White Collar

Morning,sunshines.

Coffee.

What do we got?We got any headlines?

Not much,although they keepbitching about his bible.

Could be a debt ledger.

Well,whatever it is,it's missing,and they ain't happyabout it.

Hey,guys,we have a situation.

Is that barelli?

What's he doingdown here?

I don't know,but it can't be good.

That's paul ignazio,his nephew.Here,turn the mike up.

- *** - ***

***

You guys are the fbi,right?

We need your help.

Last week,somebody walksinto my church... steals the bible.

A bible?

An actual bible?

Yeah,you know -- the flood,abraham sacrifices isaac.You heard of it?

Why do you want our help?

I'm a taxpaying citizen.

So?File a police report.

Come on,burke.

You got your guyssitting on me.

It's part of the game,I know,but it meansthat I'm not free to... uh,find out who did this.

Yeah,it means you're not freeto bust heads until you do.

Do I have to takethese accusations?

Get to your point.

This bible --it's not just some book that the gideons leave on the nightstand.

This -- this is five centuriesof history from naples.

The saints prayed over this book.

Your personal feelingsfor barelli aside,I don't need the archdiocesecrawling down our necks

because we refused to helprecover a medieval bible.

Fine.

But if barelli askedfor our help,he mustreally want it back.

All right,let's get thisstraight,here.

You may go to confessiononce a week,but the bureaudoesn't forgive sins.

We don't work for you.

What do you want?

Shut down your book making operations at masso's club.

Masso'S.

It's a restaurant.

See for yourselfanytime... after thursday.

Please.

Please help me findmy goddamn bible.

Please stop.

It's part of my process.

Look,either you taught hertoo well,or it's just a bottle.

It's more than that.**

There's a message here.

Hello?

Yeah,peter.I'll be down in 5.

Oh,okay.I'm coming right now.

Oh,the man interferes yet again.

- Can you please --yes.

I'll take it back to the lab,run some tests.

You don't have a lab.You have a storage unit.

Semantics.

Thanks,moz.

white collar Season01 Episode03

The bible belonged to the church of saint camillus de lellis in naples.

It was brought here in 1903.

It's been the heart of our parish.

Now this.

No alarm,no witnesses,no sign of a forced entry.

It looks like a smash-and-dash.

Anything unusual that night,father?

No,not that I recall.

Have E.R.T. Run the prints against the parish roster.

Something tells me we'll get a few matches.

Nobody from this parish stole that bible.

Oh,sure.You guys are all choirboys,right,barelli?

No surveillance cameras.

The lord sees all.

And that's good enough for us.

Maybe I'm getting my st.Whatevers mixed up,but didn't you used to run a soup kitchen here?

Not anymore.

Who steals a bible?

People steal everything.

Why would we steal one?

Just in theory.Uh,they're rare.

Yeah,it makes them valuable,but not like a picasso.

It's definitely niche markets.

Tough to fence.

People get weird about buying stolen religious artifacts.

I think it's an irony thing -- that pesky eighth commandment.

Yeah,"thou shalt not steal.

" Well,it depends what's important to people.

Did you know that an original "star trek" dome lunchbox goes for 600 bucks?

I don't try to explain it.

No,I-I can appreciate that,but why this one?

Well,your missing book is famous.

It's known as the healing bible.

Really?Attribution.

I-in 1588,the plague passed through naples.

Father camillus carried the book into disease-stricken ships in the harbor.

Not a single person who touched the bible died.

Good story.

20 years later,a blind girl regained her sight when she rescued the book from a fire.

I could give you many more examples.

No,I-I'm sure you could.

Look,maybe you don't steal it for the money.

Maybe you steal because you're a true believer.

- True believer? - You gotsomething better?

Every person in that churchhas a felony record.

The only people I don't suspectare the ones in prison.

So,let's startwith the faithful.

"It cures blind nunsand lepers.

" Sounds like every storyin sunday school.

Okay.Look at this.

In 1918,30,000 people in new york died from the spanish flu.

No one in this parisheven caught a cold.

Maybe whoever took itthinks it's gonna heal them.

It's worthlooking into.

- Nobody in this churchgot the flu? - It's true.

Why these guys and notthe church down the block?

Because of a book?

Tough to swallow.

- I thoughtyou were catholic. - Lapsed.

So you don't thinksome higher power could have savedthe congregation?

Oh,I'm more inclined to thinkthey kept the doors shut and loaded upon vitamin C.

Maybe god works with what he's got.

And god said,"shut thine doorsand eat thine oranges"?

Why not?

All right,look.

When they dug up king tut,everybody made such a big dealout of the curse of the pharaoh.

Yeah,two dozen people whoentered the tomb ended up dead.

Yeah,they probably caughtsome old bacterial infection.

Germs -- there'syour divine intervention.

God can't use bacteria?

I prefer my miracles with a little more smiting and lightning.

Priest:Can I help you?

Thanks for seeing us,father.

We wanted to run downone thing.

You didn't tell us your bible was also knownas a healing bible.

I didn't thinkit was relevant.

Could be.

Was there anybodyin your church who is a true believer ofthe healing power of the bible?

Someonewho was terminally ill?

Someone who hada sick family member?

I was afraidthis might happen.

What?

Mr. Barelli has discouraged the homeless from the church.

He made you shut downthe soup kitchen.

How christian of him.

The night of the theft,I let a homeless mansleep in the sanctuary.

His name's steve.

Is he sick?

No.But someonevery close to him is.

Steve?

Uh,my name is peter.

This is my friend neal.

You mind if we ask yousome questions?

The churchyou stayed in last week -- they're missing a bible.

You know anythingabout it?

Yeah,I-I took it.

Great.

We need it back.

What do you mean?Where is it?

I took it from the churchlike he asked me to.

Now,he saidthat he would show me how to help lucyget better.

Then he took it from me.

Now,he has notbrought it back.

Do you know where he is?

No.I wish I did.

Who asked you to take the biblefrom the church?

Look,he said that he wouldhelp lucy get better.

She's not getting better,okay?She's getting worse.

What's wrong with her?

She's tired all the time.

S-she don't eat nothing.

Now,if I could get that bibleback,she'll get better.

The man who asked youto take the bible -- did you meet himat the church?

Yeah.

Steve,if we showed yousome pictures,do you thinkyou could recognize him?

We just need to getthe bible back,okay?

'Cause she's fading,all right?

You okay to keep going?

What?

There's more of them?

Yeah.Let's,uh,just get throughthis one,okay?

Glad we followedyour hunch.I hopeit takes us somewhere.

O ye of little faith.

Been waiting all day to trot that one out,huh?

Been holding onto it since lunch.

Um,I'm gonna beright back,okay?

- That bad,huh? - Yeah,"that bad"was about an hour ago.

Just give methe damn thing.

No luck,huh?

No,not --not really,no.

Look,um...I'm sorryI'm not more help to you.

My bell got rung pretty good in fallujah.

You were in iraq?

Yeah.

T-that's whereI found lucy.

We called in this predator strike on this trigger house.

Two hellfires came in... ...and just destroyedeverything.

Then I hear this littlewhimpering,so...

I lift upthis piece of roof,and there she was,just wagging her tail.

Well,you think you could lookat one more book?