The Bowery Boys Meet the Monsters

Dirty goo goo!

What a short stop.

Oh, my window again.

There goes my profits for a week.

Maybe a month.

Here's the kid that broke your window, Louie.

I caught him red-handed around third base.

He ought to get 30 days in the electric chair.

I be woken in the recoils of the law.

After I spent three weeks teaching you how to place a hit.

He placed his hit all right.

Right on my noodle.

Can I offer to Skippy, Brian, or Goose a fast one in there?

What am I supposed to do?

Stand there with egg on my face?

What am I supposed to do?

Stand here with bumps on my head?

I'll take him to his mother, Louie.

Maybe she can pay for the window.

Oh, no. Mom'll whop me?

Now, wait a minute. Please, but wait.

His mother can't afford to pay for busted windows.

Skip it. I'll take care of it.

Okay, Louie.

You're the doctor.

Try capturing bandits the next time.

Thanks a million, Doc.

Do me a favor, Herbie.

Next time Skippy grooves one, bunt.

Sure.

Bye, Doc.

You can't trust those midgets.

Fellas, we gotta get those kids off the streets.

We gotta find them a safe place to play baseball.

Say, Slip, how about that big lot next to the Acme warehouse?

That'll make a good spot.

How, Louie?

That's right, Slip.

Before you both get to it, you'll have to be hysterical.

The Gravesends who own that lot have never

been indemnified with charitable projectiles.

Did you ever think of asking them?

No.

Because I could never figure out how to contact people as influenza as they are.

Slip, there's always a telephone.

Louie, that's a very fragrant idea.

Sorry, I didn't think of it.

Must be slipping in my old age.

Let's see.

Gravesends.

Gravesends.

Gravesend, G-T-R-E.

Grave, Grave, Gravesend.

Gravesend.

Gravesend residents.

Who wishes to speak to him, sir?

One moment. I'll see if he's in.

A Mr. Terrence Mahoney would like to speak to you, sir.

I don't know anybody by that name.

Don't speak with him.

We don't want to have anything to do with strangers.

I think I should find out what he wants.

Oh, Derrick.

That's all right.

Dr. Gravesend speaking.

Yes, what is it, please?

Well, Mr. Gravesend, there's a little matter I'd like to discuss with you.

It refrains to some of the little kids down here in the Bowery.

You see, I am what you might call um...

a...

a benefracture of humanity.

Yes, yes, go on, Mr. Mahoney.

Well, if it's all the same with you, Mr. Gravesend, this matter being highly

contagious, I think it would be better if me and my accomplice, Mr.

Jones, came out there to prevaricate about it and poison.

Contagious?

Prevaricate? I am afraid I don't follow you.

This guy don't even understand English.

Well, I'll explain the hard words when I get out there.

Just tell me, are you going to coagulate with us or ain't you?

Coagulate?

Yes, yes, Mr. Mahoney, I'll coagulate.

As you and Mr. Jones can call by at 8.30 this evening.

Goodbye.

Derek, are you out of your mind?

We don't want any strangers here.

Anton, do you know what this young man just told me?

He said that he was a benefracture of humanity,

that he wanted to prevaricate with us because it's contagious.

Well?

Anton, don't you see that any person who can mangle the

English language in this fashion certainly is no mental giant?

In fact, he may be just what we're looking for.

Yes, and he also may be coming here just to spy on us.

Oh, hardly.

At any rate, it won't do any harm to let the

two young men drop in for a moment this evening.

Young men coming?

How interesting.

Now listen to me, Francine.

Nothing must happen to these visitors.

Do you understand?

We must continue our work in deepest secrecy.

We must do nothing to attract attention.

Your uncles are right, my dear.

I'm afraid we'll just have to let them walk out of here alive.

Boy, it's dark on this road.

It's not a fit night out for man or beast.

What are you doing out then?

Very funny.

Thundering. I don't like thundering.

We'd better hurry up and get to that house or we're going to have to swim there.

What are you trying to do, Chivas?

This isn't a ditch.

Lightning?

I don't like lightning.

I'm glad I'm lightning-zigged instead of zagged.

Because if it's zagged instead of zigged, it would have zagged us.

It's a very nice speech, but would you do me a favor?

Just look for a sign that says Gravesend Manor.

Gravesend?

Gravesend?

Gravesend?

I don't like that name.

Look, they invited us out to their chapeau, didn't they?

Well, they must be very nice people.

Guess you're right, Chief.

Oh, you did a beautiful job on him, Derek.

Thank you, Anton.

He did turn out rather well, didn't he?

Uh-huh.

Now.

Oh, well, now you sneer all you like, Derek.

But believe me, in a few moments you're going to see Gorog walk.

This is the man of the future.

A creature of steel and wire and electronic circuits?

How can he think?

He will think well enough.

Now, watch.

Walk, Gorog. Walk.

What?

What did I tell you?

He walks!

Yes, and I tell you, he can't think. Look.

Oh, stop. Gorog, stop!

Steel and wires.

Look at that.

Oh, after all these weeks, I was so sure of success.

Anton, I've told you and I've told you, you're just wasting your time.

Perhaps if it had a human head...

Anton, come with me. I want to show you something.

Now you stay right here.

Stay right here.

My anthropoid is the answer, Anton.

My cosmos.

Isn't he magnificent?

Savage?

Uncontrolled. The strength of ten men with one dominant instinct.

To kill.

To kill?

But you'll be creating a monster.

Oh, not if he has a human brain.

Come here, Anton.

My tests have indicated that the ideal brain to transfer to cosmos...

...and one that will fit most snugly in his cranial cavity lies somewhere between.

...plus five and, uh, ooh, plus seven.

No more.

Oh, Derek, that's ridiculous.

A creature with a brain that small wouldn't

have sense enough to come in out of the rain.

Hey, Sach.

Sach!

What?

What are you doing down there?

Why don't you come up here and act like a man?

Because I ain't.

That's why.

Get up here!

Knock on his door.

Nobody home. Let's go.

If that was a one-room house, they wouldn't have heard you.

Use the knocker.

Okay.

Oh, I'm very sorry, sir.

Here, let me help you.

Thank you.

You're a gentleman and a scholar.

Oh, let me help you.

I'll get you out.

Don't worry.

I'll get you out.

I'll get you out.

Out, out, out, out.

Out, out, out.

Chief, chief.

If I may intervene.

Oh!

Mr. Jones and Mr. Mahoney, I presume.

You presume correctly.

Uh, will you step in, please?