Shrinking

Do you see a person?

Yeah. She's there.

Good.

I think you might get robbed later.

Thanks for the food, kid. See you around.

Actually, Paul, we didn't get a chance to talk about how you're doing.

Well, how do you think I'm doing? I'm stuck at home having hallucinations.

Yeah. Yesterday, he pinched my friend Angela to make sure she was real.

She was.

Clearly, she hadn't been touched by a man in a long time.

Man, I can't believe a uti can do this shit.

Yeah, and with Parkinson's,

an inter current infection can stress the body

and cause some really weird stuff to happen.

Well, at least you get to chill for a bit.

I don't want to chill. I love my work more than anything.

- What are you doing? - Anything?

Well, I've known work longer than I've known you.

Not a great save.

Listen, Paul, I know this is hard,

but you said you were gonna lean on all of us, and everybody's in.

So, Gaby and I are gonna cover your patients.

Julie is gonna handle your meds, your sleep hygiene,

and any other… bedroom-related activity

that might help boost morale, if you know what I mean.

- Everybody knows. - Okay, great.

The rest of us are gonna tag in on exercise

and helping you build a routine to get you back faster.

And Sean is gonna drive you around,

and then he's gonna clean out the pool house gutters.

- How does that help Paul? - That one's for me.

Scheduling, not my strong suit because I don't like wrangling people.

I don't like getting up in people's business.

That's why we got ourselves a ringer.

- God. - You're welcome.

Now, I will have your weekly schedule done by tomorrow morning.

Thank you, all of you, for your help.

We are very grateful. Right?

Speak for yourself.

- Come on, Paul. - It's okay.

This is good nanny practice for me because you're such a big baby.

Yes, you are. You're my big baby boy.

I'm gonna kill you.

There he goes.

- Look at him. - He's so cute.

I'm proper happy for you. Cannot believe you got into wesleyan.

So cool. This one's on me.

That good?

- It always fools me by looking delicious. - That's our trick.

Gaby wants to know what I'm up to. Here, come on.

Try to smile for once.

Cute.

Sorry.

Hey. How are you guys doing this week?

Great.

Thanks again for agreeing to take on our friend Maya.

- Of course. - We could tell she was struggling.

And she hates therapists, but we convinced her

that you are the therapist for people who don't like therapists.

A slogan for my merch.

Okay, so when we last left off, Mark, you were explaining

why you were mad at Donna for spoiling the end of a movie you were watching.

No judgies, but I hope you're past that petty shit?

He is not.

- It just felt so disrespectful. - It's been 25 years.

Everybody knows that Bruce Willis was dead the whole time. Like, everybody.

Also, you're a history teacher. Are you gonna give her shit

for telling you that at the end of Hamilton they form america?

- Wha… la, la, la, la, la. - Do you see?

- Do you see what I'm dealing with? - La, la, la.

Dude! This is the end of Hamilton.

We're living in it.

Right now. In real time.

- Is she done? - Yes.

Okay.

Mama!

- You scared me. - I'm sorry.

I'm not used to opening my door and having somebody scream in my face.

Well, you're forgiven.

Yeah, I was actually here last night.

I drove over, I walked up the driveway,

and I realized I was dressed in all black workout clothes,

and I looked like a sweaty ninja.

That's a shame. I'm really into ninjas.

Well. Damn it.

This is the spare key for the car. I thought you might need it.

I actually had three spares made just in case.

I did not have to tell you that.

- Could've just said thanks. - Could've just said thanks.

Thanks. This was so nice of you.

Yeah, I should probably get going.

- Okay. Cool. - Okay.

Maybe because I gave you ice tea at my house,

you could offer me a cup of coffee?

I gotta get to work, but I could give you 15 minutes.

Okay, now I can only give you 14 minutes.

- See? How's that feel? - Not great.

- No. - Come on.

- Clock's ticking. - Okay.

Liz, I've been thinking about this.

You're a patient of mine,

so it's inappropriate for me even to be here.

Nice try.

Drink your green brain smoothie.

This morning you've got physical therapy,

and this afternoon Brian is taking you to the gym.

You can't just put salad in a blender and call it a smoothie.

A smoothie's got ice cream and chocolate syrup and

the extra comes in a little metal cup.

That's a milk shake, Paul.

Great. I'll take a milk shake.

I'd destroy a milk shake.

Are you doing malteds?

I'll take a malted, mom.

I am not making malteds!

If Jimmy asks, that's my football stuck in his tree.

I'll get it later.

Glad you're getting your exercise, pal.

Got a job interview tomorrow at panera.

- I love their lemonade. - Great!

Did he just walk in here and drop off his laundry for you to do?

No. He comes back later and does it himself.

Why are you lying?

Do you see how judgmental he looks?

He's like a shark who smells blood.

- Yeah. - Is that the kid who came to my wedding

wearing nothing but nut-huggers?

It is.

He lost his job again, had to move back home for a minute.

We love him so much, but, god, he just can't figure it out.

He will get there though, right?

Depends.

Biggest mistake parents make is doing too much for their kids.

They have a problem, they swoop right in and fix it.

They never learn resilience.

Are you two coddling him?

Who wants a milk shake?

Extra whipped cream, please.

- Okay, crows do not hold grudges. - No, they do!

I just learned about it last week.

It's why I'm trying to be careful of that guy.

- Why? - I fucked his mother.

I'm still regretting that I told you I came here yesterday.

It's like that time I was at a grocery store,

and I was buying tampons, tissues, and a bottle of wine,

and the young man said, "having a rough day?"

And I said, "having a raging period."

And I wish I had not told him that.

Just did it again.

Shoot.

Okay, quick, you say something embarrassing now.

When Alice was six, I took the wrong kid home from day care.

Gosh. Kidnapping a kid is, like, so much worse.

Yeah. And I literally lured her to my Van by offering her candy.

- What? Okay, okay. - In my defense, it was Halloween. Yeah.

There were multiple optimus primes.

Wow. I'd totally forgotten about that.

I can't believe my little optimus prime is going off to college.

God, wow, college?

My kid's only nine and I already miss him.

How are you dealing with it?

I don't know. I'm just trying...

don't say. My 14 minutes is up.

So, now we know how to start our next conversation.

Yeah, if there is one.

This has been fun.

Enjoy the spare key.

- Stop fucking crows. - Yeah. Let me walk you out.

I just nailed that goodbye.

Don't let me ruin it.

Okay. Bye, Jimmy.

Okay. Bye, sofi.

Goddamn it, my purse. Okay, look away.

Ignore me. Remember the great goodbye.

Dude!

How did you not ask her out?

Liz, you know I hate being spied on!

She's right though, man.

That was painful.

What the hell?

I told you she liked him, back when he bought the car.

- Hey, hey. Got it. I got it. - Okay, you know what?

- Everybody, get out of my yard! - I'm not in your yard.

Hey, you know what? I think I'ma stay up here for a while.

- You can't get down, can ya? - Sure can't.

- You want some help getting down, man? - No. Do you need some help getting down?

You know what? Fuck you. Fuck you.

- Fuck you. - Don't curse at me, asshole!

I need some help getting down!

So, you wanted to meet up to tell me that a beautiful lady likes you,

and you did nothing about it?

- I told her I had sex with a bird. - Well done, then.

I can't stop thinking about how paralyzed I am.

And I'm betting it's the same with you.

Still think about Sarah all the time?

Not all the time.

Only when I'm asleep.

And when I'm awake.

But never during the 30 seconds when I'm drifting between the two.

Best 30 seconds of the day.