Breaking Bad

Ándale. Mueve el culo, cabrón.

Ya voy. Ya voy.

Ándale! Ábrelo!

Did you want me to open the doors?

¿Qué estás haciendo? ¿Eh?

Here. The keys.

Take them.

¿Por qué me estás hablando en inglés?

Why you talk English, huh?

¿Qué?

No! No, no, no! No!

Ohh...

Ahh...

Gambling destroyed my life--

Me, my family, everything I loved.

It was like a robbery, only I was the thief.

It's amazing, the stories you tell yourself

to justify it--

The lies that lead you to just one more hand,

one more spin,

one more roll of the dice.

This is our deal, okay?

Marie, no.

You guys are not lifting a finger. I mean it.

Yeah, we're bringing everything, so--

This-- This is not up for debate, okay?

Great.

Now, sweetie, don't worry, okay?

We're not going to say one word about the bills.

We just want to bring everyone up to speed, okay?

All right. I'll see you soon.

Bye.

So...

tonight's the night.

No turning back.

Well...

Okay.

Let's do this.

Okay, so first I assign point values,

correlate to the effect of removal.

You going to split the 8s?

Skyler, please.

Now, the mathematical principle,

known as the Kelly Criterion,

upon which I devised my own strategy

not dissimilar to the MIT system.

Walt, you're not teaching them.

I thought you wanted me to be thorough.

Just play. You're taking too long.

What, you don't think it behooves me

to be able to explain any of this?

It behooves you to be a pro, that's all I'm saying.

That's the fiction, so chop-chop.

Don't chop-chop me.

Walt.

Now, we both know that the first decision

is whether or not to split or surrender on 8s.

Split 'em. Mm-hmm.

Good on both.

Next decision is whether to double down or not.

What you should be doing.

On 11, yes. Double.

Okay, this hand over here,

we have a soft 18.

The final decision is whether or not

is to hit or to stand.

Hit it.

Becomes a hard 15.

Dealer has a 9.

I see that.

Hit it.

Oh.

Okay, let's see what I got.

And 21.

Damn. Yep.

Okay, this--

The key thing to remember here

is that it's not about any one hand.

The key is the number of hands per hour.

Ooh.

Let's go again.

Zero, minus 1.

Okay.

Walt.

It's not as if I don't know how to play.

I certainly more than understand

how to count cards.

Let's just keep going, okay?

No, you know what? I'm in recovery.

Remember?

I shouldn't even be playing.

And that is the fiction

that we should be sticking to.

You know what?

You're right.

Yeah.

- Wow. - Okay.

Um, we're not leaving anything to chance.

All right, let's get started.

I've got a lot of, uh--

Walt,

we've got a lot of ground to cover.

What is this?

We have to get our stories straight.

We've got to be on the same page.

Is this a script?

Bullet points.

Bullet points?

Like a novella.

This is smart.

You really want to try to sell a DEA agent

some ill-prepared,

half-assed, full-of-holes story

about how we suddenly have enough money

to buy a car wash?

Am I supposed to memorize this?

We need to practice, Walt. Yeah.

We need to be word-perfect.

Within reason.

We need this story to be solid

and sympathetic

and most of all completely believable.

From a story that you already told Marie

and you think that she hasn't told Hank?

Ha! Come on. This is Marie we're talking about here.

No, she hasn't.

She hasn't.

Hank thinks his insurance is paying for everything.

Marie's not telling him

that we're paying his therapy bills,

and neither are we.

And why is that again?

Really?

If we have the gambling story...

Did you take money, Walt?

You remember Gretchen and Elliot?

Because I seem to recall

that you'd rather sell drugs than take help.

Fine.

Marie will tell Hank in her own time,

and at least we'll have laid the groundwork.

And coming clean with Hank and Jun--

Appearing to come clean

will be the best thing for everyone.

We talked about this, okay?

We agreed about this.

Yes, we did. It's just--

What?

Never mind. Just--

Okay.

So I really think

we should tag team the narrative, okay?

We'll each be responsible

for certain portions of the story,

and then we can, uh, we can hand off

so we don't leave anything out,

and it'll seem the most natural.

Okay, so I'm going to launch

with the exciting news

that we are buying a car wash--

Yay.

The next logical question

Hank will probably ask

is "Where are you getting the money?"

Hmm. To which I'll say

"We want to tell you the whole story.

"It's a doozy,

so hold on to your hats."

Do you like that?

Sure.

It accomplishes two things.

It keeps it light

while letting them know to expect something big.

Uh-huh.

Yeah. No. It's a doozy.

Hmm.

Okay.

Anyway, that's where you will take over,

starting with your diagnosis, pages 1 and 2.

Okay, and it's-- It's pretty much

going to run parallel to the truth,

which makes it easier,

but, um...

just make sure to really hit the cancer,

really touch on the fear and despair.

It's good to remind them

and to get their sympathy right off the bat.

We want them to understand

why you could do something so stupid.

Now, after that,

per pages 3 and 4,

after you say...

"Gambling became an addiction,

and I just couldn't control it."

Do you see that-- Yes.

Right there in the middle of the page? Okay.

Oh, and I put in that line about robbery.

You know, from the G.A. meeting?

I thought that was good.

So next I'll chime in