The Melancholy of Haruhi-chan Suzumiya (涼宮ハルヒちゃんの憂鬱)

Okay.

Asking somebody how long they've believed in Santa Claus

is so stupid, you can't even consider it

a topic suitable for idle conversation.

But if you still wanna know how long

I've believe in some old, fat guy who wears a funky red suit,

I can tell you this:

I've never believed in him... ever.

The Santa that showed up at my

kindergarten Christmas festival? I knew he was fake.

And I never saw Mommy kissing Santa or anything.

But I have to say that even as a little kid,

I knew better than to believe in some old man

that only worked one day a year.

Now, having said that, it wasn't until I got older

that I realized aliens, time travelers, ghosts, monsters,

ESPers, evil syndicates,

and the anime slash manga slash fantasy-flick heroes

that fight said evil syndicates... were also fake.

Okay, I guess I always knew those things were bogus,

I just didn't want to admit it.

All I ever wanted was for an alien, time traveler, ghost,

monster, ESPer, evil syndicate or the hero who fought 'em

to just appear and say, "Hey."

Unfortunately, reality is a hard road indeed.

Yep, you gotta admit, the laws of physics

definitely puts a damper on things.

I even stopped watching those TV shows

about aliens and ghosts and stuff.

Aliens, time travelers, ESPers, 'course they don't exist.

But a little part of me wishes that they did.

I guess I've grown up and realized

that I can think about those things

and still accept reality.

But by the time I got out of junior high,

I pretty much outgrew that kinda stuff.

And I guess I got used to the idea of

living in an ordinary world.

And just like that-- I was in high school.

And that's when I met her...

I'm Haruhi Suzumiya from East Junior High.

First off, I'm not interested in ordinary people.

But if any of you are aliens, time travelers, or ESPers,

please come see me. That is all.

Is that supposed to be funny?

There stood before me this amazing, beautiful girl.

Uh...

O-kay... Next?

I bet everyone thought she was kidding,

but it wasn't a joke.

And it wasn't anything to laugh about.

Haruhi is always dead serious.

And that's how we first met.

Looking back, I wanna believe that it was just a coincidence.

As long as Haruhi Suzumiya is sitting quietly,

she's just like any other extremely beautiful

high school girl.

And my seat just happens to be in front of her.

I mean, can you blame me for wanting

to exploit this seating arrangement so I could, um...

get to know her better?

Hey, that stuff you were saying when you were

introducing yourself, were you serious about all that?

What about the stuff I was saying?

Well, you know, about aliens and stuff.

Why? Are you an alien or something?

Well, no, but I just--

Well, no, but you just what?

Well, I-- Just forget it.

Then why are we even talking right now?

You're wasting my time. Ugh.

Hmm?

Later on,

I found out that quite a few of my new classmates

were from the same junior high as Haruhi.

Look, if you've got the hots for her,

take my advice:

Forget it.

After being in the same class as her for three years,

I know her pretty well.

Let's just say she's what you might call beyond eccentric.

Like her introduction?

Yep! In junior high, I can't remember a day

when she wasn't doing something completely wacky.

You ever hear the quad scribbles incident?

No, what's that?

You know that thing that draws lines on the athletic field?

Agh, what d'ya call that thing again?

Whatever. Well, she used that thing to draw

this big, mysterious symbol on the school quad.

She snuck into the school grounds at night to draw it.

Yeah, I remember reading about that.

I think it was in the local section of the daily newspaper.

It sorta looked like a botched version

of a Nazca drawing, didn't it?

So, you're telling me she did this all by herself?

No doubt. And she totally admitted doing it.

Oh yeah, and then one morning, I get to class early.

All the desks were shoved out into the hall!

Then there's the time she painted a star on the roof.

And this other time when she plastered these talismans...

What the hell's she doing...?

You know,

like the ones you use to reanimate corpses?

I have no idea why.

But all the same, man, she's pretty popular with the guys.

She's not too hard to look at, you know?

And she's freakin' good at sports.

And, on top of that, she gets good grades.

She's a super weirdo.

But if she's standing there quietly, you'd never know.

Somethin' tells me you have more to say about her.

For a while,

she was goin' out with one joker after another.

I think the longest any one guy lasted was about a week.

And the guy that had the shortest relationship with her?

He asked her out, she said okay,

and it ended five minutes later.

I don't have any time to deal with ordinary humans!

Then why the hell'd you say okay?

Hmm?

I mean, that's what I heard, really!

I don't know why, but she never turns a guy down

when he steps up to ask her out.

And so, before you get any bright ideas, buddy,

take my advice:

forget it.

Forget it? What's to forget

when I haven't even though about it?

If you were me, there's only one girl

in this class to go after. And that's her.

Ryoko Asakura. And I'm telling ya,

she's in the top 3 on the freshman hottie list.

So what, are you telling us that you've already checked out

all the freshman girls?

Heck yeah! I ranked 'em all from A to D

and I even went so far as to memorize the full names

of all the A-list girls, buddy.

Really? So what ranking did Asakura get?

She gets Double-A plus!

On top of being gorgeous, I bet her personality is wonderful.

Now, all this was happening

when Haruhi Suzumiya was still acting sorta normal.

For that whole month, even I was feeling pretty good.

However, it should be noted that bits and pieces

of Haruhi eccentricites were already starting

to make themselves known.

Haruhi Eccentricity number 1: A different hairstyle everyday.

Monday.

Tuesday.

Wednesday.

Thursday.

Friday.

As the days passed, the number of places

she'd tie off her hair increased.

On Monday, she resets her hair,

and then adds off a tie-off point each day until Friday.

Wonder what her hair looks like on Sunday.

Think I'd like to see that.

Haruhi Eccentricity number 2:

Our PE classe is seperated into boys and girls.

When changing into uniforms,

girls use the odd numbered classrooms

and boys used the even numbers.

It didn't matter that guys were standing around,

she'd just start changing out of her school uniform.

To Haruhi, guys were pretty much

the same as a bag of potatoes.

Eccentricity number 3: It was rather irritating

that Haruhi joined every team in

every extra-curricular club the school had to offer.

Every single one of the sports clubs lobbied

for her to join their respective teams,

and she'd turned every one of 'em down.

She'd change clubs on a daily basis depending on her mood.

In the end though, she didn't remain a member

of a single one of the clubs.

I mean, what the hell does she wanna do anyway?

And before I knew it, it was the day after

the Golden Week vacation.

Kyon! What's up?

Hey.

And by the way, Kyon? That's my nickname.

And I really wish people would stop calling me that already.

Oh. I guess today's Wednesday, isn't it?

And with that thought, something must've snapped inside me.

I can't think of any reason why...

So, do you cahnge your hairstyle everyday

to ward off alien invaders?

I was talking to Haruhi Suzumiya.

So when did you notice?

Mmm... A while ago.

Oh, I see.

Actually, I have this theory that each day of the week

has its own image with a specific color

that only goes with that day. And by colors, I'd say...

It felt almost like we were having a

real conversation for the first time.

...and Thursday's green. Friday is gold,

and Saturday is brown. And the color for Sunday is white.