Ms. Marvel

Finally, the moment everyone has been waiting for.

The final chapter to my 10-part series on Earth's mightiest hero, Captain Marvel.

Hulk smash.

This week, we're focusing on the battle of Earth.

Now we all know the story.

The Avengers were trying to save the world, but if we're being honest here,

they were losing, badly.

Alien ships invading, Thanos being a jerk about magical Stones.

- Our heroes were done for. - (GULPS)

Until...

Captain Marvel blasted in!

Now who was this glorious, well-coiffed hero?

Due to my extensive research and my diligent studying

of Scott Lang's podcast interviews,

who seems like a pretty cool guy.

I've learned a lot about Captain Marvel

and I know at least three things to be true.

One, she blasted through Thanos's fleet like a flaming angel.

And you know what? She looked good doing it.

Two, she, like, punched Thanos right in the face.

You're finished!

No offence to any of the other Avengers,

but I really don't think they could've done that.

And three, sometimes, someone can come out of nowhere and do something amazing.

I know some of you think, "Well, she abandoned the people of Earth."

But look, it's not true.

Obviously we don't know exactly what she's been up to.

But maybe she just needed a break, you know?

Can a woman just live, hmm?

Maybe we'll learn something new at AvengerCon this weekend.

I'm gonna be dressed as Captain Marvel. Obviously.

Anyway, that's all I got for this week.

Next week, I'm gonna kick off a special two-part series

on why I think Thor is secretly a gamer.

Remember, new episodes drop every Wednesday.

Be sure to like, comment and subscribe at Sloth Baby Productions.

Kamala Khan. - Coming, Ammi.

Hurry up. You're going to be late for your driving test.

Aamir, if you don't stop praying long enough

to put some food in your mouth, one day you will starve to death.

May Allah forgive you one day.

Kamala, please don't forget to

look at the mirrors every 15 seconds at least.

Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, Kamala, my Kamala, the road is a long and winding one,

so never fully stop at stop signs.

- Way too early for poetry, Abbu. - (YUSUF LAUGHS)

All right, listen.

You do know that you don't really have to look in the mirrors that often?

Yes, she does.

Listen, just make sure that the instructor can see you move your head, okay?

And remember to say Bismallah before you start the car.

You're gonna need all the help you can get.

Don't even have a license.

How about you start by turning the car on?

- (ENGINE STARTS) - (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Pull out whenever you're ready.

Bismallah.

Bless you.

I don't think anyone saw.

That's my car.

You set her up to fail,

having her drive in the street with all the other cars.

I have taught her to drive myself.

Ma'am, because of your daughter, I'm walking home.

Oh, come on. Are you trying to tell me

she didn't look in the mirrors enough for you and your clipboard?

I wouldn't say that's the problem.

Oh! - Then you'll also say that

you expected her to signal at every single turn?

Yeah.

- Choro ji. - Kamina kahika!

Give me my keys.

Okay, Kamala, come on. Chalo.

I'm so sorry that this family car, you know, that your father earned

with his very hard-earned money, it has seen a lot of trauma.

Hmm. I'm also sorry that you're not going to be able

to help me with all the things for your brother's wedding you said you would.

This is my fault. This is all my fault. These are my genetics.

I mean, I come from a long line of fantasizing, unrealistic daydreamers.

My mother was one.

Camelia, glad you're not bruising from that dodgeball incident.

Oh!

Why is she waving? That's weird.

Hey, guys.

I'm just gonna sneak in there and grab my chem text book.

We're in the middle of something. One sec.

I'll Google the periodic table. Yeah.

Rough morning all around.

Had a bet you were gonna pass, so now I'm out 10 bucks.

I told my mom to stop texting you guys.

Plenty of people fail their driver's test. Instructors focus on the tiniest things.

I crashed my car into his car.

Oh. That's on you. Yeah. Uh...

- So I guess we're not going to AvengerCon. - No, no, no, Bruno.

A cosplay competition for Carol Danvers at the greatest fan event of the year.

My costume is near perfect, pending the final flourish.

Still trying to think of that flourish?

- It'll come to me any second now. - Sure it will.

- I'm sorry. I really do love you. - (BOTH CHUCKLE)

Got any plans this weekend? As of this morning, Kamala and I are free.

No.

Are you inviting me to play Smash Bros?

- Because if so, I'm busy. - Don't hate the player, hate the game.

