Superstore

And while it is wildly unconventional,

there's nothing in the manual

against wearing a blue polo with a blue vest.

It ain't natural.

Okay, ten minutes is enough on this.

We still have a lot to do for our health and safety

inspection on Friday.

Marcus, can you please make sure your guys

store all the new inventory according to code?

Could we just have one day

without trucks to unload?

No... you work in a warehouse.

I'm sorry, that's your whole job.

- Fake apology... not accepted. - Okay, that's fine.

Glenn, you're our emergency captain, so...

Come on, Glenn... you, too?

Oh, no, I just have a really bad headache.

You know, the kind where your body tingles

all over and your lungs shrink...

Oh, my butt tingles when I sit for too long.

I'm thirsty. I'm gonna get some water.

Glenn, why don't you sit down

and someone else can get you water?

No, Glenn, that's not... you're... that's my phone.

Stop! Glenn, stop, please.

What... just go on with the meeting.

I'm just gonna have a little fall.

Glenn... are you okay? We were so worried.

But then Earl egged Sarah's car, so a lot of people

kind of moved over to that.

Oh, yeah, no, I am fine.

In fact, I'm not pre-diabetic anymore.

You're cured? How's that possible?

Oh, no I'm not cured.

I'm just completely diabetic now.

I bonked out because my body thought that I had

too much sugar in my bloodstream.

Agree to disagree.

But anyway, my doctor says I can manage it all

with just a few tweaks to my lifestyle.

Tweaks? You face plant

in the break room and your doctor prescribes tweaks?

Not bad, huh?

Looks like I picked the right doctor.

How could he not notice your patchy skin,

your weight gain, how your breath smells

like a Jolly Rancher no matter what you've just eaten?

Hey, Jerusha loves that.

Every morning she asks me to breathe into her car.

Okay... tweaks aren't gonna cut it.

You need to do a complete lifestyle overhaul.

I carried your baby for nine months and I'm not gonna let

her get abandoned the way I did.

It's not fun going to a baseball game

with your principal or learning how to skip stones

from a pamphlet you had to send away for.

I am not going to abandon Rose.

The Sturgises all live into their 90s.

We have kind of a deal...

Anyway, I'm gonna be fine. Hey, Masoud!

Guess who's not pre-diabetic anymore!

So they finally got the sprinklers working

for the inspection, but I didn't get home

until 3:00 a.m., and then Parker was awake...

I know, I'm so sorry. I tried to put him back down,

but I think he finds my stories too stimulating.

What is this?

I... I asked you to put up the Halloween decorations.

You said St. Patrick's Day.

Oh, my God, I'm sorry guys.

This is my bad. I'm really tired.

Can you please just make this into Halloween?

Come on.

I just got all this stuff out of storage.

I saw a bunch of silverfish.

You need to get more sleep.

Oh, my God, did you just come up with that all by yourself?

Are you a doctor? 'Cause I might just take a nap

right now, Mr. Sleep Doctor.

I know you said that with a nuclear level of sarcasm,

but I think you could actually take a nap.

Just in the middle of my work day?

You're ready for the inspection tomorrow.

I can't just take a... I mean, of course I want to...

Oh, my God, why did you even say the word nap?

I can now feel my whole body just shutting down.

No... I am not gonna take a nap. I'm gonna...

where am I going?

I was probably going to my office.

I'll just start there.

So you might be working with Dan the optometrist?

Weird dude.

I don't even care. They can hire me because

it's run by a separate company.

Kind of like with Dolly Parton and her husband,

who live under the same roof but never talk to each other.

- Right, like that. - But it doesn't matter.

These interviews all go the same way anyway.

I slay with the Q&A, it's electric...

then they ask for my Social and I go, "I don't have one."

Then they go, "Thanks, we'll be in touch."

Guess if they're ever in touch, Garrett.

It's pretty clear from the context.

They're not! They're never in touch.

How did Elias get locked in the storm shelter?

Uh, I think he went in there to sneak beans.

That's weird... he eats beans out in the open all the time.

It's not even locked.

- It's a Nap Attack. - Welcome to the Nap Zone.

Cheyenne, we agreed on Nap Zone.

You agreed on it.

- You guys... - Just a 15 minute power nap.

Look, I've recreated your ideal sleep scenario.

Okay so warm light,

one pillow for your head, one pillow to hug.

A laptop cued to the 11 o'clock news...

Oh, and here's my night guard, in case you need it.

Um... no, thank you.

Guys... I'm the manager of the store.

I can't take a nap.

Oh, come on. You need to recharge a little.

You don't wanna end up collapsing

in the store like Glenn.

Yeah, or, like, falling asleep on the toilet

with your underwear around your ankles,

so when we find you, it looks like you passed out

from pooing too hard, and then every time we look

at you we're gonna think, "Oh, my God, that's the lady

that pooed so hard she passed out."

Is that what you want?

No, I... I honestly can't say that I want any of that.

Mm-hmm.

I really do need it.

- Okay, I'm gonna take a nap. - Yes!

Yes! You just got nap trapped.

In... in the Nap Zone, right. Yeah.

What the... Hey!

Grilled chicken is on the list of approved

foods from my doctor!

The doctor that probably gets free vacations

courtesy of Big Chicken.

You're a vegan now.

I got you a kale salad from the café.

Dina, look, I appreciate your concern,

but I can take care of my own health.

There. Good as new.

Well you're clearly qualified and I've always thought

you were one of the coolest guys here.

You waved at me once, do you remember?

Yes, of course. Yeah.

I was like... and you were like...

Yeah, exactly. Yes, right.

Well, anyway.

You got the job. Can you start today?

Yes, definitely! I'd love to.

Great, I'll show you the ropes.

Oh, my God... that's just a figure of speech,

you know that, right? There's no ropes.

Got that.

Uh, don't you need my info, though?

Oh, whoops! How silly of me.

I completely forgot to do any sort of paperwork.

I didn't really forget.

It's because you're undocumented.

Oh.

So, you know.

Know what?

Did you see the... the wink I did?

Oh, my God. Thank you so much.

You really are doing a great thing for me.

I know. I read this thing online

about "white savior complex," and I guess that's me.

- Did you read the whole thing? - Wow.

Dan, the White Savior. Wow.

Wow, yeah.

- Amy... time to wake-y. - Hey, hey, hey.

She really needs this and we can cover for her, right?

Plus, you know, waking someone up in the middle

of a REM cycle can be very jarring.

I get it.

Bo's the same way with his soup.

He's always like, "I gotta finish this round of soup!"

Yeah, yeah. It's the same thing.

- Pretty good, right? - I don't know...

I'm not sure how often Amy stands motionless

with her face against the door.

- Oh. - No, no, no, no.

- Amy Sosa speaking. - What are you doing?

- Absolutely. - Is Amy in?

Uh, yes, she just stepped out.

Tell them you'll call them back.

She wanted me to put in a display for some

of our new hot sauces. Just need you to sign here.

I have you on speakerphone in my Volvo.

Just anything... an X, a scribble...

Uh, yeah. There you go.

Oh, stock market? A lot going on there.

- Hang up the phone. - Oh, hey.

I just need the keys to the storm shelter.

I like to call Jerry from somewhere private.