Frasier

- - Come on in.

Whoa. Are you sure this is the right house?

I thought you said you were a firefighter.

Uh, I am, yeah.

They, uh, they let you stay here

when you're firefighter of the month.

Come on, how do you afford all this?

Sorry, I couldn't hear you,

I'm already halfway up the stairs.

Oh, my God, is this Baldacci Cabernet?

This costs more than I make in a week.

Should we drink it?

Uh, you know, that's-- it's more of a-a looking wine.

Oh, come on. Let's live a little.

Yeah, I can't.

Uh, most of this stuff is actually my dad's.

Oh, you live with your dad.

Uh, well, you know, I prefer to think

he lives with me.

Aw. Does he need help?

He's definitely needy.

Well, a hero at work and at home.

When my Nan got old, she would suffer these wild delusions.

She thought she was a cat.

Which was cute until she destroyed our sofa.

So you get it.

I mean, all we can really do is love them

and try and make their final years

- as comfortable as possible. - Yeah.

Poor guy, he barely gets out of bed anymore.

Well, I had to cut my birding trip short.

You climb all the way up Mount Greylock,

you think you're going to find a yellow-rumped warbler,

but nary a rump in sight.

Dad, you, uh, you shouldn't be here.

No, I should be up to my eyeballs in rumps.

I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself.

I'll just grab a nightcap and head up to bed.

Oh, no. He must have

slipped out while we were at dinner,

and now he thinks he went mountain climbing.

Yeah, don't, don't blame yourself.

I would never have guessed that he's struggling.

He's so spry.

It's just heartbreaking when the mind goes before the body.

Okay, don't mind me, just you two enjoy yourselves.

I've got an early day at the office tomorrow.

I teach at Harvard.

Oh.

Harvard, that's wonderful.

And you almost saw a bird. Big day.

It was.

I like her.

Dad, why don't you head up, get some rest, huh?

Aw, bless your heart.

Now it's his turn to take care of you.

What the hell is happening here?

Oh, I'm Nicole.

That's your son Freddy.

One second.

Dad?

Sorry.

You told her what? Shh!

Sorry about that.

I apologize for my outburst.

I must have been sundowning.

Ah, that's okay, Dad.

Just call me if you get lost on the way to your room.

And remember, shoes off first,

then pants.

But, Freddy,

it's time for my bath.

You got me into this button fly,

you're gonna have to get me out.

Okay, I'm gonna go. Yeah.

- Hey, Dad. - Oh, Freddy, thank God you're here.

I can't figure out how to make this damn phone work.

You having fun?

More fun than I had at the market.

It took me forever because I was afraid

to go top speed on my Rascal scooter.

I'm sorry, all right?

It's just, you have no idea how hard it is

to explain to a woman I'm a grown man living with my dad.

Right.

Couldn't possibly imagine what that's like.

That's different.

When Grandpa moved in with you,

it was your place, you were helping him out.

Now it's also your place,

but you won't let me do anything to help out around here.

I mean, you pay the bills, you cook half my meals.

Which I am happy to do. You're my son.

- - But I'm also an adult.

I spent a long time on my own.

I'm used to pulling my own weight.

I don't need you stocking the fridge with pudding cups.

- You eat those. - Not the butterscotch.

Hi, guys.

Do you want to see my new face cream?

Not now, Eve.

No. Say you want to see it.

We're in the middle of a conversation...

- Just say you want to see it. - Eve, we don't care...

Well, too bad, 'cause you can't.

My package was stolen.

Could you please fix the friggin' buzzer?

Oh, yeah, Dad, I was meaning to say,

I'm pretty sure it's just a loose wire.

I think a handyman could fix that in no time.

Well, you, you sound like you know what to do.

Um, would you do that for me?

Really?

Yes, it would really help me out.

Okay, sure. Yeah.

And, Eve, uh,

I'd be glad to pay for the package that was stolen. How much was it?

Uh, 35... hundred dollars.

Do they give prizes for best father?

I believe they give out mugs,

but I don't think they're terribly exclusive.

Well, I deserve one.

I have just executed a masterful spell of parenting.

Wonderful. And right on time

as Freddy is in his formative mid-30s.

Freddy was worried that he was losing his independence

since moving in with me, so I thought of a little job for him,

and problem solved.

Ah, yes. Nothing says independence

like condescending busywork.

Congratulations, Alan,

you have set a new school record.

Huzzah. What for?

Ooh, ooh, I'll bet it's a bad thing. Let me guess.

Um, most naps in class.

Oh, no, no.

Oldest food stain on tie?

Your fifth T.A. in a month just quit.

Damn it, I overthought it.

Well, you know, it's not my fault.

These kids complain about everything.

"I don't want to tidy your attic."

"There are noises coming from your attic."

"Why didn't you tell me

there's a family of raccoons in your attic?"

You know, you're lucky her eye was able to heal.

Well, fortunately, I was able to find the one student

who's still willing to work for you.

He's not officially a T.A.

since he's an undergrad,

but, for some reason, he's actually very excited.

Oh, I can't wait to meet

the gumptious individual. I'm sure we'll get on like a...

Reporting for duty, my liege.

You win. I'll retire.

I'm so sorry, Alan,

there were no other choices.

But also, and one could argue

this is even more important,

I think it's very, very funny.

I'm going to get an ice cream.

I can assure you, Dr. Cornwall,

I am absolutely up to the task.

You know, Alan. Olivia's right.

This could be very funny.

- - For example,

I noticed you didn't have any office hours,

so, as the T.A. handbook says I should,

I posted them for you.

You're booked for weeks, Professor Popular.

I'm far too sober for all this.

David, get me a Scotch from the cabinet.

I'm sorry, the T.A. handbook says that

alcohol in school premises is discouraged,

so I cleared it all out.

How did you...

When did you...

Why did you...

You're a real stickler for the T.A. handbook,

aren't you, David?

How's it going so far?

Oh, Dad, try the buzzer for me.

Hey, you fixed it.

How about that?

I don't know how you did it.

Oh, what I did was,

I took the old tube wiring, and I just...

I didn't say I wanted to know.

But thank you.

I can't recall when I've been this impressed.

I got a Medal of Valor last fall.

And now this. What a year.

I also noticed it's a little damp behind the panel,

so I had to open up the walls, see if we had a leak.

Open up the walls?

Wouldn't it be easier just to buy another building?

Yeah, I got started inside, but I'll have to finish

when I get back from my shift.

Don't worry, you won't even notice a thing.

Oh, God.