Unhitched

Thanks again for dinner.

That place was great.

Really? My sushi was a bit undercooked.

- Is everything a joke to you? - Everything but eczema.

- My purse! He stole my purse! - Hey!

Hey, you OK, man?

Gator, what the hell?!

He's got my purse!

- You sure you're OK? - You don't look so good.

Just a little winded.

Do something! Call for help!

Yeah. We've got an emergency, south end of the commons.

Could you send an ambulance?

Make sure they pack extra oxygen. Thank you.

Season 1 - Episode 4 Mardi Gras Croc Attack

So how far did you Chase this guy?

Well,

It's not the distance that really matters. I was moving at quite a clip.

About 60 feet.

Man, you are one out-of-shape sack.

Hey, you know, at his last physical, his blood pressure was "oh, my god"

over "holy crap."

Hey, Gator, you should come to this boxing class at my gym.

It's an amazing workout.

Is It "foxy boxing?"

Yes, Tommy.

I go at it with girls, and we're all topless, and we're covered in baby oil.

I know what "foxy boxing" is.

Seriously Gator. You're a single guy out in the dating world.

- You got to stay in shape. - I don't know. Boxing?

You've got to put the gloves on,

you're all sweaty, then you got to take the gloves off. It's a whole to-do.

Hey, guys, how's it go.

What?

Did I catch the baby's head on that?

I'm sorry, pal.

It's fine. It happens all the time.

Stephanie called.

She thinks someone might be trying to break into the house, so...

I got like a few minutes. I want to know how that date was last night, T.

Who'd you go out with?

This chick Erika that I met at the car wash.

Sounds romantic.

Come on T, throw the married guy a bone. How was it?

Well,

not great.

We started getting into it, and she warned me that she'd never had a...

Three-way? Flying Horseman? Texas clam-bake?

No, she said she'd never had an orgasm.

Of course, I didn't believe her.

Did I tell you my sister got a puppy?

Beagle and cocker spaniel mix.

OK. It's not exactly girls gone wild, but I can make it work.

Yeah, I told you. I'm on my way.

Pal, I'm so sorry.

Look, you know what, Tommy, if it's any consolation,

I had something similar happen to me on my wedding night.

You didn't give doreep the big "O"?

No, no, I did. It's just...

This is so embarrassing. It lasted for merely

one hour.

- An hour?! - Yeah. Come on. Don't rub it in, OK?

I was really nervous, you know. It was our

first time together.

What exactly is disappointing about an orgasm

that lasts longer than a bus ride to maine?

Well, when you're accustomed to one that lasts as long as a bus ride to Canada.

What the hell is going on here? Seriously.

Lengthy orgasms are very common when you practice tantricex.

Come on, tantric sex?

That's just something that sting made up.

Sting. Yeah, he wishes.

No. Tantric, guys,

is basically the Indian art of conscious love making.

Fred,

you gotta teach me that before I see Erika again.

If you're going to teach him here, can you put down some news paper?

I'm not sure you have the discipline necessary, Tommy.

Please! I want to take this chick to maine.

- We all do. It's just... - No.

I want to take this chick to Canada.

Hey! Jab!

Left hook!

Upper cut! Right hook!

Good work, everyone.

See ya next time. And remember,

no class saturday. It's my son's bar Mitzvah.

Well?

- You're right. It's fun. - I told you.

Hey, maybe next time, you could say "cut me, Mick"

- a few hundred more times. - Hey,

who's the Million Dollar Baby ?

I don't know. Never seen her before.

- I think I'm going to talk to her. - look at you.

Cut me, Mick.

- It's funny. - Should I use it? No. OK.

Whatever it did, I'm sure it's sorry.

- I'm Gator, by the way. - Nancy.

Hey, Nancy.

Hey, would you maybe want to practice a little?

You know, work on some of the stuff we learned?

Sure. You and me or...

Should we get Morgan Freeman to narrate?

One of the key principles to tantra

is self-denial.

Between now and saturday,

there no "solo flights,"?

No "pulling a fast one,"

no "Starting the lawn mower," no "swinging the miniature Cricket bat,"

no "Five-finger festival of fun," and positively

no "giving the little Bald man the Heimlich."

What about...

Masturbation?

Also off-limits! Nice try.

Kate. Hi!

Emma. Hi.

Are you OK?

Yeah. It's just...

It's so weird to...

See someone from work completely

- out of context. - I know what you mean.

I once saw Judge Ruggles in the waiting room at my shrink.

Talk about awkward.

Yeah. Talk about it.

Boy, I just had a killer spin class.

- My hammies are so darn tight... - I'm so sure that I'll...

All right. We just met, so nothing below the belt. OK?

Good, 'cause I forgot my cup.

OK. Here comes my jab. Are you ready?

That was yours. OK

What do you got? My dead grandma could kick your sorry ass

OK. You know what, I'm not comfortable.

Why, 'cause you're a little girl?

Have a nice day.

So there's this senior partner in my firm.

And it turns out, she's the kind of person who likes to hang out

in the locker room, Buck Naked.

Aren't people supposed to be Naked in a locker room?

Yes, but you're supposed to get in and get out. You know?

I mean, if you're going to sit around and do sudoku, put on a friggin'robe!

It was just

up in my face.

All of it.

These Huge, Giant, Saggy Boobs,

looked like socks filled with pennies.

Really?

Tell me more about the money bags.

I'm sorry. Tommy has been practicing self-denial...

For like 46 minutes!

Actually 32. I got off to a slow start.

I'm sorry.

Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.

What? What?

You haven't heard? He hasn't heard?

You got beat up by a girl.

OK. Why did you tell them that?

Look how happy it made them.

First of all, I didn't get beat up. OK? She was taunting me

and hitting me. And it's not like I'm going to hit her back.

Right. Because it's not like you're in a boxing class.

It doesn't matter. My parents raised

me with this crazy idea that it's never OK to hit a girl.

Gator, that is not what it is.

You're just using any excuse to avoid a confrontation.

That's ridiculous.

Really? What about the big talk

about me crashing your place too much? When's that going to happen?

You might want to check your e-mail in the next couple of weeks.

My point is, I can take care of myself if I have to.

He's right, you guys. Come on. Just