The Contract (賣身契)

You better start taping now.

Otherwise our superstar will be mad.

Yes, manager.

Ready, V-T-R, stand by, roll.

5 seconds, 5,4,3,2,1, cue.

"I often don't have much in my pocket."

"Caring nothing, I'm as free as a rocket."

"As long as I'm fairly fed."

"I stay optimistic and seldom fret."

"Don't despise he who gets tired of his girls."

"For love and mirages spin off from the same whirls."

Keep your shoulders leveled.

Leave me alone.

Blow it this time and you'll be fired.

Just watch it yourself.

"So help yourself to a cold beer."

"Sing your heart out in a song that cheers."

"To hell with your regret over past affairs."

"They'll only depress you and that isn't fair."

"It is my suspicion that in this universe."

"There's a god who governs the land we traverse."

"See through life's joys and blues."

"And take it easy even though you lose."

Who's that?

"So help yourself to a cold beer."

"Sing your heart out in a song that cheers."

"To hell with your regret over past affairs."

"They'll only depress you and that isn't fair."

"It is my suspicion that in this universe."

"There's a god who governs the land we traverse."

"See through life's joys and blues."

"And take it easy even though you lose."

"See through life's joys and blues."

"And take it easy even though you lose."

I'm quitting.

Sorry, let's do it once more.

Stop fighting.

It's you again, Johnny, take his place.

Have a cigarette.

Stand by for another take.

It's been a year and you haven't used me.

Give me a break.

I need someone to play the archer's target.

Manager.

Who should I send?

Anyone volunteers?

Let me have a try.

You? Come out here.

Reserve such jobs for me in the future.

Get changed right away.

- The archer's target, right? Right.

Thanks for the opportunity.

You can kill someone like that.

You can kill someone.

I'll sure be a dead man.

What'd you like to drink?

- Coca-cola. - Brandy.

They're pretty good.

Wonderful.

The 2 gentlemen at the back.

Will you hold up the flowers please?

Like this?

- See you at 9 tomorrow. - What?

Tomorrow at 9.

- What time? - Tomorrow at 9.

Hold it up. Higher. Thanks.

My sister and I can't make ends meet lately.

So we'd like to pick some pockets.

Will someone come up and help us?

Will... that gentleman help me?

That gentleman, come up please.

I won't.

This gentleman, come up please.

Come on, go up.

Welcome and thank you.

- What's your name, sir? - Kwang.

Mr. Kwang, what time is it now?

Is this your watch?

Yes, that was fast.

Have you brought your wallet with you?

No, I haven't.

But I have $1,000 tied with a rubber band.

See if they're still there.

Relax, I've got them back for you already.

Rubber band.

Where's the money?

See if they are in the pocket.

- No. - No?

This looks like your tie.

It is. You're really good.

Are you wearing white socks today?

No, I always wear black socks.

Are those yours?

Yes, they are.

Thank you, thank you.

You don't want your $1,000 anymore?

Of course I do.

Thank you, use more rubber bands next time.

Guru.

Have you been waiting long?

It's almost been three hours.

About the money, I...

Shih-chieh, you just come from Singapore.

I found you this nice job.

I deserve your first three months' pay.

I know, but I have to buy a lot of props.

I don't care.

I'll take these first.

If you don't pay me the rest tomorrow.

You better start packing up.

The door's over there.

You picked his pocket.

He'll kill you for that.

We have a mother to support.

Mail her the money today.

Guess who I am.

You have to be you.

All right.

I had a dream last night.

What kind of dream?

I was dancing "Hustle" with someone underwater.

That person wasn't me.

- Why not? - I can't swim.

Stop being jealous over a dream.

How's it coming, inventor?

Magician.

What is this?

Teach me a trick and I'll tell you.

Watch.

That's nice.

It's yours.

Frog, what's that?

My latest anti-thief device.

If a thief walks past this detector.

The laughing bomb inside will be triggered off.

And he'll laugh himself to death.

You can't catch thief with that.

This is my brother Chin-wen.

He's sad because he's out of work.

Go inside and fix yourself a drink.

I'll do that.

You'll pay for this.

That's a nice device.

It has a remote control.

Where's The remote control?

Where's my laughing bomb?

I put it in the robber's bag.

How do you work this?

Is this The police? A bank's been robbed.

Where are the robbers?

They should be at Oxford Road.

What are they doing?

They're laughing.

Let's go take a look.

What's going on, officer?

Evolution must have been gathering speed.

There are a lot we don't understand.

Yes, only God does.

May be.

You're pretty good.

Mr. Kwang is here.

Send him in.

Look, Mr. Kwang.

These are last month's ratings.

These are this month's.

We dropped by 1 million since you come.

You should know what to do.

Hear me out first.

There's no need for explanation.

What do our board of directors say?

- Guess how long will it take. - 6 second.

- You lose. - I lose.

- 2.4 second. - Yes.

Let me introduce our new manager.

Tell Miss Wang to come in.

I made Miss Wang quit TVC to work for us.

Her achievements need no introduction.

Her white hair tells it all.

Miss Wang, what can you do to our ratings?

5 million, that's slendid.

What policy will you adopt?

Whoever obeys me survives.

What are you doing?

Oh, 2 files were hit.

Hit right of their navels too.

Is this called Operation Iron first?

I wish Miss Wang every success.

Let me give you our ring of honour.

"Before you are born you first see God."

"Who will brief you on..."

Next, Mr. Yeh.

"Before you are born you first see God."

"Who will brief you on proprieties."

Cut. Next, Miss Li.

I know you wouldn't make it.

Your voice is bad and you sing like a hound.

Do you have a good voice?

I'm as good as Elvis Presley.

That's fate, you can't do anything about.

But that's not fair.