Red Oaks

Ever consider law?

- Not really. - He should.

He's got the mind for it. He's very argumentative.

- I am not. - I rest my case.

Sorry I'm late.

- Hey, Mom. - I had an early call with a client.

Hi, sweetie. So how's the new job, Sam?

Great, great, deeply fulfilling, like a prostate exam.

- So poetic. - Well, what do you want me to say?

It's the IRS, not Greenpeace.

Should we get started?

Okay, folks, we're in the home stretch.

I filed the dissolution of marriage petition.

I'm just waiting to hear back about a court date.

And since you're both waving rights to spousal support,

and aren't contesting the division of assets,

I expect things to proceed smoothly.

What about the money from the sale of the house?

Oh, it's all held in escrow until the divorce is finalized.

- Any other questions? - Yeah, should we talk about child custody?

- What? - Well, because Sam and I were thinking

we would do every other week, and alternate holidays would work best.

- Mom, I'm 21 years old. - Honey, the grownups are talking.

Okay, I gotta go.

Honey? Just a second.

Your mom and I wanna talk to you about something.

Well, sweetie, you know,

now that your dad and I both have good jobs...

Well, jobs.

And we actually came out ahead on the house sale,

Thanks to your mom's great work as listing agent.

So we were thinking we can afford

to help you out with school,

if you'd like to re-enroll at NYU in the fall.

And maybe you, uh...

You give dorm living a try, huh?

Seriously?

That's amazing.

Oh!

Come here, come here. Go on, get out of here.

You don't wanna be late your first day back.

Bye.

Okay, it is so nice to see him smile.

He has been in such a funk lately.

I don't know why he hates that community college.

It's a lovely campus.

That's not why he's been so down.

No?

No. No.

He misses his girlfriend.

So how are you doing?

Oh, I'm... I'm good.

Busy. You?

- Better. - Hmm.

Not still eating frozen dinners, I hope?

You'll be happy to know that I prepared myself a salad the other night.

Oh, look at you.

Although the apartment gets a little lonely sometimes.

- Yeah. - I've made some friends.

- Hmm. - One guy, you'd love.

He's my supervisor at work.

Terry. He's a black fella. He's terrific.

You know, you don't have to mention he's black.

But he is.

Yeah, but it's not really relevant is my point,

and it could be misconstrued as a little bit, you know...

What?

Racist.

Terry's not racist.

Well, I'll be glad when this is all over.

It'll be nice to get out of our caves

and just get on with our lives.

Yeah.

Huh?

It's good morning in Japanese.

Since when do you know Japanese?

Since I started teaching myself.

I figure they're gonna buy Red Oaks one day.

I mean, they already own half of Manhattan,

and they're crazy about golf, also mayonnaise.

Shouldn't you be spending your time learning how to mix cocktails?

Working on that, too.

- Another letter from Paris? - Yeah.

Any word yet on when she's getting back?

Next week sometime.

She says she has some stuff she needs to wrap up

before she comes home.

Wow. If it was me,

I'd have chosen Paris over here.

No offense, you know, I'd miss you and all,

but c'est la vie, David.

Dude, you ever had sex on a beach?

Technically, no. But one time back in high school,

me and Karen snuck into the athletic field at night

and did it in the long jump pit.

Didn't she get sand in her, you know, uh, hoo-ha?

She was on top.

What?

You never told me how it went with Misty last night.

- You guys have the talk? - Nah.

- Well, what happened? - Same thing that always does.

We hung out. It was awesome.

Felt like we were boyfriend and girlfriend,

except for the not having sex part.

And the second I try to steer the conversation

to "what the fuck is going on with us,"

she got all evasive

and suddenly realized she had to study, and then split.

Dude, you can't let it go on like this.

I know. What's so frustrating is

I really felt like I was making progress.

Like that time we were both baked

and she let me feel her boobs before we passed out?

So confusing.

I know you're sick of me saying this,

but you need to confront her.

You can't keep letting her dodge the subject.

You're right.

I'm gonna do it.

Tonight.

Okay.

Yo, Wheeler!

What's this I hear about you not working valet anymore?

Yeah! You too good for us or something?

Gentlemen, you are looking at

the new Red Oaks Grille's bartender.

You better hook us up with some free booze.

Yeah, like I'd risk my job stealing alcohol for you two joysticks.

Hey, we're not joysticks.

As I live and breathe.

Boychick, look at you. Come here and give me a man hug, will you?

Come on, put some pelvis into it, huh?

- Okay. - You've been working out.

How was Boca?

I didn't end up making it out to Boca, actually.

- No? - Nah.

There was just too much going on around here...

between Father's prostate

and, um, my divorce.

What? Holy shit.

Nash, what happened?

Who's to say?

Perhaps we got married too young.

We'd been drifting apart for a while.

Also she gave me gonorrhea. So there's that.

But I'm okay. I'm over it...

after months of therapy and an aggressive regimen of antibiotics.

- I'm really sorry, man. - Oh, don't be. It's fine.

I'm fine.

No, I'm better than fine.

Besides, what better balm for a broken heart

than to get back out there and start sewing your wild oats,

and planting some rows of corn and potatoes besides?

If you catch my drift.

Ah! I just had the most marvelous idea.

What?

You, me, tonight, kickoff kegger.

I wasn't really planning on going this year.

You don't have to plan a thing. I'll take care of it all.

I'll pick you up and provide the snacks and the blue curacao.

All you have to do is wear a clean shirt.

This is going to be fantastic.

We'll be each other's wingmen.

- I can't, Nash. - Why not?

'Cause I'm not really in the mood,

and I'm seeing someone.

- Who? - Skye.

Getty's daughter? But I thought she was in France.

She is, but she's coming back.

That settles it. You're coming with me tonight.

I won't have you moping about like some fish wife

pining for her sailor to return from the seas.

We're going to have fun tonight, god damn it.

And you are going to get me laid.

Okay, yeah.

Hey, kid, don't give yourself a hernia.

All right.

Let's try this again, Herb.

Here we go.

All right? One Manhattan coming up.

Looks good.

The, uh...

Shit!

Oh, here you go.

We'll give it a taste.

How is it?

- Too sweet. - Still?

It's a Manhattan, not a Shirley Temple.

It should taste like getting mugged at gunpoint.

Just... I'll try again. Just let me run these out to the pool.

Okay.

Oh, boy.

Okay.

- Hey. - Hi.

- How you doing? - Good.

How about you? How you been?

I heard something about you going to school

- like, uh, to clean teeth. - Yeah.

Yeah, it's been going good.

Yeah, no shit. That's wild,