American Gods

War is coming, Shadow.

And if I don't have the loyalty of my own son,

how can I expect support from anyone else?

You were supposed to go to Lakeside.

I don't do your bidding anymore.

We're done.

You are on a path

from nothing to everything.

I can help you. Don't lose this.

What about Lakeside?

You got an apartment waiting for you there.

I'm good.

Chicago, please. One way.

I do have one.

-Leaving for Lakeside, Wisconsin.

Hey, mister! My friend, here, Alison...

Have a great night.

Ann-Marie Hinzelmann.

You the fellow that needs a ride?

When the Great River gave birth to the First Ones,

they asked Inaemehkiwok, the Thunderbird,

to watch over our people.

Inaemehkiwok welcomed the Great Sun to warm us.

Summoned the rain to make the crops grow,

and battled Misikinubik,

the Great Horned Snake.

Inaemehkiwok.

The cop, Chad... something,

he just dropped me off.

The key broke off in the lock.

Other half, it's in my left hoodie pocket.

Left side.

Turn around.

I was wondering when you'd show up.

My name's Mike, by the way.

Mike Ainsel.

Wait here.

Next time you get locked out,

knock on the door before you go breaking and entering.

I didn't catch your name, by the way.

"Property Manager" works.

Shadow Moon.

I can't seem to save anything.

It just keeps crashing.

Interesting, ma'am.

When was the last time you did a system upgrade?

Ah!

What do you think you're doing?

You know the rules.

Okay. Stop.

No... touching.

All these games we play... none of them work.

You do not lay hands on me.

You've never done this before.

I can't touch you?

I own the biggest IT company in the world.

Everyone wants something from me.

Everyone wants what I have to give.

It's like I'm a fucking god.

So I come here to restore some balance.

Because I thought that you were different than the others.

There are no others like me.

Oh. Oh, I see.

You're special.

As a matter of fact, I am special.

Because I choose to spend my time with you.

No!

Because I am a goddess.

You're smoke and mirrors.

And you're a showgirl.

And this is your stage, bought and paid for

by William Huntington Sanders.

But you can call me Bill.

You have no idea who I am.

I know exactly who you are.

But I will show you.

Is this what you wanted?

I am Bilquis.

Mother of all beauty.

I'm sorry.

I am the color of the sky!

I give light to the sun!

You...

...are nothing.

My dearest Shadow.

We must speak of your head and your heart.

Please attend. Urgently, Zorya Polunochnaya.

Also, don't forget to bring the coin.

For heaven's sake, Mike,

get in the car before you get hypothermia!

In weather like this,

you're out there for five minutes

with improper attire,

and well, the only ride you're gonna need

is to the coroner's in Eau Claire.

I was walking into town to buy a jacket.

It's a good thing you're pretty.

Ah! Look at the beautiful clunker.

Clunker?

Every year, we take a wreck,

we put it out on the lake,

and then, folks guess the date and the time

when it'll break through the ice come spring.

And then, the winner splits the pot with the high school.

It's really fun.

You're gonna love it.

Now, while Lakeside is known for its fishing,

it's the to-die-for pasties

that put us on the map.

Every delicious bite is like a warm hug.

But you know what really makes this place special?

The people.

-Everyone here genuinely cares for their neighbor.

It's in everything we do.

This spirit was passed down to us

by the town's first citizen and benefactor, Lester Hamilton.

And when he died, he left Lakeside his fortune

so that its citizens would continue to prosper.

All he asked in return was that we honor

some of his favorite Old World traditions.

So every year, we hold an ice festival

to celebrate his generosity

and give thanks for our magical little town

and its Nordic heritage.

I think you're gonna like it here.

Rat-Faced Irresistible.

The trout'll jump into your frying pan

once word gets out you got one of these babies.

You talking this poor man's ear off, Ann-Marie?

Lee Hennings, proprietor.

Mike Ainsel.

What can we do for you, Mr. Ainsel?

You need to get this fella into something warmer

than a sweatshirt.

Nothing too hardcore.

Not sure how long I'll be in this part of the country for.

He's the new tenant on Gorman Street.

Gorman? Heh.

We were wondering when somebody was gonna move in there.

Welcome.

Alison, can you show Mr. Ainsel

the parkas, please?

And we've got some great

after-Christmas sales on sweaters, too.

Thanks.

Hey. I remember you.

Last night, outside of the bus,

um, my friend and I were being jerks. I'm sorry.

Don't worry about it.

I was having a bad day. Made me smile.

Um, okay.

Uh, well, here are the parkas.

And, um, here are the on-sale sweaters,

although, personally, I'd avoid the Christmas ones.

They're super lame.

Right. Okay.

Let's see what this one looks like.

Okay.

What do you think?

Amazing.

I mean... I mean it seems to fit you really well.

Well, that is good enough for me.

I will take it.

Right, these sweaters. Anything in reindeer?

Uh, yeah, yes, I do.

What say we sell Mr. Ainsel

a clunker ticket, Alison?

I was just about to ask.

Okay.

Just need to, uh, pick a date and a time.

When do you think it will go through the ice?

March 23rd.

7 p.m. till 8 p.m.

Okay. Uh, most people pick more than one day.

But, uh, I guess this is your strategy.

That's it.

Okay. Well, I guess I gotta admire

a man who goes with his instincts.

Good luck. Five dollars.

Now...

which one of your teeth...

are loose, huh?

Is it this one here? Ho!

Whoa.

Now that wasn't so bad, was it?

No. Hey, I'll tell you what,

I'll pay you twice the Tooth Fairy's going rate

if I may keep this molar for my research.

Yeah!

When did our soldiers

first carry our totems into battle?

When Gudfred fucked up that Frankish business.

The last time was Yorktown.

We abandoned our post as Hessian Jaegers

and joined Washington's ranks.

Half the art of war is knowing when to switch sides.

Mm.

You have done well for yourself.

Oh, I'm comfortable.

Tyr, the warlord, comfortable?