Ramona

Dad?

Dad?

I'll be right up!

RAMONA MET BRUNO

Hi.

A coffee, please.

Thank you.

Sorry.

What did you add to your juice?

This?

Some concoction they sold me at the drugstore.

It's for anxiety, it's supposed to be all natural and relaxing, who knows?

CBD.

- CB What? - CBD.

They extract it from marijuana,

it doesn't give you a high, just relaxes, eases pain, and all sorts of miracles.

I don't think so. It doesn't say anything about marijuana here.

I'm not completely sure

it's legal in Spain, so they might have left it out.

Wanna try?

Supposedly all plants, nothing illegal.

Okay.

That's enough.

Thanks.

Do you have anxiety too?

Me? Over the top.

- Just like everyone else. - No.

Not everyone has anxiety.

In cities they do. Maybe in the country they don't.

If I take a look around, it's unbelievable.

People have mind-boggling jobs.

Jobs where they fire people non-stop. Those people exist.

I'm not judging, I understand we all have a role to play.

But some spend their days firing people.

Or evicting or whatever. And they're cool as a cucumber.

As a cucumber! If I get into an argument with my brother,

I lose it.

Yeah, but those people you're talking about keep it inside

and then get pancreatic cancer or whatever.

- You think so? - Sure.

Whining is so much better.

So much healthier.

Why do you have anxiety. I'm sorry,

but you don't look anxious at all.

- Because I live in Lavapies... - I used to live there.

- Years and years. - It's nice, but I hate it.

Why?

Because in my building there's been a narco house for quite a while.

And now they've also occupied the third floor.

So my hallway is full of junkies.

You live in an eighties movie.

On top of that, yesterday

a six-foot-five dude almost broke into the Airbnb

two Americans were staying at.

- A junkie? - No, a rapist.

Junkies usually aren't dangerous.

No, not junkies, but rapists yes.

Don't you carry a mace spray?

I hadn't thought about that.

There's a Cortázar short story where they occupy a house bit by bit

until the owner has to leave.

I don't even want to hear it.

- That's what it looks like! - 'Cause paranoia...

Right. But it's good film material.

No. Forget it.

Hey, do you notice anything?

What?

- The concoction. - No.

There's no concoction for my anxiety. I need hard drugs.

Then let's order a shot of something with our coffee.

Well, I have an excuse with the Americans and all that, right?

Can I get a couple of shots of brandy here, please?

In this same glass.

Anyway, this concoction thing

is a scam.

Almost anything they're selling as eco-healthy-natural is a scam.

Yeah, I just don't get it. I mean, these bars are almost extinct

Yeah, it's unbelievable.

Madrid's typical bars have disappeared.

Now they're all the same wherever you go in the world.

They're all franchises or eco-hipster-trendy shit.

Eco! Eco is the king of the prefixes!

- Eco-detergent. - Eco-fuck.

Eco-coffee, eco-friend.

Eco is fucking it!

And I'll admit it works. When I'm at the supermarket,

if in doubt, I always buy eco.

It could just as well say "expensive" instead of eco.

- So that's... - This is the greatest.

Are you kidding me?

Is that all real, everything, the face, the clothes?

You bet it is.

This is the latest thing. This is fashionable!

This guy has taken Spanish guile

to new heights, he's pulling everyone's leg.

I know. For me the worst thing is he's behaving all macho,

he wants to fuck them all, but he's suddenly so sensitive.

"I'm so sensitive, leave me alone."

Those people are the worst.

Fuck me, it's no fucking wonder. Let me see a few more.

And then my cousins, all of them super feminists, are all in love with him.

Okay, yeah, his songs are cool,

but the lyrics... It makes no sense.

I've had it with all this shit.

- Fuck me. - Okay, enough. You're not into phones.

"Life happens outside of a screen."

Do you know what I just realized?

You're truly antiestablishment.

Because my cousin... He's a rapper. He thinks he's so antiestablishment,

and he has iPhone, Instagram, the whole lot, but you don't.

Nobody can sell you anything!

And that's cool, right?

Well, it's a bit old-time, because you're out of the loop, but...

Whatever.

Wow, I thought it was cool.

I mean, it has its charm, but don't let it get over your head.

Another one, right?

The thing is... Sorry.

All that recycling stuff

is an invention from oil companies

so we don't think about the true problem.

What's the true problem here?

Their fucking business!

So they launch campaigns to convince citizens

that change is in their hands and they make us believe things...

For example, sorting out your trash, which has no environmental effect.

Absolutely no environmental effect. And meanwhile they're off scot-free.

With their oil rigs, their car industry, etcetera.

Shell did campaigns...

in the nineties!

Where the message was "Don't forget to turn off your lights"!

The nerve.

Bastards. I'm not recycling any more.

That's what I'm saying!

I have another.

- Let's hear it. - This one's heavy.

I saw this documentary where they said there's loads of sunken ships in the sea

since World War One. What do those boats carry?

Chemical weapons.

And even worse, nuclear weapons and toxic residues

that the... Russians threw into the sea.

And do you know how long it takes for that to... decompose?

- How long? - A hundred years!

Now, it's happening now!

- Holy shit! - Yeah.

- You know what'll happen then, right? - What?

When the nuclear weapons and everything else decomposes,

it's going to pollute the sea.

No more eating fish, no more swimming in the sea.

It's going to kill off the food chain!

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck.

There seems to be expeditions trying to get it out

and clean the seas, but there's no time.

We should go to a place I know...

- To buy fish! - And freeze it.

And freeze it.

I've been thinking the same.

Exactly, so our kids can eat fish.

This thing you're telling me is a drama!

It is. Forget about global warming. This here.

- Forget about it. - This is heavier.

This is super heavy! We should be buying hake right now!

I know.

- Are you serious? - Absolutely!

Hold on. You're drunk!

Next, please!

That change is amazing, right?

I mean, it's mind-blowing.

You bet. It's really tight.

Smell this, it smells great.

- Yeah. - Doesn't it?

I mix this with marijuana without THC,

so it doesn't give you a high, but it tastes great.

So its cig without tobacco which tastes of marijuana but doesn't give you a high.

Exactly.

I'm not sure what to say. It's the most depressing thing I've heard.

- I hate smoking. - Right.

I hate it and I love it.

I get you completely.

When I came back to Spain I thought

people would smoke a lot, but it's the opposite, nobody smokes anymore.

No. And they give you bad looks.

It's decadent. Smoking now is a nineties thing.

Yeah, it's frowned upon.

Yes.

Since I'm an idiot, the healthier others want to be, the more I want to smoke...

You have to smoke.

It's an act of resistance.

There's a shop here that sells loose cigarettes.

Her name is Carmen. She's eight and she plays the piano.

And I'll stop rambling on. But, yeah, I'm a nanny,

a translator, and the other thing...

If I get it, I'll tell you. If it doesn't, that's okay.

I'm sure you'll get it.

How can you not?

You don't even know what it is!

Have you seen yourself?

You exude light, strength... Of course you're getting it.

You'll get anything you set your mind to.

I'm not sure.