Nippy

(APM'S HARVEST SANDALWOOD PLAYS)

Oh, come on, you...

Can I gave you a hand?

If I needed a hand, I'd ask for it,

thank you very much.

There you go, miss. Thanks.

Marion. How's it going?

Eh. Could be worse. Brain's still working.

Is it a pastrami day?

Yeah. Uh, one and a quarter pounds.

You got it.

Not a pound and a half, you overshot last time.

Oh. Sorry 'bout that.

What do we have here?

Extra-sharp Wisconsin cheddar.

"Extra-sharp," hmm?

Ohh. (SPITS)

You can keep it, Wisconsin. Ugh.

It wasn't like this when I came before.

Need some help?

I'm fine!

Are you sure you don't want a push?

I'm sure.

What happened to poor Nippy?

Ah. It was my fault.

I was driving with the windows open,

you know, before all this hit.

And, I don't know, something got into him.

He saw a cat or something, but he jumped.

Oh, no.

I pulled right over, screaming my head off, "Nippy!"

Ohh. But he was gone.

Oh, that's terrible.

I hope you find him.

If you could keep an eye out.

Yeah, I will. Sure.

I-I live right over here on... On Clementine.

This is my route.

When I can get this thing going.

Maybe just a little push.

Well, if you're sure you don't mind.

Nah. I'm happy to help.

Okay. Throw it in neutral.

And one, two, three.

There you go.

Oh, sorry for the trouble.

Put it back in drive. Not at all.

Have a nice day. Yeah, you too.

Hope you find Nippy.

Thank you.

Ohh. What in the world?

How ya doing, Marion?

Great. Ah, good.

Are you okay? Oh, yeah.

(CHILDREN TALKING INDISTINCTLY IN DISTANCE)

Okay, okay, okay.

Actually, it's my favorite meal to cook.

Hmm. I like it. And I think my secret is...

Ma?

In the kitchen, Jeffie!

I have a little trick.

I bet it's the same we do in my family.

An egg. I knew it.

(CHUCKLES) And you really work it in.

I mean, you got to use your hands.

You are speaking my language.

Do you cook?

Uh, just a few favorites, nothing fancy.

Yeah, simple's best. I mean, why fuss?

Oh. Jeffie, this is Mr. Takavic.

Oh, please, Mr. Takavic was my father.

Call me Gene.

Don't worry, hon, he's not an ax murderer.

If he was gonna chop me to bits

he'd have done it already.

Right, Gene?

Well, don't just stand there like a bump on a log, join us.

Sometimes he gets a little nervous around new people.

Ma... Well, you do.

Now come on.

Grab a glass and sit down.

(JEFF SIGHS, CLEARS THROAT)

Tell him how we met, Gene.

Oh, yeah.

Uh, well, I was looking for Nippy...

Yeah. His dog, poor thing.

Well, he ran away.

And Gene here was putting up posters.

And your mom was on her way back from Hansen's.

And my wheels got stuck in the snow.

Well, that was before the whole thing conked out.

Yeah, but Gene here saved the day.

He even fixed my dumb scooter...

With duct tape!

Ah.

To Gene. Come on.

Yeah. Ahh...

Mm.

So your mom tells me

you're a cab driver?

Have you ever driven anyone famous?

Oh, he sure did.

Tell him, Jeffie.

Sammy Hagar.

No! The Red Rocker?

Hey, I love him. Hey...

That's it! Hey!

What was he like? Big tipper?

I guess.

Mm. Oh. You know what? You stay comfy.

I will rescue this beautiful creation.

Look at that.

Ta-da!

Gene's staying for dinner.

Dude, what the fuck?

I know it's awkward, right?

But you don't have to call me "Dad." Yet.

I don't know what this is about,

but all I have to do is pick up the phone

and it's bye-bye, Saul Goodman.

Yeah, but you haven't picked up the phone yet, have you?

Or tried to strong-arm me for cash.

And guess what? I know why.

Because reward money, blackmail,

that's not gonna tickle your pickle.

I know what you really want.

Oh, yeah? What's that?

You want in the game.

"The game"? W-What...

What game?

The game.

The one you've been watching your entire life.

You got your nose pressed up against the glass,

peerin' in while the big boys play.

Man, speak English.

What the hell are you talking about?

The game.

It's right there.

You can see it, but you can't touch it.

The cars, the clothes, the cash.

The ladies.

It's about knowing all the angles,

you know, putting it all on the line

and winning big.

But here you are, Jeffie.

Standing outside with the suckers.

Tryin' to pay off that cab, sweatin' the bills,

gettin' older.

It's so close,

but, damn it, you just can't get in.

Until now.

I can make it happen.

You?

Saul Goodman.

So, here's the deal.

I will show you the game. And then we're done.

...two days.

Caller thinks it's brother-in-law

with history of violence.

10-4.

(INDISTINCT TALKING ON POLICE SCANNER)

Noise complaint. 50 or so teens.

Parents possibly out of town.

Neighbors say this is not the first time.

10-20?

37882 Crestview.

Headed that way.

Missing juvenile. Caucasian male.

6'2", 240 pounds.

Last seen at gas station on Kerrywood and Western.

(INDISTINCT TALKING ON POLICE SCANNER)

Parents called?

Got ahold of Mom. ETA is 20 minutes.

10-23.

(ELECTRICITY BUZZING, SHUTS OFF)

G'night, ladies.

See ya, Gene. Bye.

Yeah.

There a problem?