Wilfred

Whoa. This just in.

Well, it probably hasn't been seen by that many people.

1.4 million views!

It's posted everywhere!

As your lawyer,

maybe I could send a cease.

FazioMcBonerz99?

Oh, God, it's humiliating.

Ryan?

Oh. Uh...

Amanda!

Wh-What are you doing here?

Sunday morning workout.

Hi, I'm Amanda.

Oh, I'm sorry.

This is my neighbor, Jenna.

She's Wilfred's owner.

It's so nice to finally meet you.

Yeah, you too.

Well, I gotta run, so... see you later.

Well, she seems...

She is, she... she totally is

I mean, she wasn't just then.

But she-she usually is. Come on, treasure,

I know you're under there somewhere, you dick.

It's Drew.

Hey, sweetie...

What?

They just played "Squishy Tits" on Howard Stern.

Why are you telling me this like you're excited?

What are you doing?

Sniffing up all the valuables

these idiot beachgoers leave behind.

Oh, shit!

You're not gonna believe this.

I had my arm around Jenna and of course,

right at that moment, Amanda shows up.

So?

So, that's not how I wanted them to meet.

The next step in my relationship with Amanda

is her hanging out with my friends.

I need to make sure th get along.

Ryan, have I ever

told you the story about Rex and Lady?

Their owners moved in together

and tried to force them to be friends.

But Rex was a free-spirited swashbuckler, a dreamer,

a Renaissance dog, really.

Lady, on the other hand, was a dyke.

So one day, their owners made them

play in the yard together.

Well, Rex ended up killing Lady

and hiding her body under the porch.

And every now and then,

Rex would go out and look at the corpse

and I would find myself...

and Rex would find himself getting aroused.

My point is, you can't control relationships.

You have to let things happen naturally.

"Naturally" is what just happened on the beach.

Oh, my God, is that a...

Piece of shit diamond broach.

Anyway, I wish they'd met

under better circumstances.

Like a dinner party.

Oh, I love dinner parties!

They totally bring out the Pomeranian in me.

Wilfred, you're not exactly dinner party guest material.

I mean, the smell of food makes you drool all over the place.

And you lick people's scabs.

Ryan, it's a perfect opportunity

for me to get to know Amanda.

You've been dating her for over two whole months

and I haven't even so much as sniffed her map of Tassie.

Is that her...? Yeah.

Whoo-hoo!

Sandy mayonnaise crusts!

Mmm!

So, that-that was funny,

running into you at the beach today.

I'm really glad you got to finally meet Jenna.

Yeah, me too. You guys seem close.

I mean, you certainly watch her dog a lot.

You know, I have to ask you a question about her.

Totally.

Anything.

Is she... Squishy Tits?

Oh, uh...

Oh, my God, I knew it.

What was her deal? Was she on drugs?

What? No!

Uh... low blood sugar.

Look, don't judge her based on that video.

I-I'm sure you'd really like her if you got to know her.

Maybe we can all hang out some time.

Like a dinner party or something.

You mean... at your place?

I cook a pretty mean brisket.

That sounds great.

Hey, and maybe you could even serve up some

squ-squ-squ-squish, a-squish-a-sh-squish...

No. No, no. ...squish-squash, squish, squash.

You seriously cannot mention that.

Hey. Hey!

Welcome.

Something smells great in here.

Brought you some.

Sheboygan Seasonal Pumpkin Kale Ale.

Oh. Great. I think I still have the case

that you gave me last year.

You don't have to hoard it, buddy.

It's not our best seller.

But, hey, more for us, u right, bro?

We're gonna put our coats in your bedroom.

Okay.

Hey. Hi. I made a pie.

Oh. You didn't have to do that. I know...

but I wanted to make a good impression.

Are they here yet? What did you tell them about me?

That I'm a nerdy chemist who spends all day in a windowless lab?

I did. But when they see you in that dress,

they're not gonna believe me.

Hey, Amanda. Hi.

It's good to see you again.

Yeah, you too. This is Drew, my fiancée.

She makes everything sound so fancy.

We're getting married.

Congratulations. DREW: Thanks.

That is a beautiful dress.

Thank you.

Ryan helped me pick it out.

Aw. Seriously?

This is nice.

I'll just put this in the kitchen

and get everyone some wine...

or some Pumpkin Kale Ale.

Oh, Jenna, did I mention that Amanda

went to school in Santa Barbara?

Oh, no way! Drew and I are getting married in Montecito.

I love Montecito.

Isn't it the best? Oh, where in Montecito?

Yoo-hoo.

What are you doing here?

I brought dessert!

I found it in the most charming

little French bakery's Dumpster.

There's nothing in here.

Of course there is.

There's a giant grease stain

and a smidge of crusty whipped cream.

I've already chewed up four of these boxes this week.

After tonight, I swear I'm going on a cleanse.

Oh, sorry we're late, by the way. We?

Momentito.

What are you doing sitting over here, Cranky Pants?

Can we just have a nice night tonight? Please?

Ooh, something smells divine. No. Wilfred!

I'll have a glass of Pinot.

Just a club soda for Bear.

Bear's back on the wagon.

Five weeks sober. It's a miracle.

Take my coat?

Wilfred, Wilfred, I know what this is.

You want to get to know Amanda better,

but now isn't the time.

I need everything to run smoothly tonight.

And it will.

Oh, I should say hello.

Wilfred, go home.

Please.

And miss out on a delicious mingle?

Oh, isn't that cute?

Wilfy followed us over to the party!

Well, hello everyone!

Amanda, so good to see you again!

No, no, no, no! Down! Get him off...

Get him off, get him off me! Wilfred!

Sorry. I...

I'm not much of a "dog person."

I think I smell something burning.

I'm sorry.

I can take him home if it's gonna be a problem.

No. No, I-I'll be fine.

It's-it's... I didn't want to

make a big deal out of it.

You know, I just remembered...

Jenna minored in art,

and-and you... like art.

Well, I was a business major,

but this one time my roommate and I,

we had this big argument

about whether it was Monet or Manet.

And it turns out both are correct.

That's the great thing about art.

I'll-I'll just, um...

I'll go get your drinks.

Wilfred, this is exactly why...

Look, Ryan, I am sorry.

I was just excited because