah, right. That's good for you.

Back to my plan then? Yeah, go ahead.

So, we're pretty much bordered by hazardous roads.

So, we start here in Roosevelt...

Down to 1/11...

Long island expressway...

Here, here, mm?

I could have found the cat by now.

It's been eight years, huh? Yep.

You looked like a maniac sitting in with the vet with a python wrapped around your neck.

Connie freaked. You see that?

You guys have just rescued Leonard.

You and I meet. And here I am, helping you to find him.

- It was all meant to be. - Yeah, meant to be.

What was the name of the snake again? Snake.

Listen, I appreciate the company, bud. I do.

No problem. I got time.

Besides, what if somebody tries to take your lunch money?

It's Connie's bike. Mine's busted, all right.

You looked in a mirror lately? All right, where to?

You're the one with the map.

Let's go.

No cat. But he says, I'm a dead ringer of his deceased cousin.

Before dead or after?

I don't know. Let's go check the lot around the corner, huh?

Yo! Yo, Leonard! Where you been?

Don't look at me for inspiration, I'd bag this whole thing for a cold beer.

I come from a long line of non-motivators.

You?

Your father was the heavyweight champ.

"Stop being so low in your life. You gonna keep this in the god damn urinal completely!"

He used to say to me. I can't tell you how many times.

I wondered why your shoes always looked wet.

Leonard!

Fucking cat.

What?

What!

Check this shit out. Hey, good eyes.

What the fuck is that! What?

Oh, shit!

It's a fucking ear!

This ain't a gag, is it? No, that's someone's sliced of a fucking ear!

Van gogh live around here?

Should we call the cops? No, I'm not getting involved with that shit.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?

Don't throw that in there. We've got our fingerprints all over the bag now.

You said you didn't want to get involved.

I did.

Just give it to me. I'll, I'll give it to sal.

We'll take care of it. Yeah.

Hey, you want to split this?

What? Money.

No.

I was born way too late.

Give me the old west, with saloon towns, and

horse turds steaming in the streets, and

shootouts at sundown,

I live every day to die, partner.

So today, it's me or you?

Yeah, tweasel said to look out for you.

Yeah, tweasel is a fucktard.

And, let's be clear on, man.

I'm hearing.

Tweasel organizes a whole little party.

We just here to facilitate.

You get my brother's truck back here.

And we'll take it from there, clean, no wrinkles.