Below Deck

- PREVIOUSLY ON BELOW DECK...

SOMETIMES I'M NOT SURE

YOUR BOYFRIEND'S REAL, ADRIENNE.

WHY?

- I DON'T KNOW. HE JUST SEEMS LIKE A MYTH.

NO. HE EXISTS.

COOPER IS MY BOYFRIEND.

HE'S AN AMAZING GUY.

- SO DID YOU MAKE OUT WITH CJ?

YES.

I'M STARTING TO REGRET A LITTLE BIT,

HOOKING UP WITH CJ.

- HE OBVIOUSLY HAS FEELINGS TOWARDS YOU.

DO YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM?

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

HOW MANY OF YOU GUYS DRINK?

WHEN WE'RE ON CHARTER, YOU DON'T DRINK.

IT'S THAT SIMPLE.

SIMON AND HIS WIFE

ARE PREVIOUS CHARTER CLIENTS OF MINE.

HE'S FUN AND CLASSY.

- LIKE, YOU DON'T SHOW UP ON A BOAT

WITH LITERALLY 50 GARMENTS

THAT NEED TO BE PRESSED.

- YOU DON'T GET IT. IT'S YOUR JOB.

- IT'S LIKE WHITE TRASH RICH PEOPLE.

MY SAKE IS NOW HOT.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

THIS ISN'T GOOD.

COMPLETELY OVERWHELMING.

HEY, CJ!

KAT'S BEEN DRINKING.

THAT'S NOT TOO TOUGH TO FIGURE OUT.

- KAT WANTS TO GO TO THE BAR.

- I'M CONCERNED THAT SHE'S GONNA LOSE HER JOB.

AND--

BUT I GUESS THAT'S WHAT'S GONNA HAVE TO HAPPEN.

KAT, SAM'S UPSTAIRS DOING YOUR JOB RIGHT NOW.

I WOULD LIKE FOR HER TO BE IN BED.

- OKAY, FINE, I'LL HAVE HER GO TO BED.

- I'LL BE RIGHT UP THERE. I'VE BEEN DOING DISHES.

- NO, I'LL HAVE HER GO TO BED.

- I KNOW WHAT KAT'S LIKE WHEN SHE'S DRINKING.

I'VE SEEN HER BEHAVIOR BEFORE.

IT'S INCREDIBLY SIMILAR TO WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT NOW.

WHERE--WHERE'D SHE GO?

- I'M RIGHT HERE. - OH, OKAY.

BUT DO YOU WANT SAM?

NO, NO, NO, I WANT YOU.

- TO BE DRINKING WHILE WE'RE ON CHARTER

WITH GUESTS ON BOARD

IS ALMOST AN UNFORGIVABLE OFFENSE.

YOU GOT--

NO, I'M JUST SAYING--

OH, HOW MANY ccs ARE THOSE?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THEY'RE FAKE TITTIES.

HELLO. - STOP.

THEY'RE 350s?

- I GOT A TEN-YEAR WARRANTY ON 'EM, SO IF YOU WANT TO--

- WHOA, WHOA, THOSE AREN'T YOUR--

- YEAH. HELL, YEAH. - REALLY?

YEAH, REALLY.

- GET ME THE BRIGHTEST FLASHLIGHT YOU CAN GET.

I'M GONNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING. IT'S SO COOL.

DO YOU HAVE A BRA ON, OR ARE YOU JUST WEARING THE TOP?

- YEAH, I HAVE A BRA ON. - OH, JEEZ.

IS HE SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?

REIN YOU BACK IN, BABE.

- I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU GUYS THE NEATEST THING.

- KAT IS EITHER HAMMERED OR ON SOMETHING.

THE COMBINATION BETWEEN THAT

AND THE GUESTS BEING REALLY INAPPROPRIATE,

I THINK WE NEED TO GET KAT OFF THE FLOOR.

IS THIS INAPPROPRIATE?

- IT'S COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE. - NO, IT'S NOT.

- NOT HAPPENING. NOT HAPPENING.

- ALL RIGHT. YOU SHOULD GET OUT OF HERE.

- ARE YOU LIKE A DAVID AT A WEDDING?

- ALL RIGHT. I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE.

AND I'M WALKING AWAY 'CAUSE I'M GONNA HATE HIM FOR THAT ONE.

YOU.

- NOW KAT-- SHE'S NOT ACTING HERSELF.

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

- BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, THE CHARTER GUEST SIMON

IS DEFINITELY TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HER.

AND HE'S JUST BEING A BIT OF A PIG.

TIT IS A LITTLE BIRD,

JUST SO YOU KNOW.

- WHAT? - WHAT'S A LITTLE BIRD?

- TIT. - TIT, YEAH.

I GOT A TIT AND BOOBIE APP ON MY PHONE.

YOU WANT TO SEE IT?

- - NO, I'M SERIOUS.

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT JUST HAPPENED.

- WELL, THEY WERE JUST BEING-- HE WAS JUST BEING

REALLY, LIKE, TO BE HONEST, A CHAUVINISTIC PIG.

AND, LIKE... - OKAY.

TALKING ABOUT HER TITS

AND TRYING TO GET A FLASHLIGHT TO, LIKE, SHOW--

SEE THE SILICONE BAGS AND JUST REALLY SICK STUFF.

AND THAT'S JUST THE BEGINNING OF IT, YOU KNOW.

- OKAY, WELL, THEY DON'T PULL THAT ON ME.

- OH, I KNOW, BUT THAT'S WHAT THEY WERE DOING,

AND I COULD JUST SEE THE DIRECTION.

- I KNOW SIMON. I KNOW HIM.

