Panda vs. Aliens

I'm going to destroy the entire planet.

You are mistaken evil one,

for Chen is here to protect

the kind citizens of planet Nuwa.

Chen, not you again.

Oh, every time I'm about to destroy this stupid planet,

you appear, you're a real party pooper.

You know that?

True, but only if it's a party of evil.

The goddess Nuwa gave me this magical medallion

to my grandfather, making him vow to use its powers

to protect her creations.

My grandfather passed this medallion down to my father

and he passed it to me.

Along with its powers, comes the secret charge

to protect Nuwa from evil.

All I want to do is destroy this world

and everyone who lives in it.

Is that so evil?

Extermination of all life?

Yeah, that's pretty much like the definition of evil.

I'm trying to think of something more evil than that,

Aussie, I got nothing.

That is terrible.

Nothing's coming to mind.

Small minded fool.

I'll wipe you off the map.

You can't wipe me off the map.

Maps are for places.

I'm a person.

Honestly, don't they teach you anything at evil school?

I'll catch you next time Chen.

The Great Chen, our hero.

Thank you Chen, our hero.

Marry me.

I'm just happy to help.

Thanks for tuning in once again

for the adventures of Chen

based on actual historical events.

Don't miss next week as Chen faces

the malevolent forces of the swamp beast king.

People of Nuwa, I will be here for you.

Cut.

Was that one good?

Nice Pandy, really.

But why don't we do just a few more just for safety.

Take 14.

Pepe of Nua.

Ah, I said Pepe.

Take 27.

People of Nua, forever will I be with you

to protect you here.

Take 29.

People of Nua, I will be here to protect you.

- Forever. - Forever.

Marvelous, that's a wrap.

Hey, how are my scenes?

It took 29 takes, which is better than 30 takes.

Can't believe he remembered.

That guy is such a joke.

Why do people like this show so much?

Bud, you were doing so well.

Yeah you know, it's the 10th season,

so I've pretty much got this on lock.

So locked in bud.

Hey Duke, as a writer, would it be too much to ask

for a little depth for me?

Depth, what are you talking about?

My script is so deep, lava could come out.

I mean, seriously, this line,

I'm going to destroy the entire planet.

Ha ha ha.

I mean, how can I say that?

Who says that?

Someone who's going to destroy a planet says that like

Sorry.

Wow, that was great the way you did that Duke.

I liked your ha ha ha too Bruno either way.

Either way.

You mean what you'd really prefer

is, I'm going to destroy this entire planet.

That was, yeah, fantastic.

Fine.

Just one problem.

No villain anywhere would ever say that.

I'm going to destroy this entire planet.

I never get tired of hearing you say that

and that laugh, it gets better and better.

The laugh is 90% of the job, son.

You try it.

Try like this.

Wait, there.

Not enough base.

Go lower, like this.

- Sir. - Not Now Samrott.

But I thought you'd like to know...

I said not now.

As your treasurer, sir,

I have to point out that this excursion has cost you

far more than we can possibly gain

by annexing this tiny planet into the Treksorian Empire.

Well then as treasurer, what do you think

would be a better use of our resources?

Well there's any number of uprisings in the core system

that could cause...

Uprisings are boring.

They're always over too fast.

Yeah dude, come on.

Rise up and down, rise up and down.

Where's the fun in that?

Where's the,

I have need Samrott.

I have to explore new worlds to reach untouched,

unchartered civilizations.

I understand, but if some of these quests of yours

could help the empire's bottom line,

we can make several improvements.

Speaking of improvements, I'm just not sure

my title as king is big enough.

It's not awful.

King is okay.

I just feel like we could go bigger.

What about supreme?

I was thinking beloved leader, president, prime minister

Karuph the Great Grand Poobah.

Your Highness, we really should move out.

What's the rush?

Well sir, we've mined the planet down to an empty shell.

Any minute now, it'll implode.

Final lesson son,

always leave the planet before you destroy it.

Don't fret my boy.

There are still plenty of other worlds out there to destroy.

So I see the Tom Cat Cruise.

Maybe it wasn't so much the jumping on the couch

that upset Orca Winfrey.

Maybe it was the fact she had to buy a new one

after her clothes tore up.

That story is getting so old.

So what?

I tell it so well.

- Yeah, totally. - Loved it.

I deserve better than this.

Get me an indie film, a commercial.

And here comes Charles.

Yes, that was who you think it was.

That's my point.

So stop talking to me and make some calls.

A little prestige.

Is that too much to ask?

Penny, I have some tiny script notes.

Hey, we can give notes.

I've got a note for you.

Stick to the script.

He said it was going to implode.

Just kind of deflated.

We could blow up that planet.

Which one?

What's wrong?

You love blowing up planets.

I'm just not in the mood.

I mean the death ray is already charged.

Two blazers with it.

Fire.

That was okay I guess.

Okay?

I mean the explosion was nice,

but there are no people to oppress.

No civilizations are destroyed.

It's not personal, you know?

I mean, when I destroy a celestial body,

I prefer to be teeming with life first.

Of course, that's slimy little bean counter

with write that I'm wasting more imperial resources.

Where is that dimwit anyway?

Sorry, your Highness.

You wanted something?

When I was a young Treksorian,

no one could command more respect than my father,

the Great Zaso.

The old man smashed me with a cro lack so many times.

I'm surprised I have any brain cells left.

Why ever since I was just a royal sprat,

I've been just Gaga for excessive violence.

Anyway, Samrott, here's the thing.

We need another planet to destroy.

But sire the budget.

We just talked about this.

I know, but look at my kid over there.

How many trips like this are we going to have together?

They don't stay innocent forever.

You're right, sir.

He is adorable.

Get it off, get it off.

Look around me, my pride and joy.

After all, my only son.

Surely your majesty has not forgotten

that he has another son.

There's also eldest, Crusher.

How did we get here Samrott?