The Hexecutioners

You the death doula?

Excuse me?

You're late.

You're the next of kin?

Yeah, I guess.

Well, my name is Malison McCourt.

I'm a palliative technician with Lifesource Closures,

and we'd like to extend our compassion

to you at this sensitive time.

I'd like to personally reassure you

that your family's closure will be

meaningful, merciful and memorable.

Just cut the crap. I heard this all at the processing, okay?

Just put the needle in and you're done.

If I could do it myself I would have already, okay?

- What? - It's my first day.

Oh, well, good for you.

She's in this room, you sit here.

How long has she been like this?

She hasn't been out of bed in four years. Coma.

Stubborn as a mule.

Is there anything that you'd like to say?

No.

She will go painlessly.

Okay.

No.

- Murderer. - Oh, my God.

No. No, no, no, no.

No. No, no, no.

No!

I should have done this a long time ago.

That's illegal! You can't just do that!

There's a word for what you just did!

8:17 a.m.

Ms. McCourt!

You can't have cats in your flat.

I don't have cats, I have a cat.

I know your type.

I don't want any goddamn cat ladies in my building.

When is the furnace being fixed in here, Mr. Poole?

Oh, you're demanding now.

I'm not demanding, I'm simply asking.

There're a couple of old buggers over there

that could use our services.

That's not funny, Mr. Winston.

No, you're right. I'm sorry.

So, uh, you had a bad day?

You had a bad start, am I right?

I just need to know that the clients are being screened properly.

That is a priority, but to be quite honest

by the time you techies get there, everything is legally sound.

See we're heavily regulated. Heavily.

So everyone at Lifesource Closures has dotted the I's and crossed the T's

so you can do whatever it takes to just close.

You know? Turn the lights out.

That's your job. Okay?

The client called me a murderer.

They can do that. I mean, you think you're the first one?

I mean these people, half of them,

they're like total baskets.

Whatever comes out of them is gonna be crap.

But the client is the family. Okay?

- I need this job. - Sure you do. And it's a great job.

I mean, okay, this crap that happened to you yesterday?

Well, it happens. It happens to everyone, okay?

But I've worked a little something out for you, okay?

It's just that none of this was covered in the training.

We do this sometimes, all right?

We have this program where we send you out

with an experienced techie,

who will help you through the things

that aren't covered in the training course.

Like the client calling me a murderer?

Not the client! Not the client.

The client is the family,

and you served them perfectly and legitimately.

- Okay? - Okay.

So, now, we'll send you out tomorrow to close with Olivia Bletcher.

Now she's got three years, she's been with us from the beginning.

She is a total pro, and everything that this job

can throw at you has been thrown at her.

Now Olivia is going to help you with your confidence,

she's going to help you make the right call if things go south.

She's going to be your friend.

Okay.

Thank you Mr. Winston.

Yes, this client is very important, okay?

He's very rich.

He's, you know, a little eccentric, too.

Now, it's an out of town job so take your car

and pack for three days.

Hey, kiddo, come on, lighten up.

This is euthanasia, it's not like we're saving lives or anything here.

Just remember what I tell all my girls.

This is a goddamn suicide mission so take no prisoners!

Run, Charley.

Mr. Poole?

Now anointed my head with oil my cup runeth over.

Surely goodness and mercy should fall on me

all the days of my life.

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Are you okay?

I'm praying for you.

Jesus, to forgive you.

What?

Thou shalt not kill!

That's offensive!

Stop it!

Stop it!

Lucy?

Mr. Poole?

Mr. Poole?

Mr. Poole?

Are you in here?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry about earlier, about what I said.

What are you doing in there?

I had a dream.

You're going to kill me.

You'll kill anyone, isn't that right?

It's your job, I understand.

In my dream, God told me to tell you something.

The people you kill don't go to him.

They go to you.

Mr. Poole, you've just had a terrible dream.

Please go back to bed.

You can't live here anymore.

- Hey, hun. - Hi.

Trunk?

How long you plan on staying?

I'm just in between moves.

Winston said you had a rough one yesterday.

It was awful.

I'm so glad that you're here now.

Well, they say that they screen the clients,

but I'm pretty sure they only vet bank balances.

That's terrible.

In the training they made it all sound so noble.

And they used words like,

"dignity" and "closure" and I guess I just

bought the whole thing.

- Smoke? - No, thanks.

- Mind if I smoke? - Um, sure.

If you could just put the window down.

Sure.

Well I'm looking forward to this one.

Three, days in the country.

Nicely stocked wine cellar, no doubt.

I don't drink.

The old guy's loaded.

We might even get tipped.

So morbid, Olivia.

Good one, Mal.

Can I call you Mal?

Yeah.

That's...

That's actually what my mom used to call me.

What do you like to be called?

Olivia is good enough.

Okay, Olivia.

Have you had night terrors yet?

- Have I what? - Night terrors.

They're part of the job.

They don't cover that.

You get a couple of bad nights.

Night terrors.

Sounds awful, what causes that?

I think it's just your unconscious dealing with the fact that,

well, adjusting to the fact that you're now killing people.

Closing, closure.

- You're closing. - Closing people.

- Closing people. - Right.

You'll be good.

You're a company girl now.

Shall we knock first?

Yeah.

Are you ready for this?

No, I'm really not.

Malison! Come on.

- Murderer. - Did you hear that?

Don't do that Malison, I'll jump out of my fucking skin.

Murderer.

Murderer!

Oh, my God!

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.

You're okay, you're okay.

Is she all right?

Oh, God. What?

Malison, meet Edgar.