Grace and Frankie

Remember this morning when our lives were approaching normal?

Vaguely.

I have a feeling I moved out of my house,

- had sex with Sol. - Yeah.

I still had a boyfriend.

Wow, it was an eventful ten hours.

Well, we're old. We have to pack a lot of shit into a day.

- I want a martini. - You say that a lot.

I mean it a lot.

Hey, wait! No, where are you going?

You have to wash the sand off your feet first.

Oh, God, Grace, we have so much more to wash off than sand.

Well, let's start with the sand.

- No, no, no! Drought, drought! - Oh.

You use this for the sand.

Is that my baby powder?

- It's our baby powder. - It's got my name on it.

So stop writing your name on our baby powder. Oh...

Hey, make a wish.

Good idea.

You too. Here, let me get one of your...

Yeah, no! No, you pull one and the whole strip comes off.

It's like pulling a thread, my whole face starts to unravel.

- But I wanted you to have a wish, too. - No, I'm fine.

Ow!

Think of it as an eyelash that grows out of your chin.

Oh, my God, it's huge!

How long has that been there?

How many times do I have to tell you? If you see something, say something.

I was going to, I wanted to, but I got attached to it.

You looked like a kitty.

- Oh. - Make a wish, Mittens.

So what'd you wish for?

I wished for a baby smooth chin.

- That's it? - Well, I couldn't think of anything else.

I mean, you were sitting there with your lips all pursed over your finger.

It was a lot of pressure.

Oh, what about that guy you were talking about?

You know, the guy that you sorta, kinda, mighta had a thing with?

Bill? Will. Gil. Alan.

Phil. No. Phil Milstein is not my wish.

He was... something else and that was a long time ago.

How about you? What's your wish?

Well, I was hoping you would ask.

Grace, today I wish to discover the real Frankie.

The Frankie without Sol.

I could be an entirely new person.

Maybe my fingerprints will change. Again.

- Maybe my voice will lower. - Hello, Grace.

- I've been working so... - Shh. That's my wish.

Shh.

- Shh... - No. Only I shush.

Robert?

Robert?

Oh, God! Robert!

You know what else I could be without Sol?

Taller. And I will have a totally new fashion sense.

I'm not dressing for him anymore.

Oh. I didn't realize you were dressing for anyone.

- Don't enable him. - Oh, sweet mother of teenage Jesus,

- it's him. - Don't enable him.

I'm not jumping every time he calls.

Do me a favor, will ya? Put that on vibrate?

Absolutely not.

Then I might be inclined to enable him.

- Don't enable him. Don't enable him. - Oh, that's...

Sol, she doesn't want to talk.

Oh... OK. We'll be right there.

No! We who? Not me.

Robert's had a heart attack.

Oh, come on.

Wait, do you think Sol told Robert about, you know, before?

- The candles, the bed sex? - I don't know, Frankie.

Do you think that's why Robert had the heart attack?

- Do you think I'm responsible? - I don't know, Frankie.

But I'm the one that told Sol he was a schmuck if he didn't tell Robert.

Oh, wow. Oh, you must feel horrible.

Dr. Gold, dial 2-1-1. Dr. Gold, dial 2-1-1.

Excuse me, the man in this bed said he was very thirsty.

- He can have ice chips. - When ice chips melt,

they become water, so why can't he have water?

He can have ice chips.

It's like talking to your mother.

Oh, God. Robert.

How is he?

- Stable. - How bad was it?

- They don't know. - Well, when are they gonna find out?

They have to do a test. He might need surgery.

- Oh, good Lord. - What happened?

I don't know. I walked in and he was face down on the kitchen table.

And you didn't say anything that could cause his face

to land on the kitchen table?

No. I came home to tell him, but I never had a chance.

Grace? Is that you, sweetheart?

- You didn't have to come. - Of course I did.

How you feeling?

I'm warm and fuzzy all over.

It's like I just came out of the dryer.

- Well, you're sedated. - And you're Frankie.

