Parks and Recreation

>> SO WE'VE BEEN CALLED OUT TO HIS HIKING TRAIL

BECAUSE THERE'S SOME REPORTS THAT SOME TEENAGERS

ARE DIGGING BAGS OF DOG POOP OUT OF THE TRASH

AND HAVING DOG POOP FIGHTS.

>> I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

OH, MY GOD, IT'S REAL.

>> UH, YEAH, I'M NOT GONNA-- I'M NOT GONNA GO DEAL WITH THIS.

I'M LEAVING.

>> HEY.

HEY.

HELLO? BOYS.

I AM LESLIE KNOPE.

I WORK FOR THE DEPARTMENT OF PARKS AND RECREATION.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

COOL IT. OKAY.

NO! AHH!

THAT'S DISGUSTING. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NO! OH! HELP! HELP!

TOM!

TOM! AHH!

NO! AHH!

OH, IT SMELLS SO BAD.

OH! OH!

WHAT WOULD YOU THINK THIS WAS FUN? OW!

OH, REALLY? OH, REALLY?

OH, REALLY? OH, HEY, HEY.

YOU LIKE IT? BOOM.

OKAY. OKAY, HERE WE GO.

WHO WANTS IT?

HA, HA. WHOO, MISSED IT.

YEAH, OH!

ACTUALLY, THIS IS A LITTLE FUN.

THIS IS FUN.

OH.

*

OH, HEY, TOM, CHECK IT OUT.

NORTON CONSTRUCTION JUST SENT THIS OVER.

>> WHOA, MAMA.

>> I LOVE GREAT LAKES WINE.

>> YOU CAN HAVE THE WINE.

I WANNA TAKE THAT CHEESE AND DO TERRIBLE THINGS TO IT.

>> OH, DAH, DAH, DAH.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO THAT WE ARE NOT ALLOWED

TO ACCEPT GIFTS OVER $25 FOR CORRUPTION REASONS.

WE LIVE IN A FISH BOWL, AND THE PUBLIC IS ALWAYS WATCHING.

THAT'S WHY I GO TWO TOWNS OVER

IF I WANT TO RENT A MOVIE WITH NUDITY IN IT.

>> MMM.

>> YEAH, I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT.

BUT YOU CANNOT ENJOY THIS BASKET.

I'M SO SORRY.

SO TO AVOID TEMPTATION I'M GONNA LOCK IT UP.

>> WHEN YOU'RE IN THE GOVERNMENT,

THERE'S A MILLION WAYS TO EXPLOIT YOUR POWER.

HAVE I EVER GIVEN IN TO THAT TEMPTATION?

NO, NEVER.

I'M NOT THAT KIND OF POLITICIAN.

OFFICIAL PARKS AND REC BUSINESS.

I JUST NEED TO GRAB A QUICK HOT DOG.

SORRY ABOUT THAT, LITTLE GIRL.

YOU CAN HAVE THE NEXT ONE.

I HAVE A MORAL CODE, AND I NEVER VIOLATE IT.

PEOPLE LOOK AT ME AND THEY SAY,

"WOW, TOM, YOU ARE SO PURE.

"YOU'RE LIKE A BROWN SUPERMAN WITH A BEARD

"THAT JUST STANDS FOR JUSTICE AND TRUTH

AND THE AMERICAN WAY."

>> SO, ANN, I ASKED APRIL TO CREATE

ONE OF THOSE SOCIAL NETWORK INTERNET PROFILES

FOR THE SULLIVAN STREET PIT.

SO ARE YOU GUYS READY FOR THE DEBUT?

>> YES, CAN WE CUT THAT RED RIBBON

AROUND YOUR MONITOR NOW?

>> ABSOLUTELY. I LOVE A GOOD RIBBON CUTTING.

WOW.

OH, APRIL, THAT'S GOOD. KIDS.

>> HEY, LOOK, THE PIT ALREADY HAS SIX FRIENDS.

>> OH, YEAH, MARK. MARK'S A FRIEND.

>> WHOA, WHOA, YOU GUYS GOTTA SEE MARK'S PROFILE.

LOOK AT THE PHOTOS OF THESE LADIES ON HIS PAGE.

>> WOW. >> SICK.

>> MAYBE THOSE ARE HIS RELATIVES.

>> YEAH, MAYBE FAKE BOOBS RUN IN HIS FAMILY.

>> LOOK AT THIS LADY. SHE'S GOT A THONG ON HER FACE.

>> OH, MY GOD, HIS FAVORITE MOVIE IS DANCES WITH WOLVES.

>> OKAY, WE'RE GOOD.

WE'LL KEEP CHECKING IN ON THIS.

>> WHERE IS MARK ANYWAY?

>> ATTENDING YET ANOTHER MEETING

OF THE OLD BOYS' CLUB.

POLITICS IS FULL OF BOYS' CLUBS,

FORMAL AND INFORMAL.

BEHIND ME ARE ALL THE MEMBERS OF THE CITY COUNCIL

OVER THE PAST 30 YEARS.

AND EVERY DAY, AS A WOMAN,

I HAVE TO WALK PAST THIS WALL OF MEN.

IT CAN BE VERY UPSETTING,

ESPECIALLY BECAUSE OF THAT GUY.

NO MATTER WHAT DIRECTION I MOVE,

HE'S ALWAYS STARING AT MY CHEST.

