Miracle Workers

- T.G.I.F. Am I right? - You're telling me.

Been folding laundry since 3:00 a.m.

Got blisters on my fingers and bunions on my toes.

I tell you the king's horse kicked me in the head?

It's been a rough one, that's for sure.

Absolutely. It's been a rough week in the castle, too.

Wednesday's bath?

So tepid.

And don't even get me started on the lavender bath oils.

I mean, is it too much to ask for a spritz of honeysuckle?

T.G.I. bath.

Is that it? Is that the one you said?

I'd best get back to work, then.

Yeah.

- Oh. - Well, I mean, I-I think...

I think you have another few minutes on your break.

We prefer to just be done.

- Aah! - Oh, God.

I'm... I'm so sorry, Stan. I forget you were down there.

"Sorry"?

I see.

Lovely work, though, as always.

Damn it, I told you to kill Count Peter, not Friar Peter.

You know what? I can't deal with this anymore.

Just kill all the Peters.

Any Peter, just kill him.

Good morning, Lord Vexler.

Can this wait, Prince Chauncley?

I'm having kind of a tough day on the job.

As it happens, that is why I am here.

I've decided that I, too, would like a job.

You already have a job... heir to the throne.

That's not enough anymore.

I want to do something real.

Something I can take pride in.

I don't care if it's the humblest job in the kingdom.

Wowie.

This place is fancy-nancy.

So, uh, I assume I'm here to be tortured?

Actually, I was wondering if your business

was hiring at the moment?

Nah, I-I can't really afford to hire anyone right now.

I'm working 140 hours a week,

and my take-home's half a coin.

And that's not a big coin, either.

You know, usually it's one of the little guys.

Well, I have some good news.

I found you someone who will work for you for free.

Starting today, Prince Chauncley will be your intern.

Huh.

Does he have any shoveling experience?

Oh, no way.

He doesn't even know how to use a spoon.

I have to feed him soup like he's a baby.

So no qualifications.

I'll tell you his qualifications...

He's the king's son.

So no matter how badly he screws up,

you're gonna tell him that he's doing a great job.

And if you don't...

Got it.

That means you'll kill me, right,

when you did the neck thing?

- Mm-hmm. - Okay.

Just wanted to make sure we're on the same page.

- Thank you. - Okay.

All right, I hereby call to order this meeting

of the Lower Murkford Two Ladies Book Club.

This month, we're reading Virgil's "Aeneid."

Maggie, I "nee-id" to hear your thoughts.

Well, I "book" forward to telling you them.

And I also am here.

Look, Mikey, it's... it's fine that followed us here.

It's just that this club is really for people

who've read the book.

This is my one day off.

And I really... I just want to catch up with Maggie

and my reading and...

Yeah, I get it.

Great.

Catch you later, buddy.

Yeah. I'll catch you later, buddy.

So...

Agh!

Don't hurt me! Don't hurt me!

Sorry, friend.

We mistook you for a wealthy noble.

Release him!

Wait!

Who are you guys?

Us?

We're the Merry Band.

We take from the rich and give to the poor,

whilst living every day as an adventure.

Wow.

So you guys just hang out as, like, a whole group together?

You can join us if you wish.

- Really? Yeah. - There's just one condition.

You must be willing to...

Wha...

Wow.

Huzzah! Huzzah!

So, now we go and give it to the poor?

Nah. Now we call Jerry.

To buy drugs.

Yo, Jerry!

Got the same shit from last week?

- Yeah. - 5 coins an ounce.

Price is going up, huh?

Let me get a little taste.

Yeah.

Whew! That's good shit right there.

Okay, boss, tell me how it's done.

Yeah. I mean, the job's easy enough.

All you do is, you knock on the door,

shovel it up, collect the money.

That's it. You got it?

- Easy-peasy! - Right.

- Come in. - Hello.

Any notes?

Uh...

No. No.

That was good, what you did.

She's dead!

Oh, shoot. I forgot to collect the money.

Should I go back in and grab it?

No. Don't worry about it.

They paid... in their own way.

Yikes. We better boogie.

Yes, back to work!

Oh. Hey, Al.

Oh, hey, bud.

What... What's that?

Oh, um... Oh, it's nothing.

I'm just, like, kind of in a merry band now.

Merry band?

You mean those burnouts in the woods?

Mikey, that's a gang.

No, they're not. They're cool.

They sing and dance.

They've got one song, and it's terrible.

It's very repetitive.

They rhyme "merry band" with "merry band" a lot.

And it's all just very loud and sweaty.

Mikey, you... you shouldn't hang out with those guys anymore.

Yeah, well, um, I'll catch you later, bud.

I have to say, lunch tastes so much better

when you've earned it through a hard day's labor.

Here comes the wagon.

Neigh. Neigh.

Mmm. Mmm!

Well, I'm refreshed.

Ready to go.

Who is next on the route?

Frank.

He's a friend of mine.

Always been there for me. He's a good man.

He's got a wife and kids.

Oh. Well, I look forward to entering his home

and representing your business.

Listen, uh, the thing is...

maybe on this one, you don't go in there.

Why not?

Have I been doing a bad job?

No!

You've been doing such a good job,

I-I want to give you a promotion.

Oh. Wow!

Okay. Uh, to what?

You're gonna...

watch for bears.

Yeah. Here's what you do.

Take this stick, okay?

And I want you to walk about 50 to 400 feet behind me.

Be real quiet.

And if you see a bear, then hit him

with the stick and shout and... and yell, "Bear!"

This way, I'll know there's a bear, and, you know...

it'll play out from there.

I want you to know I do not take this honor lightly, sir.

To have earned your respect through my hard work alone...

it means the world to me.

I would not trade this stick for any gilded laurel.

Okay, great.

Bears, bears, bears.

What ho, good fellows?

Not good, man.

The shit Jerry sold us is stepped-on.

Oh, man. I'm having a bad day, too.

You know, I was walking to my house,

and I ran into my sister, and she was being so annoying.

She called you guys a gang.

Can you believe that?

You got a house?

Uh... yeah.

Are there valuables in there?

I mean, like, a couple.

- Why? - Let's go there.

To sing?

- Let's go there. - No.