Spin City

And he saw that it was good.

Coming.

Hey. Hey! Hey!

Let romance begin.

I'm writing all my children's new character, and I thought he was going to appear

after we find out whether Dimitri or Edmund will raise Mattie.

I know we've only gone out a couple of times,

but when you said you wanted to come over and get a little work done,

I thought you meant you wanted to come over and...

Get a little work done.

How could you possibly make that sexual?

Oh, that's easy. I can do that with anything.

I'll take your word for it.

Will you take my word for it,

or will you take my word for it?

Will you help me with my new character?

Sure. Ah... Mick flannery, deputy mayor of New York City.

Lives for crisis, can handle anything his job throws at him.

Boy, this could be me if you mentioned dashing good looks and raw animal magnetism.

I love this guy.

O.k., due to the somewhat revealing hole in James' overalls,

casual Fridays has now been changed to casual Saturdays.

Mike, I was wearing underwear.

We're painfully aware of that.

You should make the move up to a medium.

Mike, I have an issue I think we should address.

Little old ladies.

O.k., and where do we stand on little old ladies?

I know a place in the village where you can pay them to stand on you.

I'm just tired of seeing little old ladies standing in the subway

while young people sit there pretending not to see them.

Uh, Paul, less talking... And more not talking.

I hate the subway. I'm so sick of guys

using my breasts to steady themselves.

Nikki, god gave you a knee. Use it.

Uh, Paul wants me to ask you

what you thought of his proposal

to have the mayor appear in a series

of live town hall meetings.

Mike says great idea, but after careful consideration,

he's gonna have to pass.

Uh-oh.

Paul, last time you said uh-oh,

all the trees in central park died.

Here's the thing. I may have inadvertently mentioned the idea to the mayor,

and I seem to recall a celebratory embrace.

Well, I hate to be the bad guy here, so... Show's canceled.

Finally, kudos to Carter and Stuart.

They went to a benefit last night.

They got their picture in the paper.

All: Oh!

"Carter Heywood and friend."

Ha! Friend is in quotes.

No!

What... what do quotes mean?

Quotes mean gay, James.

Stuart's been outed.

Am I on yet?

Shh.

Why, Mike, it looks just like you.

Mike, this is so cool! You're a TV star.

Let romance begin.

That's exactly what I said.

She put our date on TV.

Mick, if these lips are free tomorrow night,

maybe you can give me a tour of your... Apartment.

Ooh! Whoo! Art! Art!

It's a TV show. That never happened.

Just because she said that doesn't mean

I'm gonna have some wild sexual adventure.

I'm gonna need champagne and roses sent to my apartment.

What about breakfast with councilman nader?

Oh, cancel that. Mick is sleeping in.

Hey, Stuart. If you need any help

acclimating to your new lifestyle... Leave me alone.

O.k. First off, we're not a hostile people.

Stuart.

I'll see you later, sweetie.

Jeannie, I already told you I wasn't stalking you.

I was sketching your building.

I saw your picture in the newspaper.

I can explain that.

Shh. Now I understand.

Your relentless hitting on me was just a way of covering.

I don't know why I didn't think of it before.

Nobody's that desperate.

Really.

I think it's kind of sweet.

So now that you know I'm gay, you're comfortable with me?

Of course. In fact, let's go have drinks tonight.

Yeah. It'll be kind of a girls' night out.

Yeah.

That's a cute blouse.

Not too see-through?

No, no.

Sir.

Oh, Mike. Check this out.

I'm working on a move for my new TV show.

Now... When I answer a question,

does it make me look wiser if I take my glasses off like this?

Or if I put them on like this.

Oh!

I'm not sure if... if, really, if live TV is...

The best way to present yourself.

How about we write out a script,

we videotape it, and then we edit out all the unflattering parts.

You know, show the real you.

Oh, Mike, it's got to be live TV.

I don't know if I've ever told you this before, Mike,

but all of my life I've dreamt of being an entertainer.

The first time uncle milty appeared on that glowing tube in my childhood living room

wearing a woman's dress and a wig and makeup,

I felt... That could be for me.

O.k.

I am gonna need final approval over your wardrobe.

Well, Paul, congratulations.

Your town hall meetings are a go.

Yes! Yes!

Come on, Mike. "Yes" with me.

No.

I hate this idea.

There are 10,000 issues out there,

and the mayor can't possibly be informed on all of them.

Yes! But we're still doing it?

Yes! Yes!

I'm telling you, I got charts here,

a list of why this will work.

Paul, just a sec.

Stacey?

Code red.

Get out.

You know, if we're gonna do this code red thing,

you gotta come up with something

a little more subtle than "get out."

Hey, I stick to what works.

O.k. I got the flowers and the champagne all taken care of.

And here. A Dean Martin cd, just in case.

Just in case what, her mom comes with her?

Growing up, I was a sensitive boy,

and being so sensitive, the other boys would tease me.

About my sensitivity.

To be honest, sensitivity's what women

find so appealing about gay men.

About that...

How do I say this?

As gay as I am...

Being with you is so confusing.

Are you trying to say you're attracted to me?

Yes.

I want you, Jeannie.

Oh, but how can that be if I'm...

Maybe you're not.

Maybe we should go back to my apartment

and try to find out who you really are.

Check, please.

Mike, what's taking you so long?

Oh, come on. You got nothing to worry about.

You should hope this is on TV,

'cause you're gonna be great.

I fact, I can give you a hundred reasons

why you're gonna rule that bed.

You're cute, you don't rush, you put her needs first.

Mike, I'm getting lonely.

In a second!

Oh. And you do that thing

where you're kind of on your side

and you reach down and you... You should do that.

Go get her, tiger.

I should warn you.

Just because I'm a gentleman doesn't mean I'm gentle.

Oh, my god. I work for James Bond.

So tell me. How was it with Mick last night?

Drum roll, please.

Well... Not great.

Well, you heard her.

She said, "hot, great."

No, Mike, she said, "not great."

It was quite clear. We all heard that, right?

I heard "dot gate."

I heard "lot mate."

What does that have to do with being sexually inadequate?

Oh, god.

She seemed to be enjoying herself. I...

What, do you think she faked it?

No, no, Mike. Women don't do that.

No, Mike. You're the best.

I heard "top date."

Too late, James!

I believe the accurate figures are as follows.

During summer, there are 191 public parks open.

146 of them have either

kiddie pools or splash fountains.

And that's an increase of 30% over last year.

And that's an increase of over 30% from last year.

And that's an increase of 30% over last year.

Mike is gonna love it.

Ah-choo!

Bless you, Paul.