2 Broke Girls

Last check Earl.

And my boyfriend Bobby will be here soon.

He's sleeping over again.

My boyfriend, Bobby, I mean.

You know that cute guy Bobby, my boyfriend?

Oh, I know your boyfriend Bobby.

You name-drop him like you're Gayle and he's Oprah.

Why don't you ever stay at Bobby's?

His place can't be worse than ours.

Unless he's what's living in our wall.

No, that's definitely a woman sobbing in there.

And I can't stay at Bobby's

'cause he lives at home with his family.

I didn't know Bobby lived at home.

Wish I could move back home.

They don't make Pontiacs anymore.

The famous Bobby lives at home?

Sounds like you landed a real winner.

Actually, Han, Bobby only moved back home

because his dad died last year.

H-E-double hockey sticks!

The one guy I take a shot at, ever,

and he's the freakin' Orphan Annie!

Hey, I'm Bobby.

I'm looking for my girlfriend Caroline.

You know that cute girl, Caroline?

My girlfriend.

Bobby. Now, where have I heard that name before?

Bobby, my boyfriend, stop.

Hey, before I forget.

My mom is throwing a party tomorrow...

- Shhh! - Are you crazy?

Bobby, never discuss a party in the diner.

If the people we work with,

and I'm using "people" in the loosest sense possible...

if they hear about a party, they'll come to it!

We had to learn Navajo

just so we could talk about our weekend plans

without them overhearing.

And then they learned Navajo.

Now it makes sense that Earl asked me for wampum yesterday.

Okay, so my mom is throwing this party at our house tomorrow.

You want to meet my family?

- (gasps) - I'd love to meet them!

Especially your mom.

It goes without saying, but she's gonna love me.

Why? Does she love people who spit a little when they talk?

I don't spit when I talk.

Nope, I saw it that time.

But that's okay.

Moms love me almost as much

as truckers love Max.

You model for one mud flap, you're made for life.

You're coming too, right, Max?

My whole family's gonna be there.

Caroline's whole family should be there, too.

Aww, that's so sweet.

Sounds good.

What time should I bring the sacrificial raccoon?

Oh, is it not a birthday?

You could hear from back there?

And through the wall in my office.

Can't wait for the party.

Can I bring a Jell-O dessert?

I have a new Pikachu mold I've been dying to try out.

Is it the same Pikachu mold that you came out of?

Ah, so, about this party we're all invited to,

is it open bar, or do we have to go through the cabinets again?

So what kind of perfume does your mom wear?

I need to know for when I tell her

I've always loved it

and can't believe she wears it too.

I don't know, but please don't wear it

if you ever want to have sex with me again.

Oh, uh, one more thing.

Don't tell her that I spent the night here.

She thinks I stayed at my friend Brian's.

She's kind of old-fashioned.

Can't be that old-fashioned.

She's cool with you sleeping with your friend Brian.

All right, I'll see you later.

I got to go help my mom set up for the party.

Uh, if I'm coming off as too much of a bad boy,

I can tone it down.

I'll be sure to do cheek kisses at your house.

So!

Is there gonna be weed at this party,

or can I make some money selling?

Max, it is really important to me

that Bobby's mom likes me,

which is why I hid your weed

and bought her a lovely gift to bring.

In lieu of gifts, I always just wear a low-cut shirt.

But I see why you had to buy something.

Look. (thick accent) Macaron.

Uh, you're maca-wrong,

'cause those are macaroons.

And I think I maca-ruined them

when I ate the filling out of 'em.

Wait, you're going to Bobby's mom's party dressed like that?

Are you aware your husband is dressed for a canoe trip?

I Google Earth-ed the house.

There's a pool at the house next door.

And a short fence.

Actually, the party was canceled.

I'm so sorry.

You'll have to meet Bobby's family

sometime never on.

Yep, party canceled.

There was a sinkhole.

Uh, still haven't found the house.

Everyone's dead.

That's horrible.

I pre-paid a sitter.

Oh, I guess we'll just hang out here then.

And since there's no pool...

Ahh! Okay! Okay, fine!

The party's not canceled. There's no sinkhole.

No one's dead. Come at 4:00.

Just please don't embarrass me.

Uh, I think that was directed at you, Max.

Awkward.

- Hey. - Hi.

We're here early, 'cause moms love promptness,

and our Uber driver was on the front end of a police chase.

You're gonna nail it. My mom's favorite show's "Cops."

Oh, I'm a series regular.

Oh, nice staircase.

You get along with the folks that live up there?

Uh, sometimes.

Depends how my sisters are feeling,

'cause that is still part of the house.

Wow!

You didn't tell us you lived in a castle.

Look at the TV and chairs!

You guys must've gotten this stuff

right after they laid it out on the curb.

Bobby, I found the program from your sixth grade play.

You were so good.

Like Leonardo DiCaprio.

Only not bloated.

Ma, I played a tree, and I still got booed.

Sorry, she likes to brag about me.

This is my mom.

Hi, Bobby's mom. I'm Max.

May I say you have a beautiful house?

And that's high praise, 'cause I've been in five.

And I'm Caroline.

Oh, that scent you're wearing

is my all-time favorite.

I sat on a deviled egg.

I hope you like macaron.

You don't think I have enough food?

I know this sounds insane,

but I don't know if she love-love-loved me.

Don't worry... she takes a little time to warm up,

but when she does,

you'll only notice a little difference.

Uh, Bobby... question.

How did you get Queen Elizabeth to sell you her throne?

Bobby, you only invited girls?

You knew I wanted a sausage-fest.

I did bring macaron.

You must be Bobby's sister, Denise.

I'm Caroline.

I'm Max, and I should have worn a diaper here.

Seriously, Bobby, if you never invite any guys over,

how am I gonna find one?

I'm not paying $9.99 a month

for you to be a slut!

Ma! Stay out of my business!

You treat me like I'm still in my 30s!

Well, if there aren't gonna be any guys here,

I'm gonna go smoke a J and do my jigsaw.

Definitely popping by Denise's room later.

Bobby, I can't explain it,

but somehow, when you stock the Tab in the garage fridge,

it just tastes better.

Garage fridge?

How rich are you people?

You know who loved an ice-cold Tab?

Jessica.

Ma! Really?

I specifically asked you not to bring up Jessica.

Oops.

Who's Jessica?

She's my ex.

We stopped dating over a year ago.

Dating?

You were engaged to be engaged!

I'm sitting, but I'm lying down.

She was the only girl I ever thought

was good enough for my Bobby.

No offense, hon, but look at her.

With that face, she could've been a dental hygienist.

She's on your wall?

Only to cover a hole that Denise punched in it...

when I broke up with Jessica.

Did someone say Jessica?

Who is that?