The Last Day of Retrograde

Hey, hi, good morning.

I don't mean to be that bitch, but I have to ask you to leave.

- Five more minutes. - No, sorry.

I really don't want you to meet my dad.

Fine.

I'll get up.

Hey.

You're pretty sexy.

So if my dad's in the kitchen, he'll want to talk to you.

I have a boyfriend, so be chill.

I haven't told anyone I'm drifting away.

So predictable.

Yeah, yeah. But you hear me?

Loud and clear.

Esmeralda! Top of the morning to ya.

- Esmeralda? - Just play along.

Daddy! Here I am.

Waking up for my busy, busy day.

Well, come on over here.

You know how I need hugs in the morning.

My beautiful little angel.

-Did you sleep well? -I slept fine.

My friend Brie from high school slept over.

Good morning, Mr. Pugliese.

Brie Swanson.

The Brie Swanson who won silver at nationals

for her project on ants?

Yep, that's me.

Well, how are you, kiddo?

Doing well.

Good for you.

I have to go to a meeting

with Johnson, Murray, and Smith.

Big time suck.

But hey, Daddy made us $2,000 this morning!

Woohoo!

Being a stockbroker is so annoying.

I get up at five in the morning,

talk to these jokers on the east coast,

then I teach students.

Brutal work.

I am late to a meeting with the provost,

so I'm just going to take one of these.

-Calm my nerves. -Have fun, Dad.

I know you can make another 2K.

Oh, thanks, Esmeralda. How sweet.

Mm.

Okay, all right, I am late to my meeting.

-Good seeing you, Brie. -Likewise, Mr. Pugliese.

Thanks.

Oh, my God.

I love songbirds.

Morning, Finn.

Can I drop you off somewhere? You live near Skylar?

Skylar? Like, high school Skylar?

Exactly.

-Mind if I have a cigarette? -Sure, go for it.

Skylar and I go back to elementary school days.

Did you know he wanted to be a gymnast?

An Olympic gymnast.

I know all about Skylar's almost career as a gymnast,

track and field star, boxer even.

Boxers are super sick.

You and Skylar seem to think so.

So Skylar's the boyfriend, I take it.

Bingo.

I hate living in Alma.

The train is always so loud.

Every day it's just--

I'll see you again tonight?

Sure, why not?

You ever wake up and it's almost like

you don't know who you're going to meet?

As if every day is a surprise

about how you'll present to the world?

Of course, baby.

Why are we stopping?

I need to have a cigarette.

Oh.

Bad morning, sweetheart?

Yeah.

Dad was being a pill and I didn't sleep much.

I had that nightmare again.

About Finn and his mom.

This morning felt different when I saw him.

He was so angry.

I'm sorry. I slept poorly, too.

All night, tossing and turning.

I woke up at 4:00 and sat in the bed until sunrise.

-Big day. -For the both of us.

If anything weird happens today with Christine Taylor Rose,

just follow my lead.

I have a backup plan involving Joshie, Katie, and...

Fuck, what's her friend's name? Ashley?

Augustina?

No, definitely not Augustina.

Definitely not Augustina.

-It's Cassie? -Right, Cassie.

Uh, they're all at school

so it should be an easy pick up if it comes to that.

- You ready? - Yeah.

Let's rock this bitch.

Okay, okay. I've seen enough.

How do I say this?

Your piece does not have

the je ne sais quoi

that is demanded of the Taylor Rose gallery.

Wait, were you trying

to depict...

teen suicide?

That's so terrible.

Thank God you two aren't parents.

Well, at least let's hope not.

Your piece reminds me of something you did at Paly.

Remember?

The one with the mud, the masks and the milk?

I like that one.

The black box did smell like shit after.

Exactly.

Good intentions,

poor execution.

This should be a theater piece.

I see that. It would have been better live.

Yes.

And the edits were sloppy.

A little haphazard.

As if no one knew how to edit a video.

My daughter is great at tech.

She's 19 now. Can you believe it?

She'd be a great editor.

She's going to Dartmouth in fall

for electrical engineering.

And she edits film?

A Renaissance lady.

Well, she hasn't really edited a film yet per se,

but she's very capable.

Very .

I want to show you something

I threw to get through this weekend.

Notice how she moves her head.

It's very important.

You're hurting me.

Oh, you're hurting me!

Oh, oh, you're hurting me!

Bite your tongue.

Bite, bite your tongue.

That's my mom, Ida, by the way.

Oh, there's Johnny in the back.

Unexpected, really.

Oh, you're hurting me.

Oh, oh, you're hurting me.

Bite your tongue.

Bite, bite your tongue!

Vocal and physical

wrecked.

You're hurting me.

Oh, you're hurting me.

I'm going to go back in there for color correction.

Ow!

Everything okay, sugar pop?

Does it sound like I'm okay, fat cunt?

What did I tell you about calling me that word?

Oh, Chrissy!

She is going to call you a cunt

just like I call you Chrissy.

Potato, potato.

When I was your age,

men would call me slut on the street.

Can you imagine?

Slut.

Not even pussy or lady of the night.

I get called a slut on the street all the time.

Everyone gets called a slut, Mom.

You're not special.

Mom?

I was thinking we can go to the theater tonight.

There's a great King Lear out of--

Oh, I don't want to.

Those daughters are terrible.

I want to read Jane Eyre.

You've read that book so many times.

What is it now, 100?

Actually, it's nine.

Time for my Ativan nap.

Water or wine?

Pick your poison.

-Water. -Water.

Excuse me, Christine. Is there something in the water?

Oh, I don't think so.

It could be my love.

Did you know that love

has a molecular structure?

If I were to say "I love you" to ice,

it's chemical foundation

begins to glow under a microscope.

Fun, right?

You said you wanted to see a theater piece tonight.

I did.

Well, we'll be performing

a commedia dell'arte-inspired piece tonight