HMM?

SEE?

>> WHAT ARE THEY DOING OUT THERE?

>> WHEELING AND DEALING.

DIVVYING UP THE EMPIRE.

>> EH, MY WIFE GOT ME THIS SHIRT.

SHE SWEARS IT MAKES ME LOOK THINNER.

>> IT KINDA DOES.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO? LET'S GO OUT THERE.

LET'S BUST UP THAT OLD BOYS' CLUB.

WE'RE DOING GREAT WORK IN THE GOVERNMENT.

WE DESERVE TO BE INCLUDED.

>> SURE, YEAH, I COULD USE A BEER.

>> YES, ANN, THAT'S GOOD. THINK LIKE A MAN.

APRIL, WE'RE LEAVING.

YOU'RE IN CHARGE, AND IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A WOMAN.

>> WHAT, DO YOU REALLY LIKE RED TAPE AND UPHILL BATTLES?

>> HEY, LESLIE. >> HEY.

>> WHAT IS UP?

>> I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S UP.

COUPLE OF LADIES ARE COMING TO BUST UP YOUR LITTLE BOYS' CLUB.

>> AWESOME. GLAD TO HAVE YOU.

GET YOU A BEER.

>> WE'RE IN.

>> HEY, I'M BRIAN. >> HI, BRIAN.

LESLIE KNOPE, DEPUTY DIRECTOR OF--

>> DRINK THAT. >> OKAY.

>> I'M ANN, EVERYONE. I DON'T WORK HERE.

>> ANN.

>> SO WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?

WHAT'S TOPIC DU JOUR?

OH, OH, OH.

DID YOU HEAR THAT?

THAT WAS THE SOUND

OF A GLASS CEILING BEING SHATTERED.

THE BOYS' CLUB IS MORE ABOUT SOCIALIZING THAN WORK, YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, YOU GOTTA LOOSEN UP.

I KINDA FEEL LIKE I'M ALREADY IN THE BOYS' CLUB.

I MEAN, LOOK AT THOSE BITCHES CLEAN UP AFTER ME.

>> SO IS THIS, LIKE, YOUR REGULAR TUESDAY NIGHT SCENE?

>> WELL, IT'S JUST A WAY TO UNWIND, YOU KNOW?

>> REALLY DIFFERENT FROM YOUR FRIDAY NIGHT CROWD, RIGHT?

>> WHAT CROWD?

>> YOU KNOW, THE GIRLS WITH THE TRIBAL BACK TATTOOS

WHO DRINK RED BULL FOR A LIVING.

>> OH. >> THAT CROWD.

>> OH, I LIKE THIS. THIS IS BANTER.

BANTER'S FUN. >> WHERE'D THAT COME FROM?

>> WE WERE JUST ON THE COMPUTER LOOKING AT YOUR PROFILE.

YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE A FRIEND WHO HAS A TATTOO

THAT SAYS "DADDY'S GIRL" AND BOTH WORDS ARE MISSPELLED.

>> OH, MIXING IT UP WITH THE BOYS.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA SAY? WHAT'S YOUR COMEBACK?

>> THOSE AREN'T REALLY MY FRIENDS ANYMORE.

I DON'T HANG OUT WITH THEM.

>> OH, BOO.

BRENDANAWICZ, THAT'S SOME WEAK SAUCE.

YOU NEED TO HIT HARDER.

>> NATALIE, IT'S YOUR SISTER.

PICK ME UP OR I'M GONNA DRAW ALL OVER YOUR JEANS.

>> WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL, PEOPLE.

WE'RE OUTTA BEER.

>> AHH, THAT'S THE CUE.

SEE YOU LATER, LESLIE.

IT WAS NICE HANGING OUT, YOU KNOW, AFTER WORK HOURS.

>> WAIT.

>> I THINK I'M GONNA TAKE OFF TOO.

>> YEAH, I SHOULD GO, LESLIE.

>> WAIT, YOU GUYS, LET'S KEEP THIS GOOD FEELING GOING.

IT'S JUST GETTING STARTED.

>> YEAH, 'CAUSE PARTIES USUALLY GET STARTED

WHEN YOU RUN OUT OF BOOZE.

>> OKAY, WAIT. JUST HOLD ON A SECOND.

I GOT WINE.

>> all: HEY!

>> AND CHEESE.

>> all: HEY!

>> WHOO.

>> GOOD MORNING.

LAST NIGHT IN A FOOLISH ATTEMPT TO INFILTRATE A BOYS' CLUB

I VIOLATED THE GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE ETHICS CODE

OF THE STATE OF INDIANA.

I HAVE ALWAYS TRIED TO LIVE MY LIFE IN AN ETHICAL WAY,

AND LAST NIGHT I FAILED.

I REALIZE I HAVE LET DOWN

EVERY FEMALE PUBLIC OFFICIAL IN AMERICA,

AND I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO THEM RIGHT NOW,

INDIVIDUALLY AND IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER.

MICHELE BACHMANN,

REPUBLICAN, MINNESOTA,

I AM SORRY.

TAMMY BALDWIN, DEMOCRAT, WISCONSIN,

I'M SO SORRY, TAMMY.

MELISSA BEAN.

>> OKAY.

DOUBLE SHIFT, REMEMBER?

SO I WON'T SEE YOU TILL TOMORROW.

ARE YOU GONNA BE OKAY?