Young & Hungry

Get out, get out, get out. My abuelita will be here any minute

Why do I have to wait to meet your abuelita at dinner...

Why can't I stay and meet her now?

She's gona think you slept here, and sofia is not a virgin.

But I did sleep here and sofia is not a virgin

My abuelita cannot know any of that.

Sofia, relax. Grandmas love me.

I'm respectful, I listen to their stories,

and I flirt with them a little, makes them feel alive.

You know what? I'll meet her tonight.

And whether you impress her or not, you have more than impressed me.

Aw. Get out.

Yeah. I'm sorry.

God, please, let my abuelita love Nick.

Gabi, he's the first guy who gets me.

He's smart, he's successful, and, um,

I have had an "O" almost every single time.

Almost every time? With me and Josh,

every time it's go time, it's "O" time.

Yeah, well, you don't have an abuelita to worry about.

What if she doesn't like Nick, Gabi?

So?

She's my grandmother, Gabi. I have to impress her.

You sound like you're 10. You're 25 now, who cares what she thinks?

You're an adult.

Am I?

Did you just have intercourse?

- Twice this morning. - You're an adult!

You know what? You're right. So what?

If she doesn't like my boyfriend, that is her problem.

I am an adult.

Oh my God, it's her!

Abuelita, you're finally here!

Oh! And look at you!

All grown up, a beautiful young lady.

- Very impressive. - Oh, she's the best.

You would think a grownup would know she

should pick up her elderly grandmother

from the airport.

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought a cab would just be easier.

Mm. You know what's not easy?

Avoiding getting mugged while waiting for a cab.

Hola, Abuelita.

It's me, it's Gabi, it's Sofia's friend from when we were kids,

but now we're adults.

Indeed you are. Look at what a gorgeous young lady you've turned into.

- Thank you, Abuelita. - So why would you want

to wear all that trampy makeup and look like an old hooker?

- Let me tell you something, Abuelita. - What?

I totally would've picked you up from the airport.

Come on, Sofia, let's get her bags!

Ooh! It's a letter from my prison pen pal.

Big Tiny!

Is being forced to correspond with you part of his punishment?

My church started a pen pal program,

so the prisoners can stay in contact with the outside world.

And just because Big Tiny made

some bad decisions in his life,

doesn't mean he's a bad person.

You never said what he was in for?

- Murder. - What?

Oh, only second degree.

Nobody plans to kill their mama.

Look, he's a changed man.

Listen to this.

"Dearest Yolanda, As I peer out through the bars

"and see the sunlight, I dream of the day

I can soak in its warmth."

Oh, poor man.

He's never gonna feel the warmth.

"Well, today that dream becomes a reality.

I'm being released, and I hope that we may finally meet..."

Oh my damn!

They're lettin' him out!

What the hell's wrong with the prison system?

I thought you said he's a changed man?

Oh, grow up!

People don't change!

He's gonna come for me!

All right, you get it.

I'm not getting it, you get it.

Oh, hell no! Hide!

Hey, sorry I rang the bell so many times.

I couldn't find my keys.

Gabi... we need to talk.

Are you breaking up with me? It's fine. It's cool. I can take it.

Why? Is it because I have trampy makeup

and I look like an old hooker?

I'm not breaking up with you, but after I tell you this secret,

I'm afraid you're gonna break up with me.

Are you sick? Are you married?

Do you have a child? You don't like my grilled cheese?

Gabi...

I'm a magician.

What?

Yeah. I'm, uh... I'm "The Great Ma'Josh'in."

That's your secret? You're into magic?

I've loved doin' it since I was a kid, but all my ex-girlfriends

hated it so much, it's actually ended relationships.

And the thing is, I'm hosting this charity event here this weekend,

and they asked me to perform my magic, and it's a really good cause,

and I wanna do it, and I just... I felt like I really needed to tell you.

So, no kid?

Nope. Just the magic.

Man, that is such a relief.

Why did you make such an issue out of this?

So you're okay with it?

If this is what you love to do, and it makes you happy,

then I support it a million percent.

Gabi, it's official.

You... have the key... to my heart.

Wait a minute. Did you have these the whole time?

Did you take these out of my purse?

Gabi, you are the perfect girlfriend.

Aw.

Wanna go upstairs and make some of our own magic?

- Sure. - Yeah, right.

Ooh. You need a hanky?

- Thank you. - Oh. Oh.

Ma'Josh'in!

Whew. Well, that was a first.

Yeah. It was.

First time I got to use some of my other magic in here.

What was your favorite part?

Oh, I have to pick just one?

I know, right? I tried a few new things.

Uh-huh. Yeah.

You did.

Well, tell me one. You know, for next time.

Was it my... sleight of hand?

When I was about to touch you in one place...

But then touching me

in the opposite place? Yeah. Huh. Didn't see that comin'!

Or how about when I threw my voice?

Instead of yelling "Yes," I yelled...

"Shazam"? Yeah, I was like,

"Where the heck did that shazam come from?"

- Gabi, I love you. - Mm-hmm.

And now that I know that you know everything about me,

and you still love me,

well, that just makes our relationship even more...

Magical?

You took the word right out of my mouth!

And now,

I'm gonna take something out of yours.

Wow. I can't believe

your other girlfriends didn't like this.

Well, that dinner went worse than expected.

Nick, what on Earth would make you flirt with my abuelita?

I told you, that's my thing. It works every time.

Well, she saw right through it. You know what she called you?

A suck-up. Now she'll never trust you.

Think I should send her flowers?

Oh my God, you are a suck-up.

You know what? You're mean.

You take after her.

I'm not mean, and she's not either.

She is honest, and she's usually right,

which is why people want her approval.

- No, she's mean. - I know.

Aah! Abuelita!

Well, my sex life is over.

Gabi, Abuelita hated Nick.

- I wanna go first. - No, I wanna go first.

How about I go first? Sofia, see you tomorrow.

- Okay, but you still love me, right? - Yeah, I love you.

Get this! Josh is a magician!

- Oh my God. - I know.

God, it was horrible. There was a cape. There was a top hat.

He did magic tricks in bed. Magic tricks in bed, Sofia.

Oh my God, did he make something disappear?

Oh, just my sexual satisfaction.

I mean, I still love him and everything,

but for the first time ever with Josh, I had to fake it.

- You faked your "O"? - Oh, indeed I did.

Not that he noticed. He was too busy trying to catch a dove he released.

God, I never should've told him I was supportive of his magic.

What the hell am I gonna do about Nick?

Okay, how did we get back to your thing?

Magic?

Sofia, we already discussed this, okay?

You don't have to impress her.

You want Abuelita to like Nick, you just have to stand up to her, okay?

You're a freakin' adult now.

Well, you're a freakin' adult, too,

and you can't even tell Josh that you hate his magic.

Man, it would just be so much

easier if you could tell Josh my problem,

and I could tell Abuelita your problem.

- What? - You're afraid to talk to Josh,

and I'm afraid to talk to Abuelita.

So, why don't we just switch?

Oh my God! That's genius!

If you can't handle somethin', you just give it to someone else who can!

That's what an adult would do!

Ooh!

Elliot!

I know, I know. If it's Big Tiny, tell him you're dead.

Hi, I'm Big Tiny. I'm here to see Yolanda.

Oh, she dead.