Mom

Previously on Mom...

I get a call today from this woman who's like,

"Is this Tammy Diffendorf?"

It was my aunt!

My long-lost, "never knew I had one" aunt.

I need... a kidney.

You want my kidney?

Want anything from the cafeteria?

Hi. What room is Tammy Diffendorf...

Egg white omelet with bacon and cheddar cheese.

You're getting egg whites,

and you're adding bacon and cheese?

She's donating a kidney today,

and I really want to see her before she goes in.

Losing the yolk buys you the bacon and cheese.

It's diet math.

Okay. Tammy Diffendorf,

Room 502.

Who?

It isn't too late to bail.

- Bonnie. - What?

She's giving a chunk of her body to a woman who lied to her.

I made a commitment. I'm gonna honor it.

That's very noble. The safe word is "I don't want to do this."

I know I wouldn't want to do it.

I'm scared just standing here.

There's, like, 18 different kinds of killer bacteria

- on this floor. - Jill.

I'm just saying burn your shoes when you get home, people.

Oh, my God. The most amazing thing just happened.

Cookie died, and I get to go home?

I met a guy.

I mean, technically, we didn't meet.

We smiled at each other.

But I feel like it's one of those moments people talk about.

Like when you see someone, and you say,

"Oh, that's the man I'm gonna marry."

Why didn't you talk to him?

I wanted to see Tammy before her surgery

'cause you never know.

Christy.

Special delivery.

- Aw, you guys! - You're welcome.

- They're from Cookie. - You can't prove that. Is there a card?

There is? Moving on.

Just put them over there.

- Well, that was nice of Cookie. - Mm.

And now if one of you does die,

at least you'll end on a good note.

Marjorie!

Well, maybe this whole thing

will bring you and your aunt closer together.

Oh, we're not even gonna see each other.

They're taking us to separate operating rooms.

Then I'll be rid of that woman forever.

If you don't want to seem like a coward in front of them,

just give me a wink, and I'll throw a sheet over you

and take you out through the morgue.

I'm ready, Wendy.

- We love you. - Proud of you.

- Was that a wink? - No.

Okay, it'll only be a few minutes until the OR's ready.

We're not supposed to do this, but...

I love you.

Why aren't you supposed to do it? It's so sweet.

Infection.

You're fine. You're fine.

Hello, sailor.

Come here often?

- Hello. - I want to thank you again.

I'm so grateful to you.

You're welcome.

With your hair back like that,

you look so much like your mother.

Were you also surprised

by how much they had to shave us?

All right, kidney.

You're solo now.

Really hope you aren't the Garfunkel of that duo.

Hey, ready to go?

Yeah, I just got to do one thing before we leave.

I thought Christy was coming.

She was right here.

Oh, God.

It's like Legoland all over again.

No handsome guy.

No handsome guy.

Whoa! That's a lot of blood.

Why would I do that?

So, your labs look great.

Your labs look great.

Your creatinine is a 1.1.

Don't let the other kidneys on the floor know that.

They'd be jealous.

Funny and a doctor.

Your wife is a lucky woman.

I'm not married.

Maybe I'm a lucky woman.

Go away.

It's me.

Oh, Tammy.

What a wonderful surprise.

I was just on my way out, and I came by to say goodbye.

Uh, how's she doing?

Well, she's peeing,

which means I really nailed it.

And just remember

your anti-rejection drugs have to be taken

at the same time every day for the rest of your life.

Isn't that a bit overly dramatic?

No. Same time every day like your life depends on it.

Because it does.

Are you trying to tell me you can't live without me?

I'll check on you later.

Hey. I'm glad you're here.

I was afraid that...

No, look, I just... Thank you for the flowers.

And I'm so glad the kidney's working out for you.

And, uh, I guess...

- Have a nice life. - Wait. Wait, Tammy.

Look, I know that I... behaved badly towards you,

and I haven't been able to make it up, but...

Well, you're part of me now.

Literally.

I'd love to have a chance to start over?

I don't know.

Oh, listen to me. "I want... "

"What I want... "

What do you want that I can give you?

- Do I really look like my mom? - Oh, so much.

And you have her hands.

And her laugh.

Wait, could you be more specific?

'Cause there are several laughs. Um...

A chortle, a chuckle and a belly.

Well, let's hear them.

Middle one.

Oh. What're you doing here?

Waiting for Tammy. Waiting for Christy.

Might also take a nap.

Just need to find the perfect angle.

And...

there it is.

Be a love and hit the light.

And the door.

Come on.

You can't tell me anything about sexy gurney guy?

Not if I want to keep my job.

Nerd.

There will come a time

when you will need something from me,

and I will not give it to you.

Okay.

Look who's here.

- Hey. - Hey!

Oh! I can't believe you're up and about already.

Yeah. Who knew pain pills could also be used for pain?

You should see her incision. It is so cute.

I took a selfie and put it up on Instagram

with the caption, "Just kidney-ing around."

Already six likes.

Ooh! Seven. Thank you, Jill.

By the way, if everyone's free Saturday night,

my aunt wants to take us all out to dinner.

Wait, you two are talking?

- Mm. - And wait.

Somebody besides me is paying for dinner?

You're not just "kidney-ing" around?

It's great that you guys patched things up.

Oh, yeah, they're best friends now.

Sorry, I'm busy on Saturday.

It's a steakhouse.

I will consider it.

She's the only link I have to my past, Bonnie.

And I'm having so much fun finding out stuff about my mom.

Like she was in a band.

Maybe that's why I love bands.

If you ask me, Cookie's working you.

For what?

She's already got her kidney.

Think she's gunning for her spleen?

I don't know. I just don't trust her.

My mom died when I was 16.

I swear we got back from the funeral,

and my dad never said another word about her.

Still won't.

I'd do anything to have somebody

who could tell me stories about her.

I wish there was a way for me to forget

all the stories I've heard about her.

You and me both.

Cookie, thank you so much for bringing us all out.

I'm getting lobster. I don't even like it.

I just want to make this meal count.

Jill's right.

This is a celebration.

Everyone should order

something really expensive they don't even like.

Modern medicine.

- What a miracle. - Yeah.