Altitude

So, why don't you...

tell me about yourself?

I don't... I don't know.

I'm 43. I'm divorced...

I have a son.

You don't wanna hear about any of that.

No, I do. I do.

I'm sorry, it's just... it's my...

first time doing this sort of thing.

That's okay. We can take it slow.

You know, you got a... you got a nice voice.

It's... it's... it's sexy.

Oh, you think so, huh?

Yeah, yeah.

You're easy to talk to.

So...

It's probably why you're so good at your job.

Probably doesn't hurt.

Now you tell me something.

What do you want to know?

I don't know, like, um, what are you wearing?

- Kevlar. - Oh, sweet Jesus, that's hot.

Yeah.

Shooter's in position, keep him on the line.

Haas, this guy wants to be talked down.

Give me five more minutes.

Negative, soon as I got a shot, we're taking it.

Are you fucking crazy? You start firing in there, people are gonna get killed.

Five minutes.

Team one, what's your status?

Are you... are you there? Did... did I lose you?

Yeah, Dan, I'm... I'm still here, I didn't go anywhere.

Hey, listen, I was thinking that, maybe we could meet in person.

You mean, like a date?

Yeah, sure.

Who am I kidding?

I didn't... I didn't mean for this to happen.

I didn't mean to hurt anybody.

All I wanted... all I wanted was my goddamn tax refund!

Dan, please. Hang in there for me, all right?

Please.

I don't... I don't care what happens to me anymore.

My little boy... he deserves better than this.

Team one, fire when ready. Fire when ready.

Agent Blair! Agent Blair... Goddamn it!

Go.

Hey, Dan.

Why don't you tell me where we're gonna go on that date.

Wait, what?

Oh, yeah. I mean, I know... I know this Italian place.

Yeah, this little place called Fa... Falingreen's,

Falimese's, Faliense's?

Yeah? Good food?

Oh, yeah! Real... real good.

It's where I proposed to my bitch ex-wife.

Well, maybe we should go somewhere else then.

You know, it just occurred to me. I don't know what you look like.

I mean, how am I supposed to recognize you?

Trust me, I'm not gonna be easy...

to miss.

Whose side are you on, Blair, huh?

You want to take a bullet for one of your piece of shit lover boy, low lives?

Is that gonna satisfy whatever

fucked up female instinct that it is you're dealing with?

Fine, be my guest.

You'll be doing us both a favor.

But I'll be double dipped in shit if I'm gonna let you

get somebody killed just because you can't follow a fucking order.

I swear to you Agent Blair,

I swear on my life, I'm gonna bury you.

You're out of my unit, you're out of my city, you're out of my fucking time zone.

They're not even gonna find your body under all the paperwork I'm gonna bury it in.

Your phone sex days are over, you listening to me?

Good evening, welcome aboard. Good evening, welcome aboard.

Good evening, welcome aboard. Oh, I love your bag.

- Thank you. - Good evening, sir. Welcome aboard.

Good evening, welcome aboard.

Excuse me, thanks.

Excuse me.

- This you? - Pardon me.

Not meant to be, I guess.

Figures. You're not a crying baby.

I hope not.

Oh, my God, the snobs in first class are already wearing me out.

I'm Claire, by the way.

I don't think we've flown together before.

Is this your first overnight to D.C.?

No.

Well, I'm gonna keep you back here for the whole preflight song and dance with Rick,

and then I'm gonna need you to get on food and beverage service, right away.

Okay, thanks.

Excuse me.

I think that's my seat.

Oh, actually, it's the window seat.

Oh, well, I'm already buckled in.

Okay.

Oh, goodness.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a pain...

Forget it, it's not a big deal.

You're in my seat.

Look, lady, what's the difference?

If you don't want to sit here, you can just sit someplace else.

Listen, you fucker. I don't want to sit somewhere else.

My ticket says seat 44A, and you're in my seat.

So you can either move, or I'm gonna rip that stupid, fucking little cat shirt

off of your body and shove it up your...

Are we okay here?

This woman threatened me.

Sir, I'm... I am very sorry. Sorry.

Sorry, I have had a long couple of days,

and I don't mean to cause any problems, okay?

I just wanted to sit in my seat, which he's sitting in,

and just close my eyes and just sleep for five hours.

Sir, could I get you a complementary beverage

or some snacks, perhaps?

I'll take a complementary meal.

I'll be right back with that.

I'm gonna need for you to come with me, please.

And... and a seatbelt extender.

Oh, of course.

Sorry, again.

Hi, excuse me, I'm very sorry about that.

I normally...

The way I handled that... normally I handle people much better,

I didn't mean to snap at him.

I think you'll be more comfortable here.

Are you serious?

Well, I can't have you offing my passengers in cattle class.

I thought you were kicking me off the plane.

No. Here, I'll get this.

- Thank you. - Don't mention it.

Oh, and by the way, I've always wanted to do exactly what you just did back there.

- Thank you so much. - You're welcome.

Ah, folks, from the flight deck, this is your captain.

Got a few more minutes here before we push back from the gate.

So, if everybody'd just go ahead and get yourselves comfortable,

we'll have you in the air in no time.

We're looking at clear skies ahead.

Flight time should be about five and a half hours.

Welcome aboard.

- Is this your first time? - Excuse me?

- Flying business, I mean. - Do I look that out of place?

- On the contrary, I... - This stuff is just to take?

I think you're right where you belong.

This is really cool.

Terry, Terry Lenix.

Blair, Gretchen Blair

Can I get you a drink, Ms. Blair?

Sure.

- Excuse me, may I have... - No, sit down.

- Would you like a towel? - Thank you.

Sir?

Thank you.

Would you like a towel?

So, what are you getting away from?

- Nothing. - Nothing?

Nope.

Okay.

I... I don't mean to be rude,

I just... I'm just not the best person in the world right now

to have small talk with, okay? Sorry.

That's quite all right. I'd rather skip it anyway.

Okay, well, that's not quite what I meant by...

Okay.

I fucked up, and I have to fly to D.C.

and sit behind a desk for the rest of my life,

so I'm in no real hurry to get there.

- So don't go. - Yeah, good thinking.

Forget D.C., stay on the plane and come with me to Paris.

Oh, you weren't kidding about cutting the small talk, were you?

Why not?

Because it's insane.

- That's why. - Anymore insane than doing something

that you know won't make you happy?

Maybe up here in business class you can afford to make decisions like that,

but back there I kinda have to follow the rules.

People only really follow the rules

because they're too afraid to make decisions for themselves.

Well, I work in law enforcement, and they're kinda sticklers about rules.

Can I help you?

I was just wondering where you hide the gun.

All right, everybody, welcome to Speedbird Airlines,

great to have you aboard.

If I could just have your attention for a second, we have an important message.

Make some noise!

Hey! I wanna hear you in first class!

Fuck you!

Yeah, yeah!

Oh... my God.

Yeah!

Yeah! How you like that, daddy?

- Yeah! - What's the matter with you?

The airline that's your home in the sky

You're flying with Speedbird

We hope you enjoy the ride

Put your tray table up!

Welcome to Speedbird

The only thing you need to know

Hey, hey, hey, hey

You're flying with Speedbird...