Inspector Morse

..making Arnold Hardy...

..then that idiot Dickie Bird gets his light meter out...

..can only have four wives, surely? The rest are concubines.

..they shall have to review what they had initially.

Very successful party, don't you think, Quinn?

Very successful party, don't you think?

Very, Dr Bartlett. Yes, very successful.

Excuse me, Mrs Height.

May l introduce Mr Christopher Roope?

I toId you there wouIdn't be.

My son does not deserve to pass an exam.

You look as though you could do with a breath of fresh air, Nicholas.

Philip... Philip, l must speak to you at once.

Please.

Bartlett is selling the Syndicate's secrets.

You're drunk.

No. No, l heard them...in there.

Roope and Bartlett and the Sheik. They're all in it together.

Good. WeII done, girIs.

Good time.

Are you all right, Donald?

Fine. l got caught short.

All present and correct, Dr Bartlett.

Thank you, Donald.

Not bad. 1 5 seconds outside our record.

Everybody inside, please.

Would you mind if l skipped your usual homily on safety and security, Tom?

l've got to get down to the press.

l think that the deputy secretary should be there, Philip, if you don't mind.

lf there's nothing important, Lewis, l might as well stay home, catch up on the paperwork.

Oh, yes. Yes, lots of it.

Yes, well, all right. You know where l am.

Cheers. Thanks.

Romantic clarinet concerto

Bloody Daedalus!

All change.

Hello. What's this?

The Dean of Lonsdale travelling second class?

Oh, Roope. You.

lf my publisher wants to see me, he has to stump up a first-class return.

There's money in physics, no doubt.

- Chemistry, actually. - Really?

There's none in palaeontology, alas.

What did you make of the party the other night?

lt was very satisfactory. The Sheik was delighted with the Syndicate.

l'm just on my way over there now to give some bumf to Bartlett.

- Can l give you a lift in my taxi? - No, thank you.

As a Syndic, l do think our president should travel in proper style.

l always walk to college, Roope.

- Looks like rain. - l have my umbrella.

Foreign Examinations Syndicate, please.

Hello, Noakes. ls Dr Bartlett in?

No, sir, he's gone to Banbury.

He won't be back till gone five.

Right.

l'll have a word with one of the others.

l don't think there's anyone else here, sir... except Mr Quinn.

lt'll have to be him, then.

Not there?

No.

He must be somewhere, sir. Car's still out the back.

Dear, oh, dear. The secretary wouldn't like that.

He's not supposed to leave his office with the filing cabinet open.

- Dear me. - All sorts come in here. You'd be surprised.

- We can't be too careful. - lndeed not.

I can't wait.

I onIy came to Ieave some papers for Dr BartIett.

It's not important. I'II Ieave them on his desk.

l was just going to make a cup of tea, sir, if you'd like one.

No, thank you. l must be off.

Thanks all the same.

- Shall l call you a cab, sir? - No, l'll be all right. Cheerio.

Bye, sir.

Symphony ln D

Hell!

Hello. Morse.

What?

What the bloody hell...?

Oh.

Well, where are you?

Right, l'll meet you there.

Excuse me, sir. Here comes the Chief lnspector now.

Who is it, Lewis?

LEWlS: A chap caIIed Quinn, sir. Been dead a good whiIe

by the look of him.

Works for the...Foreign Examinations Syndicate.

- Worked. - Sir?

Worked, Lewis. He's dead, isn't he?

Nice place.

They do themselves all right,

these academics, don't they?

Did.

ls Max here?

Looking at him now, sir.

Don't fret yourself, Morse.

He went quick enough.

Take a whiff of that.

Cyanide?

Well done, Morse. You're coming on.

How long's he been dead, Max?

Don't know. Four or five days.

Did it Friday night/Saturday morning, at a guess.

Shall know more accurately when we've been through the stomach.

- Anything? - No, just his prints all over the place.

What about on that bottle?

They look the same as all the others.

ls it all right if we move the body now, sir?

Mm.

Better go through the pockets. You do that, Max, would you?

Getting squeamish, Morse?

Oh, by the way...

..he wore a hearing aid.

History.

And what is his story, l wonder?

A note from his cleaning lady.

Might help us establish the time of death.

Nothing much here.

All right, take him away.

Shut the door, Lewis.

ls there a draught under that door?

Bit of a one, yeah.

That's funny.

lf l sat in this room, l wouldn't sit in a draught. Would you?

What's this?

- His shopping. - ls there a bill?

We might be able to establish some sort of time from that, Lewis.

Oh, and we'd better have a list of all the food in the house.

Fridge, larder, cupboards.

Everything.

Who's this bloke who found him?

Mr Martin, sir. One of his chums from the Foreign whatsit.

Chums, Lewis? You know Morse's Law.

There's always a 50:50 chance that the man who found the body did the deed.

Well, l was going to arrest him on the spot, sir, but l thought l'd let you have the pleasure.

You'd better check these pockets, too.

POLlCE RADlO: Tango 1-7...

Roger, 1-7. Stand by.

- Mr Martin, Chief lnspector Morse. - How do you do?

- Must've been a shock for you. - lt certainly was.

May l ask what brought you here to see him this morning, sir?

Dr Bartlett sent me.

The secretary of the Syndicate, my...our boss.

Quinn didn't turn up for work yesterday. When he didn't turn up this morning...

Why was no-one bothered yesterday?

Oh, well... Dr Bartlett doesn't insist on office hours,

as long as we get our work done on time, you know.

And what did you expect to find, sir?

l didn't expect to find anything.

l mean... l don't know.

l suppose l thought he must be ill or something.

When l looked through the gap in the curtains

and saw him lying there...

Yes.

Thank you very much. l expect you want to report back to the Syndicate.

- You mean l can go now? - Oh, yes.

Thank you for your help. ls that your car there?

Yes.

You don't happen to know if Mr Quinn had a girlfriend, do you?

l've no idea. l didn't know him that well.

He's... He'd only been with us three months.

No-one he fancied in the office?

Not that l know of.

But he was a bachelor, l take it?

- Oh, yes. - Are you a married man, sir?

Yes.

Then l expect you've forgotten what it's like to be single.

What do you mean?

Nothing, nothing.

Oh, l see. You're looking for a reason.

- A reason, sir? - Why he shouId want to do himseIf in.

Oh, it wasn't suicide, sir. No, no, no, no. lt was murder.

DefiniteIy murder.

- What are these examinations you run, sir? - O-levels and A-levels,

but for students in foreign countries, you see.

Don't these countries have their own examination boards?

The large, developed ones, yes, but there are many places - you'd be surprised how many -

where they're still grateful for the expertise and the status that Oxford can offer.

So you're a service industry, are you, sir?

We're of...very great service, if that's what you mean, lnspector.

Examinations are a matter of life and...

You see, in some parts of the world, passing our exams is the only way forward.

They can make the difference between abject poverty and extreme wealth.

We take our responsibilities here with the utmost seriousness.

lndeed so, sir.

Let me show you what l mean.

Question papers alone go through at least five stages.

For instance...

next December's biology papers.

First draft, second draft,

first proofs, first revises,

second revises.

Everything is checked and double-checked

for absolute fairness.

Our Syndics keep a very close eye on us.