The Tick

The heroic moment,

that pointy fulcrum in time

that either breaks your seesaw inhalf, -

or puts your ride

on the playground of justice for good.

The moment you first grok

the dangers that lie ahead

and take a stand

- against evil. - Huh.

Get him on his feet. Lock this down.

No one in or out.

Oh, my God.

You shot me.

You can't just shoot a person! Twice!

But look how the bullets flatten against the suit you stole.

I didn't take the suit, he did.

- Who? - He sa-said

it was gonna fit me and then he jumped out the window,

but then I didn't do anything for a while.

- I was just... - Who?

Who jumped out the window?

Him!

Unhand that precious balloon of hope.

Arthur.

You put on the suit.

You're the one that blew up my operation and my men.

I'm pretty sure it was all that reckless gunfire

that blew up your operation.

Yeah, it's like bullet Christmas with you people.

What are you?

I am the wild blue yonder.

Villain, you face The Tick.

- Mmm. - Huh.

Angry lightning lady.

The name is Miss Lint.

I don't get it.

You get this?

Great white taser tots.

Why won't you die?

I... don't... wanna!

And that's why you can't have nice things.

Watch out! She shoots glass eyes.

Let's get you somewhere safe, chum.

What? No, no, no, no, no!

Turn that off!

Okay.

Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit.

Okay.

Here we are.

I told you that outfit was a winner.

Two bullets point-blank

and high voltage, plus a three-story drop

and look at you.

You're as alive as a daisy.

Ramses wants to see you.

And I quit.

I'm on my way.

* Every time I want to, I call you *

* No need to control myself *

* And I wanted you to know *

* Yeah, that, darling, if you're lonely *

* You know what you gotta do *

* Yeah, all you gotta do is call *

* Yeah, 'cause whenever you need me *

* You know that I'd be there *

* You're my best friend. *

Yo, Stick.

Don't call me "Stick."

I'm being mean. We're on the oval right now.

It's being mean time.

We're on the same team, it's practice.

Yeah, practicing being mean.

Girl, where your game at?

It's my brother.

He's not answering my calls.

He usually responds to a text, but he's not.

Look, Dot.

I know you had to bail your brother out last night, right?

Wait. Correction.

You bailed on taking your big midterm last night,

and then you drove across the river,

and then you bailed your brother out.

Technically, I didn't have to bail him out.

They just signed him over.

Even they could tell he's a basket case.

There are so many dead bodies in my apartment.

What were you doing bringing Miss Lint

and-and the entire Pyramid gang down on my head like that?

Oh, I'd love to take the credit, Arthur, but that was all you.

You did all the legwork, followed the leads,

and struck villain gold.

What?

Have you ever seen a more beautiful alley?

Did you, uh...

You look kind of, uh, different.

Thanks.

You know, you stole their suit

and practically tricked me into wearing it.

What were you thinking, Tick?

Oh, I always let destiny do the melon work, friend.

Thought it not my area of expertise.

Goodness, no.

Now, what's the plan?

- What? - The plan.

When you didn't circle back to the fray,

I figured you must be pulling some kind of finesse move.

Well, I'm all ears.

Give me the skinny.

I don't have a skinny.

Okay, what am I doing? What have I done?

You just had your first super-villain battle,

and you look great.

Okay. I, um...

I'm wearing their suit.

Not their suit, your suit.

No. No, no, no, no.

No, no, no.

Whoa, what is that?

I don't know. You should try it.

I'm not gonna try it.

You try it.

- Hey, kids. - Wow. -Wow.

- It's Superian! - It's Superian!

Not everything that glows

gives you superpowers.

And no, that glowing ooze is not magic.

It's probably unstable industrial effluents,

or unnatural secretions.

Or how about plain old-fashioned radioactive?

It's probably giving you cancer.

- Ponchos. - Shh.

- Seems an odd turn. - Shh.

Just looking for the strategic value

of helping this establishment to restock

Shh. Its ponchos.

The city warehouse district was rocked

this morning by a massive explosion.

Oh, Arthur.

Grand theft poncho.

Tick, I need to cover this suit immediately.

But we can't be party to a pilfering.

It's not pilfering, it's paying later.

Hey. You are stealing?

No. This...

Look, we are not here to cause any trouble.

What do you mean, "we"?

- I need to borrow this poncho. - What?

- For, like, half an hour? - You cannot borrow a poncho.

- Please. Let me. - This is not a poncho library.

- I'm opening the poncho. - Do not open the poncho.

I'm going to call the police.

Oh, the police? -I'm going to speed-dial the police.

You pay organized crime weekly

to protect your store and you say nothing.

At least the organized crime is organized.

This is chaos.

- This is chaos. - Do not open the poncho.

I'm calling them now...

Oh, do not... Please, don't. -

Okay.

They're never gonna stop coming after the suit,

but maybe I can give it back to them.

Give it back? To crime?

Are you insane?

Oh, shit.

Shit.

Hello, Lint.

What's with the Hazmat guys?

What's with all the failure?

This isn't my fault.

Someone put heroes on the trail of that shipment

and I took the hit.

What do you want with all that shit anyway, Ramses?

You don't know the first thing about super-tech.

You know I think my issue with you

is you're just not a team player.

I mean, everyone else in the gang

got the tattoo, but not you.

No, not your crew.

Jesus. The tattoo again.

Yes, the tattoo again.

Kind of got my own eye thing going on.

Yeah, nobody missed that.

It's like you're looking at me with bacon.

I will never understand your obsession

with all this ancient Egyptian bullshit.

Ramses IV? You're from fucking Minnesota.

It is not bullshit, it is branding.

Branding is power. Do you not get that?

No, I guess you don't get that.

You get your ass handed to you.

I've got six other hitters out there.

I'll get your damn suit back.

I know you think you're better than us,

because you were The Terror's number one circus freak.

But he's been dead... a long time.

You work for me now.

And if you can't handle your obligations...

I have options.

Shit.