Wanderlust

It's where we want to be.

It's where you want to be, it's where I want to be...

Honey, that's all I've been saying. I've been saying that.

I mean, this is New York City.

It's the greatest city on Earth,

and we get to own a part of it.

Or we keep renting.

George, please. It's time for us to own something.

We're not kids any more.

It's true. Pros and cons,

one more time. Okay.

Go ahead. Talk it over again. Okay, good.

Pros. Great neighborhood.

It's a great neighborhood.

A block from Joe's Coffee. I love that coffee.

It's his favorite coffee. Best coffee in the city.

Shade-grown, fair trade.

So, that's a pro. Coffee.

Con, money.

You said that we could do this.

I'll feel better once I get my bonus.

HBO may make an offer on my documentary.

Well...

Are we done with the pros and cons?

Another con would be space.

You know, it's a studio apartment.

No, it's a microloft. It's a microloft.

It's written in here that it's a microloft. We're adults here.

Let's call it what it is. It's a studio apartment.

It says it somewhere.

I've never even heard of a microloft.

Does your husband do this?

My husband is blind.

I'm sorry.

No, there's no need to be sorry.

Pierre has been blind since birth.

Good. I mean, not "good," but, you know...

Don't worry, it's the only reality he knows.

But, believe me, he can still smell the Chanel on my neck.

He can still taste the pain au chocolat

I bake for him from time to time.

He can still hear every stroke as

I brush my hair before we lie down at night.

And as for touch?

I can get him there with one flick of the finger.

Okay, I know you're nervous, but believe me

this neighborhood is a terrific investment, even in a recession.

It's the West Village. It's the best. Yeah.

Really the best.

This is where you want to be?

This is where we need to be.

Let's do it!

I'm so sorry. I bet this happens all the time.

No.

Here we go. Wait.

Wow! Look at all this space!

Just right up against this...

I got a really big day tomorrow, and you've got HBO.

I wouldn't mind taking a sleeping pill.

Oh, no! I can't take Rick right now. I cannot take your brother.

I'll just... No Rick.

Come on, two minutes. Let's just get it over with.

It's never two minutes.

Hey, Rick. Ricky licky, suck my dicky.

Don't hate me 'cause it's extra thicky.

All right, enough gabbing. Give me the grand tour.

All right.

That's the kitchen. Small.

That's the bathroom. Small.

That's the bedroom. Small.

That's the tour.

Holy shit! Our TV room is twice the size of your whole place.

Yeah, but you live in Atlanta.

Hi, George. Hey, Linda.

It is alive.

Hi, Marisa. Hi, Marisa.

Hi! You look great!

Thanks. I read this article that said if you smile all the time,

you can trick your brain into thinking that you're happy.

Really? WOW.

All right, enough girl gab. I want to show you the new baby.

New baby?

We adopted a black baby. There she is.

All the bells and whistles, 48 large. And check this out.

If some Jackamo tries to steal my car,

I got a remote tracker on there.

Tells me where he is, down to 10 yards.

I go down there, fucking police escort, nab the motherfucker.

It's like, "See you in three to five, ass wipe. You fucking towel head."

So, you think a Sheik is going to steal your car?

Hey, don't laugh, this is Atlanta. We got CNN down here.

I think our connection is bad. You're breaking up.

I can see you closing the computer, dipshit.

I got to say, that Marisa, one lucky lady

because she gets to be married to him. Yeah.

Know what I want to do? I'm going to take off that robe and...

It's okay.

Sorry. You're so tired. I know.

What say we break this place in the old-fashioned way?

Don't fall asleep. Okay.

We can do this. I'm not going to fall asleep.

Are you ready for your meeting?

Yep. Don't forget to smile.

All right? Your movie is a little bit heavy, so keep the room light.

Do you not think I'm a good filmmaker?

That's not what I said. I think you're great.

I think you're a great children's book illustrator,

a terrific jewelry designer.

I loved the homemade ice cream business.

I am familiar with my eclectic resume, thank you very much.

But, honey, with this film, you know it, I found my niche.

I can fly. I believe I can fly.

Come on, say it.

Fine, I believe you can fly.

Get off your fucking phone!

Knock them dead. I'll call you later. Good luck.

The world is becoming a terrible place.

Antarctica is home to some of the world's most beautiful wildlife,

most of whom are dead or dying.

This cute little guy has testicular cancer.

This little girl's home melted and her parents sank.

In our hunger for resources, we are raping these animals.

We are raping them... Stop.

And then we are murdering them.

Stop. Stop.

It's actually not finished.

I'm getting a very interesting sense of what you're going for here.

Thank you! There's no way in hell. We're going to have to pass.

Mmm-hmm.

"Pass"? Yes, "pass."

But it's An Inconvenient Truth meets March of the Penguins!

Meets "I want to slit my wrists",

"because this is the most depressing thing I've ever seen."

I don't understand.

I think what Marcy is saying, Linda,

and please correct me if I'm wrong, Marcy,

I don't want to be off base here.

But what she's saying is that she wants to slit her wrists

because this piece is depressing.

I got that. Yes.

I see that you're pregnant.

Thank you for noticing. What tipped you off, my giant belly?

Or can you see my hemorrhoids

and my second thoughts from where you're standing?

Don't you want your child to grow up

in a world where there are penguins?

To be perfectly frank, fuck the penguins.

I don't think that what Marcy is saying is to fuck the penguins.

No, it is what I'm saying. Fuck the penguins.

And I love penguins. Uh-huh.

But I have to agree with Marcy. Fuck them.

Java chip sounds like it's going to be a winner.

How's the new place, man?

Oh, terrific. Super small and really expensive.

Oh, my God, that does sound good.

Super small and really expensive? Yeah.

Sometimes you can only get one of those, but you got both of those.

Yeah, it's a deal. That's great.

How did that happen?

I know.

Reason number 25 I'm not married.

Like I need someone telling me to buy shit I can't afford.

It's all about the Benjamins, my friend. The Benjamins.

Yeah.

I'll be one of those guys who's just

old and ugly, rich, has a hot wife.

Like...

Gollum. Not Gollum.

Georgie!

Come see me for a little chat when you get upstairs.

All right! You got the point and the wink.

Boss man likes you.

It just doesn't fit the HBO brand.

We do violence and heartache, but it's sexy.

Mmm-hmm. Do you understand?

Of course. What was I thinking?

You know what we could do?

We could throw some vampires in there to have sex with the penguins.

And then you could have brooding, sexy little vampire penguins.

Would that work for your brand?

What if the polar bears were hookers, and on meth?

And then they show their tits for no reason. How would that work?

I think you're joking,

but if you could do that, that would be very interesting for us.

Yeah, very interesting.

And if I do get the promotion, then what?

I have to work more hours at the job I hate.

Wow, you're really bumming me out, man. I hate this job, too.

Wait, what's going on?

Feds got in at 5:00 this morning. Seized everything.

Georgie! Man with the plan.

I am going to take a little rain check on our chit-chat.

Company shutdown effective immediately.

Did I just get wink-point shit canned?

What are you doing here? How did HBO go?

Well, they're passing on this one,

but they are definitely interested in not seeing my other projects,

so it turns out I can't fly.

Why are you not at work, George?

Oh! I got fired.