The Good Place

- _ - Linda.

You can have literally anything you could possibly...

- What the... - You sent a demon in disguise

as one of the subjects?

This outrageous act must be punished.

Chidi will be the fourth subject in this experiment.

I still don't get why the Bad Place

would try something so obvious.

They're desperate. They know they're gonna lose.

Plus, we can get rid of the Linda picture...

and put a Chidi picture on the other side

since we know a ton about him.

This is all good news, right, Team Leader?

Yeah, it's super cool that I'm actively surveilling

and manipulating an ex-boyfriend.

I mean, more so than I usually did.

Okay, let's focus on Brent.

Born on third base,

thinks he invented the game of baseball.

Guys like this believe that the world

revolves around them because... it kind of does.

If we could get him to listen to anyone else,

he'd hear how much better they are than he was,

which might make him realize that he doesn't belong here.

And also, bonus...

maybe he cries like a stupid little baby.

_

- _ - Anyway, long story short,

that's why there are still ducks.

- I saved all the ducks. - Aw!

Incredible. Wow.

Thank you, Wanda. What a life.

Now we turn to our next guest, Chidi Anagonye.

Now Chidi, you led an impressive life as an academic.

Well, not "save an entire species" impressive,

but, yes, I was a professor

of ethical and moral philosophy.

I'm sorry... literally every duck?

- You saved every duck? - In essence, yes.

And I didn't mention this before.

I really don't like to brag but also... horses.

- Oh! - What?

Man... I mean,

compared to you, I feel a little inadequate.

Hey, Mikey, can I ask you something?

I feel bad for making Janet's life

more chaotic and unpredictable,

so here's my idea to make it up to her.

Me and 100 Janet Babies do a giant flash mob...

just total unpredictable chaos all around her.

Great idea, right?

Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason.

- Mm-hmm. - Sorry,

I put a little cheat code in the Neighborhood

where if I say your name five times

my headache goes away.

Do you know why I forced you to act like a monk

in the original Neighborhood?

Does it have to do with the TV show "Monk"?

No.

It's because you have no control over your own impulses.

You think every problem can be solved

with a Molotov cocktail or slashing somebody's tires

or plunging Derek.

So being a monk was torture for you.

The only way for you to repair your relationship with Janet

is to give her some space.

Show her that you can control your impulses.

So you're saying wanting to do something

isn't a good reason to immediately do it?

Yeah.

Man, I wish someone had taught me this on Earth.

People tried, mostly judges.

Hey, show time.

And now, Brent Norwalk,

why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Sure. I'm pretty interesting.

I grew up in Chicago.

A suburb, obviously.

I went to Princeton University.

No handouts, by the way. I earned my spot there...

just like my father and his father before him.

I then inherited the family business,

and in just 18 years,

I grew Norwalk Materials

from a $90 million company...

to a $94 million company.

One second. Hey, Janet.

- Hi, there. - Perrier.

Why don't you tell us about a time

when things didn't come so easy to you.

Look, I've had my share of disappointments.

I smartly bought Netflix stock at $38 a share,

but I couldn't cash it in before I died,

so all that money's going to my dumb kid.

But you have to press on, right?

In the words of Martin Luther King, Jr.,

who I personally believe was a great man,

he said that when life knocks you on your butt,

you jump back up and start throwing haymakers.

I'm not sure he said that.

No, no, he did. You're wrong.

For me, Eleanor,

it's all about taking personal responsibility.

I don't know if people do that.

And if you ask me,

that's what's wrong with this country.

What country?

This was fun, Eleanor, but I have a tee time.

Daddy no golfy, daddy get cranky.

So, Chad, duck lady, nice to meet you.

Thank you. Thank you all very much. You were great.

A car?

- He got a car? - Okay,

well, back to the drawing board.

If we want him to understand he doesn't belong here,

we don't need a drawing board.

We need to bust him open like a piñata.

We tried that in the Bad Place.

The goo that comes out doesn't taste as good as candy.

No, dude, metaphorically.

Ahh.

Although, there is another Bad Place strategy

that might work very well here.

I don't know if that's the right move.

It's our only move.

And we're doing it.

Tomorrow.

What the...

Hey, Janet?

Janet!

Is that Perrier?

- Michael, Eleanor. - Brent, I'm so sorry.

We don't know why all of this is happening.

Well, I do.

This chaos is clearly all about me.

This is the universe telling me that I don't belong here.

Brent, what do you mean?

I don't belong in the Good Place.

I mean, obviously there's a place better than this.

I belong there.

In the best place.

Walk me through this, Brent. I'm not sure we follow.

Well, I've been feeling this way for a while now.

I mean, this can't be all the Afterlife has to offer.

Not to the cream of the crop.

I mean, if this is heaven, then where are my guys?

Where's Scotty and Schultzy and Porcupine?

Where's White Guillermo?

And where is Mexican William?

And what about Squirtman?

Well, he makes a good point.

You know, what about Squirtman?

Also, frankly, my assistant Janet

is a little uptight.

I mean, she hasn't worn any of my gifts.

Have you been asking Janet

to make herself clothes that you give back to her?

Yeah, you're doing the math right there, bud.

Look, this chaos, which is clearly all about me, is a sign.

If this is the Good Place,

I belong in the best place.

So figure it out. Get back to me, okay?

I'm gonna go punch a wall with my head.

I'll meet up with you later.

Michael, I'm afraid we need to talk about Eleanor.

I know what you're gonna say. She's just been really busy.

I'm sure she'll get around to showering at some point.

No, it's not that,

although, it's not... not that.

It's possible we need a new Team Leader.

Oh, really?

We just can't help but question her decision-making.

She balked at bringing Chidi and Simone together.

She ignored my concerns about Linda.

Her plans for Brent backfired.

We've made precious little progress.

Perhaps leadership isn't her forte.

Yeah, I mean, Eleanor is dope,

but she keeps screwing everything up.

That's my thing,

and you wouldn't put me in charge.

Actually, that's a decent point.

But think about what you're saying here.

We have. We should at least discuss

pursuing a change in leadership.

Yeah, definitely, let's pursue it.

Oh, hey, Eleanor, we were just talking about

maybe you shouldn't be... Team... Leader?

- Saved it. - Go ahead, guys.

Speak your mind.

It isn't personal, Eleanor.

When we started this experiment,

I calculated a 9% chance of success.

After your first three days on the job,

it's down to 7.1%.

So purely from a mathematical standpoint,

you are kind of pooching it.

Very helpful feedback.