Carol's Second Act

So then the von Trapp family makes it out of the theater

and crosses the Alps together to freedom.

That's what The Sound of Music is about?

That's crazy.

The main girl is in love with a Nazi,

and you're supposed to root for her?

No, no, no. The main character is Maria, the nun.

I don't get it.

This is why no one likes your generation.

I'm not staying there if there's a gas leak.

What do you mean, it might help me sleep? Just fix it.

Ugh, I hate my landlord.

Do you hate hairbrushes, too?

Yeah.

You look like a bird flew into your hair.

No shade. That's how I ended up with this cut.

I had to flee my apartment.

I didn't have time to grab my hairbrush.

Now I have to find another place to stay tonight.

Maybe I'll find an Airbnb, or call me crazy, a regular B&B?

A B&B? Don't stay at some weird old person's house.

Stay with me.

You'll have a bed, breakfast,

and nonstop access to fresh fruit and friendship.

Really? That would be amazing.

You can sleep in Jenny's old room.

I promised her I wouldn't read her diaries.

- But you didn't. - Mm.

If I find out how old she was when she lost her virginity,

should I tell you?

Lexie, she already told me. She was 26.

Having you stay over will be so fun.

I used to love slumber parties as a kid.

Oh, I was great at sleepovers. I always stayed up the latest

and put everyone's undies in the freezer.

Uh-oh. It's the party people.

You have permission to stay in my room,

and you also have permission to read my diaries.

Aw, you guys give the same permissions.

I wish I could join, first for the fun,

and second, I have to borrow all your pots and pans again.

What happened to your birthday pans?

I took them back to the store

and turned them into birthday earrings.

Have fun tonight, you guys.

You know, it's rude to talk about an event

in front of someone who hasn't been invited.

Oh, Dennis, are you jealous?

Course not.

But I swear to God, if you choreograph

any dances without me, there will be hell to pay.

This patient was admitted with cardiogenic shock.

We need to take his blood pressure in real time.

He's sedated, so we can insert the a-line. Observe.

Ah, yes.

The iPhone generation loves using the ultrasound

to detect an artery.

Nothing's coming up.

Well,

looks like it's broken again.

- I think you just need to... - It's broken.

- I think you just need to turn it on. - I'll handle this.

No ultrasound? But how are you gonna find the artery?

What if you miss?

Good thing I don't miss.

That's incredible.

He just inserted an a-line blind.

That's like putting in contacts with a foam finger.

The patient is stable.

Let's move.

Technology has become a crutch.

New doctors are not learning the clinical skills which have been

the foundation of medicine for hundreds of years.

So I propose, for the next few days,

we stay away from technology

and we practice the fundamentals.

Whoa. We're going acoustic.

Dr. Frost Unplugged.

Excellent repartee, Dr. Sommers.

Great idea, Dr. Frost.

Teach these newbies a thing or two.

Well, I think you could benefit

from the back-to-basics experience as well, Dr. Jacobs.

I can assure you, my skills are more than sufficient.

Well, I am excited to see them.

Oh.

Hey! Dr. Jacobs,

you're one of us.

I will never be one of you.

Carol, I love your place.

- Not as many tchotchkes as I expected. - Mm-hmm.

But about the right amount of throw pillows.

Yeah.

Well, after my ex-husband moved out, I redecorated a bit.

Give me a handful of throw pillows,

and I'll give you a home.

You really did win Teacher of the Year every year.

2001, 2002, 2004... wait.

- Where's 2003? -

It's in there.

"Teacher of the Year First Runner-Up 2003"?

Yeah.

Yeah, another teacher saved the principal

from choking on a tater tot.

It's all politics.

So, what should we do first?

Binge a TV show, paint our nails...

Oh, we could prank-call Caleb.

Ooh. I was planning on taking a shower,

but I haven't prank-called someone since junior high.

But we would need a landline.

Oh, you mean, like this?

Tell me it has a super long cord.

Oh, yeah.

The longest. I canceled my cable from the toilet.

- Carol with her hair down? - Mm.

I feel like I'm seeing James Bond in flip-flops.

- - Oh, did you order food?

No, it's probably Jerry.

Who?

- Hey, there, Jer. - Hello.

- Come on in. Meet my friend Lexie. - Oh.

Hey, Lexie. Nice to meet you.

Hey, Carol, I picked these from my tree.

I wanted to bring them by because I know

how much you like making lemon bars.

Oh. You are the sweetest, Jerry.

- - Wow, you sure are.

Carol, where have you been hiding this one?

Next door for the past 20 years.

You are so funny, Carol.

Hey, uh, while I was up on my ladder picking these bad boys,

I noticed your gutters were a little clogged.

I can clean them out for you tomorrow if you like.

I will pay you in lemon bars.

Deal!

I'll give you change in smiles.

- All right. See you later, Carol. - Okay.

- Always a pleasure. Hey, nice meeting you, Lexie. - Hmm.

Well, well, well.

Hair-down Carol has a gentleman admirer.

What are you talking about?

Uh, old Jerry? He wants to get in your gutters, girl.

He's just a good neighbor.

Carol, you're still wearing your marriage glasses.

What? What do you mean by that?

Uh, how long were you married?

- 22 years. - So for 22 years,

you were completely blind to anyone showing interest in you.

Because what was the point? You were practically dead.

But I'm not married anymore,

so how can I be wearing marriage glasses?

Carol, it takes time to break that long of a habit.

Jer is throwing love beams in your direction,

and your marriage glasses are blocking out the rays.

I can't see them because they're not there.

All I'm saying is I'm not exchanging night lemons

with my neighbors.

Jerry is a nice friend, end of story.

No. Jerry is in love with you, end of story.

Now, let's call Caleb

and pretend we're Jane Goodall and ask for money.

Dr. Sommers, nice job identifying

that positive egophony in a patient's lungs.

And don't worry, you two. You'll get better with practice.

A significant amount of practice.

Yeah, you guys.

When someone's lungs are clear, and they say "A",

it sounds like, "Eh".

But when they have pneumonia, it sounds like, "Ee".

Do you hear the difference? "Eh, ee..."

"Eh, ee,

eh, ee,

eh, ee, eh..."

- We got it! - Excellent.

Ooh.

Our next patient has dilated cardiomyopathy.

Who wants to learn a cardiac percussion test?

It's a conga beat.

Ooh. Muy caliente.

Let's go.

This is ridiculous.

We've seen two patients in the time

it usually takes us to see ten.

You know how I know this is pointless?

Because Caleb is good at it.

We are paying the price for Dr. Frost's technophobia.

Guys, this chest isn't gonna tap itself.

Let's move.

: Oh, this has to stop.

Thanks for letting me stay with you, but don't worry,

I'm going home tonight so you and Jerry can finally smash.

You know, I don't usually say things like this

to people who I care about, but zip it.

Why are you telling Lexie to zip it?

I was talking about Carol's boyfriend.

- Mm. How is Jerry? - Jenny.

- I knew it! - Oh, is he still bringing her love lemons?

Carol's got a man-friend? Oh, tell me everything.

No. He's not my man-friend.