The Simpsons

D'oh!

D'oh!

-(game buzzing) -(Homer screaming)

Whoa! What the...?

Mmm, mail.

Oh, "urgent notice." Hmm.

If it's not final, who cares?

Donkey!

There you go.

-(phone rings) -(both giggling)

Ugh, if it's important, they'll call back.

Mom! Dad!

The retirement home lost its license

and Grampa has nowhere to live!

D'oh!

Oh! That man can't remember anything except our number!

Get in the car, Dad.

Look who's here, the big dummy!

You do know I'm a doctor now.

Yeah! M.D.! Major Dummy!

Grampa, what happened?

This place is unlivable.

My contract clearly promised "barely livable."

Yeah, well, we're closing down Codger Stadium here

until they fix up their violations.

And there are a lot of 'em.

Mannequin nurses.

Like I said, lot of violations.

Oh! I guess Grampa's coming home with us.

Unless...

what about that nice dog boarding place?

The really good one,

where they each have their own dog partner.

-No kennels! -You're right.

Bad idea, bad idea.

Should we just, you know, drive by

and take a look at the place...?

Bad idea. Bad.

When are your relatives going to be here?

Can I be honest with you? They're not.

We're all alone in this world.

All I have left is a phone message from my late wife.

Pick up the phone, big shot! I know you're there!

You're both coming home with us.

You mean it?

Mm-hmm.

Ah, just let me say good-bye to my girlfriend.

Don't get fat.

Honey, Grampa is the closest thing I have

to a father, and I love him, but three octogenoceroses?

Homie, Homie, we'll be old someday.

Speak for yourself.

Glug-glug-glug. Chomp-chomp-chomp.

Beep...

My lifestyle is my retirement plan.

Oh!

And don't forget my ripple.

You're not taking your ripple.

Without ripple, I never would have had you.

Ripple's your real daddy.

This is gonna be a swell flophouse, sister.

So, where should we park our pills?

What pills?

-Aah! -(laughs)

Don't worry, Marge. It's childproof.

Oh, oh...

Homer, how are we doing with those cots?

Uh... come on, boy.

Your job is to guide me.

Well, I really think you should watch your temper.

I mean down the stairs, you stupid kid!

Stupid kid? Do you really think

that's the way we should communicate?

You just want to see your old man trip and fall.

Well, sorry to disappoint you, lad, but...

What the...? D'oh! D'oh! Ooh!

Not what I was hoping for, but it'll do.

Okay, boys, shower up.

And I better hear some towels snapping.

Muntz, what is wrong with you?

Now, you get undressed in front of everyone

that's staring at you.

Is that women's underwear?

My mom can't afford to buy me clothes,

so I wear her hand-me-downs.

Muntz, there's a kind of poverty that toughens you up,

but this... is sad.

Hey, leave him alone.

I, too, know the pain of hand-me-down underwear.

My dad buys the underpants gorillas wear

during monkey shows.

So if you're gonna laugh at Nelson, laugh at me, too.

Simpson, I won't forget this.

From now on, you and I are as tight as whiteys.

-(yells) -(screams)

I've had it up to here with those freeloading wrinkle bags.

They pee all night, they cry all day,

and every time they use the computer, the font is huge.

Aah!

Dad, did it ever occur to you that we're learning

how to take care of you when you're older

by watching the way you treat Grampa?

Have you seen how he treats my grampa?

Never visits him.

Never even acknowledges his existence.

Your grampa's alive?

Oh, yeah.

Okay...

Well, can you please be nicer to our grampa?

For me? I love Grampa.

You may not realize it, but he's a treasure.

Keep it down in there, you jabbermouths!

I'm trying to watch C-SPAN2.

-Please? -Okay. (laughs)

You know, I love him, too.

In a manly way.

That never shows itself.

Now, we're going to need

three hearing aid batteries,

all different and hard to get.

And this has to be in the fridge, next to the butter.

And the butter has to be open.

Oh, I'll see what I can do.

I can handle them from now on, Marge.

Gentlemen, I've been thinking.

My glorious youth and beauty won't last forever.

Someday, when the leaves have turned

and the moon has broken apart into chunks of floating cheese,

I will be old.

What's your point, pound cake?

I'm hoping we can find a way to coexist.

What did he say?

He wants to see if ghosts exist.

Ooh, they do.

My Uncle Bill is here right now.

Oh, Bill, Bill, I'm so sorry

I wasn't a very good ladder holder.

That's all right. Enough about that.

Did the clock ever get wound?

This can only be good.

This family's had a lot of hoods put over their heads.

Uh, Chief, something about that looks fishy.

Aw, Lou, you got a suspicious mind, you know?

You remind me of that Elvis song.

Uh, uh, "Clambake."

You know, 'cause you open your yap

when things get hot. "Clambake."

All right, take off his hood.

-Where am I? -Our secret place.

The empty swimming pool from the country club

that closed down rather than let women in.

Now, enter the stolen bicycle graveyard.

We've decided to make you an honorary bully.

Bestow upon him

the necklace of unknown retainers.

Um... thanks,

but I'm not sure I want to be a bully.

It's too late.

You've seen our faces.

Wow, never had breakfast at 6:00 in the morning before.

I love yakking at the manager

while he's trying to unlock the door.

Now we'll talk about dead people you never met

while we get a little exercise.

When does the exercise start?

-This is it. -Yeah, we're mall-walking.