The thing is I do hate the game, though.

- (GRUNTS) (EXCLAIMS) Really?

- Sorry, Zoe. - It's fine.

I like your jacket.

Thanks. I like your necklace.

Thanks.

It's actually my name in Arabic.

Okay, see you later.

Would it be super weird if we asked her for a ride to AvengerCon?

- Yes. - Why?

Her mom used to drive us to school all the time.

Because she is the absolute worst now that she has 100,000 followers.

80,000.

(OVER PA SYSTEM) Kamala Khan, please come to my office ASAP.

You've done something very wrong. Just kidding. It is crazy that the

whole school can hear this.

No, nothing is wrong. I just wanna chat. Can't wait.

- PS, this is Mr. Wilson. - Thank you, Mr. Wilson.

- (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) - (SLURPS)

Okay, first off, I just wanna say

I get it.

You get what?

I hear you've had a hectic couple weeks.

Very funny.

But your teachers, you know, they're telling me you're doodling all day,

staring off into space in your little fantasy land.

Hey. (SNAPS FINGERS) Oh... Really?

We truly started the meeting 30 seconds ago.

- You gotta be with me, girl. - Yeah. Sorry, Mr. Wilson.

No. Mr. Wilson was my father.

My name is Gabe. His name was also Gabe. So, doesn't super-work.

But let's talk about you. In junior year,

it's time to start really thinking about your future.

I mean, college admissions are coming up, before you know it, it's SATs,

it's essays, it's applications.

Do you volunteer? 'Cause college admissions eat that up.

I mean, of course, do it to help people too, but I mean...

It helps. It does help.

Oh, no. No, I'm not...

You know I'm not trying to scare you, right?

Do I have to figure out my whole future before lunch or is there, like...

I'm gonna give you a task. I want you to go home.

Not right now, but after school.

Then you're gonna look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself,

"Kamala, who is that girl I see staring straight back at me?"

- You're reciting lyrics from Mulan. - I am, I am.

You are.

Okay, Kamala, all I'm saying is right now, I see a girl divided.

"Is she there or is she there? Where's Kamala?"

Who knows? No one knows. I don't even know. I can't see. Where?

And I know. I know fantasy's fun, fantasy's really fun.

But right now, I need you to pull yourself together and join reality.

You know, the plan was perfect. I was gonna get my license.

Then under the cover of stupid wedding errands, we just have, like,

one pure, beautiful day of freedom at AvengerCon.

- Guess there's always next year. - No, there's no next year.

This is the first one ever. And then future historians,

they're gonna start writing about it, and where does it start? Here.

Okay? There's not gonna be another first AvengerCon ever again. Never.

- Switch to the back-up plan then. - You have a back-up plan?

What's... What's your back-up plan?

In concept, it is pretty easy.

But it's gonna take a lot of finesse and subtlety on your part.

And you just aren't...

- I can be subtle. - You can be subtle?

Okay. Listen, you enter your home, you sit down at the dinner table,

smile, and you ask your mom.

- You're an idiot. - I'm not. I'm actually a genius.

So, can we stop acting like your mom is Darth Vader?

Every single thing I love, she seems to hate.

And it's like she thinks I'm some kind of, you know, weirdo.

You are a weirdo. Whoa!

What?

If I'm weird, you're weirder.

I know. But more importantly, I've gotten weirdly good at airbrushing.

I put the rest of it together, but okay.

- So... - You think we'll win?

Please. We're going, we're conquering.

And we're high-fiving in slow motion.

Bruno, I still need to figure out my final flourish for my costume.

- Any ideas? Okay.

How about steam punk Captain Marvel?

- Steampunk is dead. - Okay, fine.

How about a mashup? Like Captain Panther or Iron Marvel?

Ooh, Doctor Strange Marvel. I can, like, wear a cape.

Capes are cool. - Even Asgardian.

You know, be like a badass Valkyrie, ride a horse.

I can't build you a horse, but otherwise...

You can build me sloth baby wings. That's very me.

Completely you. Wings, a little tiara.

Playing here. - Captain Princess Marvel.

No princesses. I'm sorry. You know what's even better?

- What? - Zombie Captain Marvel.

I could be like, "I'll eat your brains. But I also have super powers."

Okay. Hey, let's never do that zombie impersonation again.

Hi, Kamala beta. How are you? Hmm? How was school?