Sydney to the Max

Dad, what have you done to the house?

It looks horrifying!

Aw, you're just saying that.

Seriously, it's amazing. Every year,

‐you outdo yourself. ‐Thanks, Syd.

So, guess my costume.

You're a haunted mattress!

No. Just wait till the rest of my costume gets here.

And there it is now. Close your eyes!

Okay, ladies, let's get in formation.

Okay, Dad, open your eyes!

Girls: Happy Halloween!

A peanut butter and jelly sandwich!

‐Wait, creamy or crunchy? ‐Crunchy.

Then, I love it!

Guys, we are definitely gonna win

‐Best Group Costume at school today. ‐We better.

I'm tired of losing to the Anderson twins.

Last year, they came as each other and still won!

‐I just can't wait to go trick‐or‐treating. ‐Me, too!

I love going to the Montags.

They always give out king size candy bars.

Syd, remember when we were little,

and you ate five in one sitting?

Don't remind me. That was the year we had to buy a new couch.

Let's not forget the Riveras' house.

You never know when Mr. Rivera is gonna pop out and scare you.

Last year, he fell out of a tree.

He loves Halloween so much,

he even tried to scare the paramedics.

Okay, guys, let's pack up this sandwich to go.

We better go open‐face until we get to school.

You know what, guys?

We are definitely gonna win best costume.

Oh yeah. It's in the bag.

Or should I say, the sandwich bag.

Uh, guys?

Why are none of the other eighth graders wearing costumes?

It is Halloween, right?

Look at you guys!

I didn't think anyone our age

dressed up for Halloween anymore.

Lemme guess.

Peanut butter and jelly.

Oh!

You think this is a "costume" costume?

No. (laughs) This is...

an ironic costume.

Olive: Yeah.

We're going as eighth graders

who don't know that they shouldn't be wearing costumes.

Fooled ya!

Oh, that's funny! You know,

for a second, I thought you guys were, like, really dressed up

and were gonna go trick‐or‐treating and everything.

What? No. How lame would that be?

So lame. The lamest.

In fact, on a scale from zero to lame,

‐it's like‐‐ ‐I think we made our point.

Now, if you'll excuse us, we were actually headed

to the bathroom to get out of these.

Yeah. We already gave everybody a good laugh.

‐But we're still trick‐or‐treating, right? ‐Not the time, Emmy.

Hey, girls. Check out

these boba eyeball smoothies.

Some people want to watch they eat.

Others want what they eat

to watch them!

Thanks, Dad, but we're not really up for Halloween humor.

What's wrong? You guys didn't win best costume?

No, but we won only costume.

We were the only eighth graders who dressed up.

It was totally humiliating.

Oh. Well, at least you'll have fun trick‐or‐treating tonight.

Oh, no, no, no, no. We're not going.

Wait, you were serious about that?

Oh no, my baby girl's outgrown trick‐or‐treating?

Dad...

Don't worry. I'll keep a smile on the outside.

But, boy, I am a mess in here!

Let's face it.

We're just too mature

to be running around in silly costumes.

Did someone say they don't like silly costumes?

I couldn't agree more.

That's why I dress like myself.

Cool.

Too cool, Grandma. In fact,

I'm deleting the cool emoji from my phone,

and, from now on, just sending a picture of you.

Thanks, Noodle. Well,

I've got six parties I've gotta go to, so I gotta bounce.

I hate to say goodbye, so I'll let my costume do it for me.

I'm confused.

Eighth graders are too old to wear costumes,

but college kids aren't?

Well, I guess that's why they call it middle school.

We're stuck between little kid fun and big kid fun.

Then, what are we gonna do tonight?

What if instead of trick‐or‐treating,

we just walk around the neighborhood, in costume,

asking people for candy?

Emmy, that is trick‐or‐treating.

Darn, I was hoping you wouldn't notice.

I know! How about we have

a super spooky, not at all babyish

hang in the Girl Cave?

Girls: Yes! Awesome! I'm in!

I better get home. I wanna make sure

the Girl Cave looks extra spooky.

I'm talking snakes, bats, and spiders.

You mean fake spiders, right?

Do I?

‐Ah! ‐What's the matter?

My smoothie just winked at me!

Happy Halloween, Max!

You mean Hallo‐wazzup!

Wazzup!

Ready for some serious trick‐or‐treating tonight?

Oh yeah! Candy can run, but it can't hide!

Happy Halloween, Ms. Reynolds!

Ooh, are you gonna be a witch again?

Yeah. I just wish I had time to find a talking cat.

Mom, cats don't talk.

They do in my world.

Did you remember to go to the drugstore

and buy me some candy to give out tonight?

Here you go.

‐That's it? ‐Sorry.

That's all they had left.

Next time, you really shouldn't wait until the last minute.

You're right, Max, because I do nothing all day.

I had the butler decorate the house,

put my witch costume together...

Where is that guy anyway? Oh, that's right.

I'm the butler!

Finally, we agree on something.

Excuse me. The change from the candy.

There wasn't any.

Wow, I can't believe how much they charge for candy.

Did you tell them it was for Judy Reynolds?

‐Yes. ‐And what did they say?

They said, "next in line!"

What a rip‐off. Wish I owned a candy factory.

I'd move far away from here.

You mean we'd move far away from here.

Yeah, that's what I meant.

I can't believe

that a drugstore would take advantage

of a hardworking single mom.

They didn't.

I did.

What are you talking about?

Look, we know the houses that give out the best candy.

What if we could hit those houses four times in a night?

But, they'd be able to tell it was us.

You know I make a strong first impression.

That's why I told my mom they only had one bag of candy.

I used the rest of the money...

to buy these cheap costumes!

We'll just keep putting on new costumes,

and they'll never know it's us!

I don't know, Max.

If we take all the good candy, all that'll be left

for the other kids is raisins and baby carrots.

And wouldn't that be so much healthier for them?

Leo, we'd be doing these kids a favor.

Okay, I'm in. But I'm only doing it for the children.

Trick or treat!

Wazzup!

‐Huh? ‐It's what we said in the '90s.

The 1890s?

No, I'm a 1990s skateboarder.

I'm, like, totally gnarly, dude.

If I tell you I get it, can I have my candy now?

Whateverrr!

Hey, Dad. Thanks for helping me set up

the Girl Cave for the party tonight.

No sweat, dudette. Hope it looks fly.

And you are...

Come on! The backwards hat, the shorts, the T‐shirt,

the skateboard?

I got it! You're a dad who just cleaned out the garage!

No, I'm a skateboarder from the 1990s!

See? Was that so hard?

It wasn't easy.

Fine, I'll do what I do every year. I'll be a vampire.

Maybe I'll be a vampire skater.

: Vazzup!

Nah, maybe just the vampire.

: Vhat a vonderful idea.