Advent

- After Hayley graduated, we stayed in touch.

We lived in the same neighborhood,

but it was more than that.

I genuinely liked her,

and she did these vlogs on urban legends.

- Look, Hayley, I've only got like five minutes.

How do I look?

- Constipated. Try to relax.

It's just for YouTube, right?

Yes, and action.

Hi, my name's Marcus

and I know a Christmas urban legend.

And tell them.

- Well, there are these advent calendars

that are evil.

Behind the doors are challenges, and if you do one each day

in the buildup to Christmas,

on Christmas morning, the devil will take your soul.

Something like that.

Marcus, come on mate.

Sorry, Hayley.

- Special episode today as we pick up

what may be an actual Krampus advent calendar.

Some dude in North London reckons he's got one,

and he seemed friendly enough.

Oh, I'm sure he was.

As she paid for it in advance on the deep web with Bitcoin.

So it's all for sure gonna be above board.

Whatever.

By the way, Charlie is still reeling

after reading on the deep web

about an offer for home vasectomy kits.

Okay, can I tell them

how much you pay for this calendar thing?

- No. - 500 quid.

I've got a good feeling

about it. - 500 quid.

- Anyway. That's what overdrafts are for.

What? Dodgy advent calendars?

It's a Krampus calendar.

Oh, Krampus calendar. Okay.

Search.

Yeah, there's nothing about it anywhere online.

You're being conned.

I'm not.

Found a webpage in German,

just need to get around to translating it.

- Okay, what's the deal with this calendar?

- Basically, you play a Christmas game

against the devil for your soul.

I'll stick with Twister.

Funny.

500 quid.

- Little bonus, after Dad interrupted filming yesterday,

you all started asking about him so let's go meet him.

- Is he gonna be okay with this?

No.

What's this?

For my YouTube channel.

Channel?

- Cheer up, Dad. He's such a grump.

What's it for then? A project?

Yes, sort of.

You eaten?

Not hungry.

- We should have some lunch.

- So, what have you been doing today then, Dad?

Tell my lovely viewers.

Started fixing the shed door.

Sounds super exciting.

What?

Nothing.

- You need to clean your room, Missy.

I'm 26.

- Move into your own place if you want to live in a pig sty.

Get a job. Earn some money.

Same goes for your lovely viewers.

Probably bunch of losers, I'm sure.

- Merry Christmas too. - And what are you

going on about Christmas for?

You even have a fucking tree up. It's November.

- How about I tidy my room if you get dressed for the day?

It's 2:00 in the afternoon.

How about you shave and sober up from last night

before starting on another beer?

Start looking for a job yourself.

- Showing off for all those who are watching.

If anyone is watching.

Look, just 'cause you got a shiny new camera

doesn't make you popular.

- I have over a hundred followers.

Over a hundred. Whoopty fuck.

And that viewers, is my Dad.

- Hayley never talked to me about her home life.

I just assumed it...

It was about as okay as you might expect

given the circumstances.

But there was always this sadness about her.

You could sometimes see it in her eyes.

It was only much later on I discovered

about her struggles with depression.

- You're genuinely not scared?

- No. Sounds fun though, doesn't it?

Having to complete the 24 challenges.

I mean, I wonder what they are.

Look, I'm a crazy bitch already. No mind to lose.

The only real crazies are the ones who buy into it.

And I've come across so many of those people.

- I am one of those people, but they're all full of shit.

- As much as I love you Charlie, you sort of are.

So you don't believe-

I'll believe it when I see it.

- No, you know what, Hayley? I believe it.

This is sort of freaking me out.

I'm gonna get off the next stop.

- Don't be such a pussy and stay on the bloody train.

Fine.

- Her thesis, which was actually very good,

was also on urban myths.

And along with the volunteer work that she did

at a local charity shop linked to mental health,

urban legends sort of became her thing.

- She'll appear if you open yourself up to her.

- Okay, so we say it three times.

Bloody Mary, bloody Mary, bloody Mary.

Well, this is where I hoped she would appear in the mirror

looking all puffed up and bloody-

Wait.

She might still appear. It's Halloween.

The veil is thin between the living and the dead.

Of course it is.

Shh.

The bitch has left us hanging.

Sorry viewers.

Nice mirror though.

You get the idea.

She wanted to prove everything

was a bunch of, you know what?

But Charlie believed in it.

He wanted to prove to her viewers that ghosts

or whatever else actually do exist.

- Wanna begin? - Nope.

Pussy.""

Okay.

Hi ghosts.

If you exist and wanna contact us,

smack Charlie across the back of the head or something.

- Hey, you need to be more respectful of the board.

Sorry viewers.

- Okay, just move the glass then, Mr. or Mrs. Ghost,

or transgender ghost, we don't discriminate here,

all are welcome.

Feel free to take your time.

Whenever you're ready.

Bueller.

Bueller.

Hope y'all know that quote's from the brilliant '80s film

"Ferris Bueller's Day Off"

- Stop taking the piss. - Why?

- 'Cause this stuff's not a joke.

Whatever.

You know what? I'm off.

Charlie.

No, my dad was a psychic.

All his friends - I know!

are all into this. They all know

how serious it is. - I know, I didn't,

I didn't mean to.

Come on, sit back down with me, please?

Friends?

Friends.

- I was just delighted that she'd found something

to take her mind off the incidents

of the previous Christmas.

It seemed like a breakthrough.

- I need to get home and hunt to feed Brewster.

- It's so creepy. A grown man owns a hamster.

You need to get yourself a girlfriend.

- So introduce me to someone then.

Raves have definitely happened here.

You don't have a number for this guy?

- Just a weird email that doesn't work anymore.

But he has my phone number, Skype, you name it.

- But how does that work?

- Didn't wanna give his info out.

You know, one of those private people?

- Well then, the camera's definitely

gonna piss him off, Hayley.

Where is he?

He said 5:00.

Wait, what's that?

- It is, it's the calendar.

Oh, it's beautiful.

It's massive.

Players must be age 16 and up.

You really don't wanna play this game.

Ooh, there it is everyone. One Krampus calendar.

Oh.

Caller ID withheld.

Guessing it's him.