Ski Patrol

Cramer, Snowy Peaks isn't big enough for the both of us.

Then I guess we'll just have to deflate your head, Lance.

Ready,

set,

go.

We'll meet again, Cramer.

Gee, I can't wait. It's such a pleasure skiing with you, Lance.

Hi. Give you a push, ma'am?

Would you?

Sure.

Thanks.

Come on, Dumpster.

Come on. That's it.

Okay!

Look at you. Come on.

Hey, Jerry.

Hey! Come on, let's go.

We'll go over there. Come on.

Welcome back.

Santa. Girls.

How's business?

I hate snow.

Maris, I hope you didn't ask me down here to talk about the weather.

No, I asked you down here to talk about money, my friend.

What kind of money do you make at Snowy Peaks?

$200 a pop for privates.

How would you like to make 10 times that amount?

Maybe more. Here's a preview.

Maristown!

-My friend... -What do you want to do?

...I've got such plans for this valley.

Just another ski lodge?

No, no, no. That's penny ante.

That's dime a dozen. This is a major destination resort.

This could be the biggest money-making machine of all time if...

If What?

If Snowy Peaks is mine!

I'd love to dream with you, pal, but I got an 11:00.

Are you saying you're perfectly happy with Snowy Peaks?

There's nothing about it you would change?

Not the ski patrol? Not Jerry Cramer?

What's he got to do with this?

Well...

Everybody knows you two just don't get along that well.

You want him out of here and I want Snowy Peaks.

Two birds...

...one stone.

But you know Pop Sandrich will never sell.

He won't have to.

His 40-year lease with the park commission

is up for renewal.

And if he should have a couple of major violations,

oh, son of a gun, you know he could lose it?

Poor Pops.

Well...

I guess my 11 :00 can wait.

And, you know, what if Pops does lose his lease?

I just might have to make you prince of Maristown.

There won't be any room for Jerry Cramer.

Hey, old timer!

Old timer?

Boy, you're just lucky the doc says

no more skiing on these knees,

or I'd tan your hide in a run down K-7.

Glad to have you back, Jerry.

Glad enough to pay me the overtime you owe me from last season?

Well, I had to make sure you'd come back, didn't I?

Look at this place, Jerry. Look at it!

Don't open for two days and it's already jammed.

Hey, Pops, while I'm here,

I'm gonna run these up to the bar.

Yeah, thataboy. Take 'em up there. Yeah.

Hey, Pops, Stan gave me a ride over here

and I didn't want to ask him so I'll ask you.

Is he gonna try out for the patrol again?

Yep.

All right, I'll keep an eye on him.

Amongst other things.

That niece of mine is quite a woman.

See you later, son.

Do your stuff.

Wait a minute! Stop!

Oh, no, Dumpster!

He's not moving. Help me, someone!

Is he... Is that blood? What is that?

Jerry, I am so sorry. I didn't see him.

Is there anything I can do?

Well, you... You can just...

Hold me.

And comfort me all night.

-All night? -All night.

This dog does not need a vet, Jerry,

he needs a little black coffee. He is drunk.

And he was doing so well on the program.

You know, he's pretty cute,

but what are you hanging around with such a mutt for?

He's not a mutt.

I was talking to the dog.

-Hey, Stan. -Hey, Jerry. How's it going?

-Okay. -Hi, Dumpster.

What've you got there?

It's Thera-Band. It's brand new.

They're putting it in all the first-aid kits.

See? It stretches but it doesn't break.

I'm just using it to beef up my forearms for recertification.

I'm gonna make it this year.

Good.

Now that I can dance

Watch me now

Now work it out, y'all

Now, now, now, now, you are driving me crazy now, now, baby

Just a little soul now, y'all

Help me, Stevie!

Work it out, baby

You're driving me crazy

Just a little bit of soul now

Help me, Michael.

I do mashed potatoes

I can do the twist

Tell me, brothers

Can you moonwalk like this?

Eddie Murphy!

Come on, y'all, what you wanna tell me now?

Y'all are gonna tell me now. Come on.

Can y'all tell me now?

Do you love me now?

Do you love me now?

Do you love me?

Now that I can dance

Iceman!

Ice! Ice!

Jerry, what's happening, boy? What's going on there?

-Good to see you! How you doin'? -Nice!

Yo, tell me something, man, is that a perm or what?

Hey, man, it's natural beauty. Don't make jokes, all right?

-All right, it's cool. -Is that your new toy?

Toy? Toy?

$529.99 plus tax. Toy?

Look here, baby, this is my key to the top.

Let me tell you something.

After this season, it's goodbye Snowy Peaks, hello Caesar's Palace.

You know what I'm saying?

So, naturally, the Iceman...

Uh-oh.

Gang way! Clear out!

Four, three, two, one!

Here's Eddie!

Hey!

Welcome back, my boy!

Martinez! Martinez!

Martinez! Marti... Martinez!

Just because you're the explosives expert

does not mean you can just blow in here

in that hot rod, is that clear?

Hey, Myron, buddy!

I brought you something for your bullhorn.

Get down!

You crazy, man.

Look, the Ranchero!

A few more mascots than last year, huh, guys?

Yeah, what do you know?

They followed me from my apartment in New York.

I get no respect!

Uh, I tell ya, anybody got a cat?

Hey, man, you need... You need to work on that.

Same room?

Same room, bro.

Okay, come on.

Hey, did you hear what happened to me last summer?

I read about it!

Long as we don't have to test it on those mice.

Whoa! Whoa!

Damn.

Hey.

Man, it's 4:30 in the morning.

This is lame.

You know Murray.

Since he's director, he has to play everything official.

Yeah.

Hey, Ice, how come you're not complaining?

Ice?

Ice!

Man, you woke me up.

Man, I was just having a dream.

Me and Rhonda were just getting ready...

All right, can I have your attention, please?

Thank you.

It is with great pleasure that I introduce to you

your guiding light for the next few months.

Let's all say hello to our director,

Murray Tuttle!

What in the Sam Hill did I trip...

Whose dog is this?

It's mine. Handsome hound, isn't he, Murr?

Cramer, I hate dogs. I...

See, I am allergic to dogs.

Hey, but he loves you, Murr.

Get him out of here!

Now, every...

Everybody listen up!