AND I KNOW THAT HE MEANS WELL.

AND THOUGH HE MIGHT PICK AT A SCAB,

HE'S NOT GOING TO BE THE KIND OF PERSON

THAT WILL EVER, EVER,

EVER MAKE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF.

I MEAN, HE'S SILLY AND GOOFY AND RIDICULOUS AND PERVERSE,

ALL OF THOSE THINGS.

WHICH ARE PART OF THE REASONS WHY I LOVE HIM

AND THINK HE'S A GREAT GUY.

- I THINK THERE WERE DEFINITELY

LINES BEING CROSSED, AND ADRIENNE

NEEDS TO SORT THIS PROBLEM OUT.

WE HAVE TO LOOK OUT FOR HER, YOU KNOW?

- RIGHT. - JUST GO TALK TO HER.

SHE'S IN HER ROOM. SHE'S KIND OF UPSET, WHATEVER.

- YEAH, THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW.

NO, NO, NO, IT'S FINE.

I'M SURE HE'S A LOVELY GUY, BUT I JUST--

- NO, NO, NO, NO, I'M NOT EVEN WORRIED ABOUT THAT.

- , DUDE, I AM SO TIRED.

I KNOW. I AM TOO.

I DON'T KNOW, I DO HAVE A LOT TO SAY TO YOU

BECAUSE I DO CARE ABOUT YOU VERY MUCH.

WELL, SAY IT.

- WELL, I WAS JUST GONNA SAY

THAT I, YOU KNOW, DO CARE ABOUT YOU A LOT,

AND THAT'S WHY I LOOK OUT FOR YOU

AND MAKE YOU CEREAL IN THE MORNING.

AND IT DOESN'T MAKE IT MUCH EASIER

THAT I AM VERY ATTRACTED TO YOU ON MANY DIFFERENT LEVELS.

WILL YOU LOOK AT ME, SO I KNOW

THAT YOU'RE NOT ROLLING YOUR EYES.

- YOU WEREN'T EVEN LOOKING AT ME.

- I'M LOOKING RIGHT HERE. - NUH-UH.

YOU WERE PLAYING WITH YOUR FINGERNAILS.

- TELL ME ONE THING. AM I A PERFECT GENTLEMAN?

OKAY, AM I A GENTLEMAN?

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT.

UM--

- MINUS THE CRAZY, WOULD I MAKE A KICK-ASS BOYFRIEND?

MM, MAYBE TO SOMEONE.

SAM, YOU CAN DOWNPLAY IT

ALL YOU WANT TO RIGHT NOW.

GO AHEAD, IT'S WHAT YOU DO. - NO, IT'S NOT WHAT I DO.

- YOU ACT ONE WAY, AND THEN YOU SAY ANOTHER.

- HOW AM I ACTING AGAINST WHAT I'M SAYING?

- 'CAUSE I KNOW HOW YOU ACT WHEN WE'RE ALONE,

AND I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING RIGHT NOW,

AND THE TWO THINGS DON'T MATCH UP VERY WELL.

I JUST DON'T THINK

THAT IT WAS EVER ANYTHING SERIOUS TO BEGIN WITH.

AND IT'D BE NO DIFFERENT THAN ME, LIKE,

BEING DRUNK AND MAKING OUT WITH, SAY, ANYONE.

- JESUS CHRIST, I'M BEING ALL NICE,

AND YOU'RE JUST ALL--

- I'M NOT BEING MEAN. I'M JUST BEING HONEST.

MM-KAY.

NO MAKING YOU YOGURT AND FRUIT IN THE MORNING...

- WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- PUTTING THE TOILET SEAT DOWN. - NO, NO.

YOU CAN STILL DO ALL THAT. EXCUSE ME.

- I'M POINTING OUT ALL THE STUFF THAT I DO

THAT I THINK IS VERY GENTLEMANLY-LIKE.

- PUTTING THE TOILET SEAT DOWN AFTER YOU PEE

WHEN YOU LIVE WITH A GIRL IS NOT BEING

A PERFECT GENTLEMAN, THAT'S BEING A HUMAN.

ALL RIGHT? -

HOLLY AND YOU WOULD DEFINITELY

SEE EYE-TO-EYE ON THAT COMMENT.

- LOVE YOU. - LOVE YOU TOO.

SO YOU WANT STRAWBERRIES OR BLUEBERRIES

IN YOUR YOGURT TOMORROW MORNING?

BOTH.

- WELL, NOW THAT I'M THOROUGHLY AWAKE

FROM THAT CONVERSATION,

I'M GONNA GO HAVE A CIGARETTE.

- SO WHAT'S WRONG? WHAT'S GOING ON?

- I WAS JUST TIRED AND WANTED TO GO TO BED.

- YOU'RE GOING TO BED, AND YOU'RE NOT

ON LATE SERVICE ANYMORE? - NO.

- SO YOU'RE LEAVING IT TO ME TO DO IT?

- NO. LET ME GET UP.

- IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT TO DO, THAT'S FINE.

- NO, I'M GETTING MY ASS UP. - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

- AND I'M NOT LEAVING YOU IN LATE SERVICE.

I AM ON LATE SERVICE.

AND IT'S NO PROBLEM.

I'M JUST REALLY OFFENDED.

I'M JUST-- - I DON'T--

- DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO ME?

THE WHOLE CONVERSATION UP THERE.

HE'S LIKE, "HEY, KAT, LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

"LET'S, YOU KNOW, GET A FLASHLIGHT

AND, YOU KNOW, WE CAN LOOK AT MY BOOBS, WHATEVER AND--"