American Dad!

Rain day! Rain day!

Today's the day we count the rain!

I bet it rained 1,000 inches last year.

Get real, Steve. Closer to 'finity.

Only one way to settle it.

Let's go to the gauge!

Hmm, that's odd.

I could've sworn this was where we installed

our professional rain collection system

exactly one year ago today to the day.

What are you two dummies doing staring at the fence?

Dad! You're drinking out of our rain gauge!

Steve, this is a yard-garita glass.

See? It has little markers

so I can measure how jacked up I'm getting.

You ruined our experiment!

Actually, it seems like I'm teaching you

a valuable lesson about leaving your stuff outside.

You should've seen all the gross water

I had to drink out of this thing.

Oh, so much sweet rain.

You always act like you're more important

than everyone else!

Steve, I act like that because I am more important.

I'm the big dog around here. Ruff-ruff!

Roger, back me up.

Stan, I'm pissed about the rain thing, too.

But yes, you are the big dog. Ruff-ruff.

You see, Steve, I cast a pretty big shadow.

So either get used to it or mosey along.

Maybe I will mosey along.

Maybe you've been holding me back my whole life!

Maybe I'll run away!

Sounds good. Send a postcard.

Address it to my shadow.

Mailman knows where it is.

Hey, Stan! Did Steve just run away?

He'll be back. He's a little pup.

He knows the big dog runs the show.

That's you, baby! The big dog!

Ruff-ruff!

- Big dog! Ruff-ruff. - Ruff-ruff!

Ruff-ruff! Ruff-ruff!

Uh-oh, is that the dog-father himself, Tuttle, I hear?!

That must mean the puppy pound can't be far behind.

Aah!

_

Man, we ran away to a pretty fancy boarding school.

Yeah, I wasn't expecting this much

from a place that let us in 20 minutes after we applied.

Room 237...

Our home for the next four years.

Holy cow!

Welcome to Pendlingtonton Academy, buddy.

This place is nice.

Usually, when I run away,

I'm in a children's pickpocket army within 12 hours.

- I'll make friendships here that'll last a lifetime. - You might.

I still keep in touch with some of my pickpocket buds.

- Uh, Steve... - I'll read Plato and Homer...

- Steve... - ...row crew with my best buds...

Steve! I think your experience is gonna be a lot different than that,

because Pendlingtonton is an all-girls school!

"Top of the Steve" is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

_

I wonder what our suitemates are gonna be like.

I bet one's a really smart, uptight girl

and the other one's a bad girl with a heart of gold.

Or maybe a super-boring girl

and an east-coast Mexican girl.

Or maybe a girl who's a hacker in a wheelchair

and then the other girl has, like, I don't know,

a huge ass.

So it's true!

They did let a boy into Pendlingtonton!

So, yeah.

No one's actually told us how that happened?

Yeah, why did they let him in?

It was a technicality! We're your suitemates.

I'm Spitz.

This is The Babe.

I have an actual real name, but it's not important.

All the girls in school are jealous

that we get to room with the "boy."

I don't care, though. I'm a lesbian.

I'm also prelaw.

So this will be a pretty interesting living...

- arraignment. - Ha ha ha ha.

Yeah.

I doubt people are jealous of you rooming with dorky old me.

Look for yourself!

It's the boy!

I'm so jealous you get to room with him!

Aaaaaaaaaah!

What is the meaning of this nonsense!

Steve Smith.

I knew having a boy walking around Pendlingtonton

with his little dick would be a distraction.

My office, now!

You're in trouble.

Where's Steve?

I got us two tickets to Tara-dise.

Tara Reid's illegal lion sanctuary.

Steve ran away to boarding school, remember?

Oh, yeah. Whatever. Steve sucks!

I-I don't need him to have fun!

So you guys are just doing books?

Yes! Thank God!

Something to get our minds off Steve.

Hey, Mister!

I heard your family could use a down-on-their-luck kid

with an unflappable spirit!

Unflappable?

I'm Spunky Rooster!

And I'm moving in!

A little cramped, but it'll do!

Well, you think you're pretty special,

waltzing in here with your technicality

and your little penis.

You keep mentioning the size of my...

I don't want you here, Smith!

Those cowards at the school board

were too afraid to stand up to you.

But I'm not!

But you can't kick out Steve.

I can and I will!

As soon as I figure out how.

In the meantime, don't expect any special treatment.

We're not getting you one of those boy chairs

with a hole cut out for your little wiener.

Boys use regular chairs.

D-Do you really not know that?

Geez. That headmistress is really gunning for me.

Relax, everyone I've talked to seems to think

your technicality is iron-clad.

Mmm.

Hey, guys.

What's wrong, Spitz?

I just professed my love

to the captain of the science debate team

and she totally rejected me.

Poor Spitz. Tragic, huh?

We're the only two lesbians in the whole school.

And yet, neither one of us can find love.

Wait, you're also a lesbian?

Cheer up, Spitz. You'll find somebody.

Now, let me see that smile!

Stop it! Stop tickling me!

There it is!

There's that smile.

What is happening here?

Steve!

My udon and meatballs!

The headmistress wants to see you.

You're in trouble!

Man, that girl was slippin' quick!

Good thing that conveniently placed

pile of cardboard boxes was there to stop her.

Whatever. It was a funny fall.

I'm not gonna overthink it.

Hey, Mr. Stan!

What did you mean when you said I was 'nnoying?

Does that mean I ask a lot of questions?

Is that what it means? 'Nnoying?

Does that mean to ask too many questions?

Yes, Spunky.

Was it 'nnoying when I nursed that bird back to health

and then he ate all your important biz-a-ness papers?

Everything you've done since you showed up has been "'nnoying."

That bus driver you brought home to dinner.

When you pretended the living room was the bottom of the ocean.

I've been "'nnoyed" by all of it.

But as long as you're here, let's do something fun.

Make bisghetti or gazagna?

Shut up. No.

I'm gonna beat you at Horse.

Steve used to love it when I whipped his ass at Horse.

I never played bus-kit-ball!

But I'll try!

From the car, bounce it off the ground,

to the backboard, then jump down,

and catch it mid-air

for an eyes-closed backwards layup!

Whoa! Today must be my lucky day!

What the hell? That was, like, top five all-time...

- Just bounce it off the ground... - I saw!

Oopsies!

That's an "H," Mr. S!

Come in, Steve!

I didn't even knock.

Oh, I could hear your little pecker

swinging to and fro all the way down the hall.

Clanging against your thighs like a church bell.

I did a little digging into your "technicality," Smith.

And I found something very interesting.

The technicality has a clause!

The technicality has a clause?

That's right, and it states that a boy