Our Flag Means Death

Ohh, a pirate's life sounds just right

Sounds quite nice, I could say that twice

Sounds quite nice, we won't live long

Ful-lil-lad-dee-lil-idi-o

Smash and gouge and stab and poke

And choke you out, that's a pirate's life

Pirate's life, short but nice

Ful-lil-lad-dee-lil-idi-o

-It's your bet. -I know it's my bet.

Then bet. Why you always takin' long?

Fuck this! I'm out.

-Hey! -What're you doin'?!

I didn't sign up to play cards.

Weeks we've been out here with nothing to show for it.

I should have... 20 kills by now, at least.

Yeah, maybe Captain's tryin' a new kind of slow pirating.

On your feet for your captain!

What we're about to do will be perilous!

Very perilous!

Some of us won't be coming back.

Others may be wounded.

Still others may come back looking totally fine...

but in reality,

be mentally devastated by what they've witnessed.

So... if that's the case, what'll we do?

Anyone?

C'mon!

Something I've always encouraged.

-Bottle it up? -No, Frenchie!

-No, that's the worst thing you could do. -No? Sorry.

Other suggestions?

-Yes. -We talk about it.

Exactly. 'Member the rhyme?

"If someone returns from the raid mentally devastated,

"we talk it through as a...

-Crew. -...crew."

Because that's what we do here on "The Revenge."

Approachin' the vessel, Cap'n!

Right! This is it! Places everyone!

Look scary!

Ahoy!

Surrender! You have no chance of escape!

Yeah, that was a warning shot.

Now, prepare to be boarded, curs!

All right. No, just lift your leg up, Captain.

There you go.

Raid commenced!

Is it meant to be this shaky?!

Can you two down there just hold the bottom?

Keep it straight, if you can.

Thank you. My name's Stede.

I'll be your robber here today.

Fish, okay!

What's back here?

We're just fishermen!

What's this?

Some men are born to be pirate captains.

Others learn on the job.

Watch my buttons!

Me? Well, I'm a pretty solid mix of both.

Yes!

Tell them what happened here today!

-Take care of the plant. -Adios!

Good luck with your fishing!

Really fills the space, doesn't it?

Yeah... it's fine.

Now, where was I?

Being a pirate captain.

Ah, yes. Now, every pirate captain

captains pirates differently.

Traditionally, piracy is a culture of abuse...

floggings, keelhaulings.

And my thought is, "Why?"

And also, what if it weren't like that?

For example, if your average pirate doesn't steal, he doesn't eat.

That's a lot of mental pressure.

So I pay my crew a salary.

Same wage every week, no matter what.

Course, it took them a while to come 'round to the idea,

but I've included some amenities on the ship that I think will please them.

Rec center.

-Out! -What is this fuckin' game?! Fuck!

State-of-the-art en suite.

Non-humans.

The ballroom.

Jam room.

And, of course, a full library.

The crew is free to borrow books whenever.

So far, you're the only one to take me up on it.

Well, I'm the only crew member who can read.

That's not... Is that true?

All right, come on.

Here it is. The spoils of battle!

-Congratulations on today's raid. -Big wow.

I do have some notes, though.

Opening speech went well. Very inspiring.

Yes, I guess the big note is more energy!

We're swashbuckling, we're looting.

-Let's have fun with it. -Stealing a plant is hardly swashbuckling.

A feckin' disgrace, is what it is.

What was that? Who said that?

-Wee John, was that you? -And what it if were?

Well, I'd...

I'd simply ask you to reframe that criticism

as a suggestion.

What's one thing you'd change around here if you could?

Well, we don't even have a flag, for one.

Any pirate worth a damn has a flag.

That's true.

That's right. They have flags.

Now, each of you will create a flag.

And we'll vote for the best one,

and that will be the official flag for "The Revenge."

I'm not fuckin' sewing.

-That's women's work. -Black Pete, come on now.

You know that's not true.

How many of you sew?

-Be honest. -Sewed my shoulder up once...

after I'd been stabbed.

Did you hear that, guys?

Roach sewed his own arm up!

Sounds to me like sewing can be pretty tough.

So, grab a piece of fabric and have at it!

Express yourselves.

-That's very good. -Thank you.

-What is it? -It's like a flag extender...

-Right. -...so it flaps.

It'll blow in the wind? Interesting, okay.

-Do you like mine? -That's such beautiful material.

Well, don't you look holy.

Thank you. I used to make dresses with my mother.

And now, you're a pirate.

A lot of the guys are sweethearts deep down.

Hoy, hoy! Hey, hey, hey, hey! Break it up!

Swede, get off of him!

They're just dealing with a fair amount of trauma.

So, first of all, you should've asked,

and, second of all...

what could you do with your large bit of fabric?

Talk about it?

No, shared! You could've shared it.

Creative projects give them a chance to work through it.

And maybe even share a bit of what's going on inside.

Well, guess it's time.

-For what? -To kill Captain.

Hey, come on, mate. I'm gonna have to sew that up now.

Sorry... sorry.

If I can help this crew grow, as people,

then I've succeeded in being a pirate captain.

A word, Cap'n?

Oh, yes, Mr. Buttons.

What's on your mind? Everything good?

Everythin' is not good.

Mutiny is a-brewin'.

Mutiny?

Really?

Been on many a ship 'n the nose never lies.

-Stop writing! -Stop...

I mean it!

-Lucius! -Sorry, I'm confused.

You said to record everything, warts and all,

-so that's what I'm doin'. -Well, not this!

Just go for a walk.

You think Blackbeard's crew sews? No.

We were too busy killing.

Or drinking.

And when we weren't killing or drinking,

we were plotting or scheming,

or just, generally, being badasses.

You never sailed with Blackbeard.

Hey, could you pass the black thread, pretty please?

Cheers, me dears.

What is that? A cat?

The flag's supposed to be scary.

Yeah, cats are terrifying. Everyone knows that.

'Cause they're witches. And they've got knives in their feet.

Can we forget about the flags for a second, and focus on the mutiny?

Mutiny or no, we're gonna need a scary flag aren't we, so...

Look, the point is we should be pillaging!

The current management's gotta go.

Who's with me?

If we can light him on fire... I'm in.

That's one. Who else?

Hey, guys, so, Buttons told him.

Goddammit!

I'm still in, by the way.

Mutiny?

Really? I can't believe it.

Why?

I wouldn't take it personal. It's just that they don't like ye.

Or the way that ye do things.

I'm supportive, caring.

-Responsive to their needs. -See, that

may be what's contributin' to the poor overall impression.

What is the overall impression?

That yer weak... soft-bellied, yella.

-I see. -Craven, ill-equipped to lead men.

Understood!

Thank you.

What I'm hearing is they could do with more structure.