- Hi, Robert. - There's nothing to be afraid of, love.

Come in.

No, no.

She'll be right there.

Grace.

- He just saw you. You have to go in. - No, I don't think I can.

He's an... He's an Irish lawyer, for God's sake.

He's like a human lie detector.

I can't go in there and face gay Matlock.

Robert asked for cats for dinner.

You'll be fine if you just take it down a notch.

No, you take it down a notch. You're not the boss of my notches.

OK, take it to any notch you want.

You want me to go in there and lie for you.

This isn't for me, it's for Robert.

OK.

Mm.

Hey, you. I'm here.

There she is.

Honestly, you didn't even have to come.

Of course I did. Why wouldn't I come?

What am I? A heartless monster...

with no moral compass?

Forgive me. I...

It's Robert Hanson. Not Robert Handsome.

That's not a name for a person.

He had a heart attack, if you can search by that.

OK. I... Now you just typed in "Bobert."

You did. That's... What...

Oh, my God. Mallory, where the hell are you?

Right behind you. Hi.

How's Daddy? Does he need surgery? Is...

Still haven't taken him down for the test.

OK, so we can see him? Right?

Um, if she ever gives us his room number.

Room twenty-two-eighty-four.

- Thank you. - OK.

- Great. OK. - Not a people-person, are you?

I like that about you. Thank you.

Seriously, you were in bed at 7:15? That's how boring married life is?

It was family themed dinner. Tonight's like drama night.

- It was... Never mind. - That's really sad. OK.

You ready for this?

Nope.

- Where's Sol? - He went to get some ice for you.

What time is it?

- I'm so glad you're here. - Is he OK?

- He's getting ready for a test. - OK.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Hi. - Daddy.

- Hi. - Are you OK? Can I get you anything?

- Are you in pain? - I'm fine.

I just want to get outta here.

I can't believe this happened. We were just at your house like an hour before.

It's nobody's fault! Stop blaming yourself!

Frankie, you need to find a way to calm down!

No, you're gonna have to find a way to calm down

about me not calming down.

What happened, Dad? Do you remember?

I was practicing my vows. Then I was in an ambulance.

Girls, girls, don't hover. He's gotta rest.

- OK. Mom. - I know.

They're gonna find out what's wrong and they're gonna fix it.

- Goodness. - What?

You're a little meatier.

I may have gained a little weight.

Well, you can take it off easily.

You've got my metabolism.

Did my mother just call my sister fat?

Just aside from my father almost dying, this is the best day of my life.

- Thank you. - Look what I've got!

There you are!

Hi. I'm here to take Mr. Handsome down for a heart, um...

- cathe-ziration? - Catheterization.

And you need to know the last time he ate was six hours ago, not eight.

Is-Is that gonna be a problem?

And, um, are there any potential risks involved with these tests?

- Hello? - Uh, Marcus Welby,

- you're talking to the orderly. - I-I know that! I'm...

I'm just trying to get answers.

You know, like, where are they gonna put the line?

In the groin or the wrist? 'Cause the wrist is way more dangerous.

- Where is the doctor? - Does anybody work here?

I'm sure she'll be here soon. I'm sorry, Mrs. Welby.

Grace, the ER doctor said they're gonna put the tube through his groin.

- Well, good. That's better. - Better for whom?

Don't worry, honey. It's going to be fine.

I'll give you $500, young man,

if you get 'em to put the tube in my wrist.

- Don't listen to him. - Don't pay any attention to him.

- Six hundred. - Come on, Chubs. Let's walk with them.

And we'll take little breaks so you don't get winded.

Are you OK?

Me? I'm fine. I'm fine.

- You're the one that... - No. Shh-shh. Shh.

You're very Grace right now. I mean, there's a lot of Grace going on.

Well, that's better than lurking in the corner.

I mean, somebody's gotta be responsible.

OK, I vote for you. Go. Do something. Be responsible.

- I'm gonna go get us coffee. - All right.

- Calm down. - Oh, will you...