Young & Hungry

I can't believe my boyfriend just went out and bought a yacht.

Ha! I can't believe I'm best friends with someone who's boyfriend

just went out and bought a yacht.

Welcome, everybody! Oh, I'm so glad you guys are here.

This is gonna be an amazing trip.

So, I just want you guys to, uh, relax, enjoy the open seas,

and all the luxuries on the S.S. Dock Com.

Get it? It's a... It's a play on words.

It's a play on "dot com", but it's a boat, so it's "dock com."

Ooh, what about Yacht Com?

It's... Uh... The boat's already painted, Yolanda!

I never told you this, Alan. But boats make me feel very sexual.

Let's look around for places where we can get naughty on the yachty.

And while we're looking, we can make note

of where they keep all the life jackets.

Uh-huh.

- Could this get any better? - I know, right?

I mean, you're on vacation with your boyfriend,

I'm on vacation with my boyfriend.

It's a work call, babe.

He's defending a huge drug lord, how hot is that?

Hey, uh, Nick. Don't forget, we gotta finish talking about those papers

- I was tellin' you about. - What papers?

Ha! That's a lawyer for you. Just keepin' it confidential.

Ladies, I'll tell you what, why don't you enjoy your drinks,

and Nick and I will finish talkin' about the legal stuff.

Here's a dollar. You're officially my lawyer.

Now you have to keep my secret.

Uh-oh, what'd you do?

Hi, there!

I'm Yolanda.

Is the captain allowed to join me for a glass of champagne?

I wish, but I have your life in my hands.

Oooh, I like a man who's good with his hands.

A wedding band.

Is what I play in on the weekends.

Gotta go rehearse! Bye!

Okay. I'm gonna say it.

Nick... inside this box...

is an engagement ring.

Josh, we barely know each other.

See, that would be funny if I wasn't freaking out,

but I am freaking out, because... I'm proposing to Gabi tonight.

Congratulations, man! I'm... I'm happy for you.

- Thanks! - She's a great girl.

She is a great girl. Do you think she'll say yes?

I think she'll say yes. Do you think she'll say yes?

I would.

Thanks, man. Now, the reason I made you my lawyer is 'cause I need you

to hide this ring. I trust no one on this boat!

Got it.

I need you to put it somewhere Gabi won't find it.

I'll pick it up from you before dinner, and I'll pop the question

beneath a sky full of beautiful fireworks.

Josh, as your friend, I'm so happy for you.

As your lawyer, have you considered a prenup?

It's a big boat.

Two Mai Tais?

And Mai Tai say, it's nice to have some other boys

in the boat like me.

Do you have a Mai Tai for me, too?

No.

I like him. And he winked at me.

I beg to differ. He winked at me.

Wait a second. You don't think he might want...

Both of us?

You mean for like, a...

Yes. Exactly for like a...

It's too bad we'd never do anything like that.

Or would we?

Of course we wouldn't.

That's not the kind of people we are.

Or are we?

Hey! There's my girl!

Hey! Where've you been hiding?

I haven't been hiding anything!

It's just so beautiful out here,

I really wanna enjoy Yacht Com with you.

You know, when you say anything,

it's really cute, but it's... it's Dock Com!

Dock!

Gabi, it's not just the champagne.

All the drinks are free!

Ooh.

Okay, are you ready for the next surprise?

There's more surprises?

All right. Close your eyes.

Just Gabi, Sofia.

Okay. Open 'em.

Hi, Gabi!

Oh my god!

You're Iron Chef Alex Guarnaschelli,

who beat Judy Joo with the secret ingredient,

mortadella, and you're the executive chef

at Butter restaurant in New York!

Alex Guarnaschelli, I love you, Alex Guarnaschelli!

You can call me Alex.

Alex Guarnaschelli!

Oh! Ooh!

Uh-oh. You made Iron Chef Alex Guarnaschelli bleed.

Hey, Santiago.

You're not going to jail.

They can't connect you to the missing drug shipments.

Trust me. I'll take care of it.

I'm so sorry I took your chopping hand out of commission.

Well, luckily, my wine glass holding hand is just fine.

All right, so give me the rundown. Where are we?

Okay, the soupe de poisson is simmering,

the buckwheat galette batter is resting,

and the salmon is poaching.

And I hope you don't mind, when you went to get some more wine,

I made a basil garlic rouille to give the soup some kick.

No no, my soupe de poisson is a gentle dish.

An overgarlic-y rouille could decimate it.

You know what? This is delicious.

Balanced, great flavor.

Inspired.

Thank you, Chef.

Gabi, to me there are two kinds of chefs:

There are the kind of chefs that follow orders

and view cooking as a science.

And then there are the ones who are intuitive and cook like it's an art.

I've been working with you all day,

and you're definitely the second one.

And, uh, which one do you like?

The second one, they're much harder to find.

Oh. Well, ya found me.

And I'm not gonna lose you. I wanna mentor you,

and I want you to be the sous-chef

in my new restaurant in Pioneer Square.

Oh my god, are you serious? Wait... Uh, you're not just

saying that because you paired the Pinot with the pain meds?

I wanna mentor you, and I wanna work with you.

Oh my god, I... I'm so excited,

I can't even remember where in San Francisco Pioneer Square is.

It's in Seattle. Is that a problem?

Seattle! Which is in Washington,

which is a different state than the one that San Francisco is in.

No, that's not a problem at all.

- Gabi! - Sofia!

- Gabi! - Sofia!

Did you get my text?

I have a huge problem.

Mine's huge-r.

All right, let's go alphabetically.

What? You... You always say that.

Well, "G" comes before "S". I didn't write the alphabet.

Well, I didn't ask for a boyfriend who's a drug smuggler.

What?

I was walking by the porthole of our room, and I saw Nick,

hiding a package in the air vent, and it's gotta be drugs, Gabi,

because it was wrapped in brown paper, and

nothing good is ever wrapped in brown paper.

Except fresh fish, which is what I

would be unwrapping, if I took the job

that Alex Guarnaschelli just offered

me in her new restaurant in Seattle!

- What? - I mean, what am I gonna do?

I have an unbelievable boyfriend,

but this is an unbelievable opportunity.

Well, I can't be a criminal's girlfriend, I mean... You know,

every little girl dreams about it, but...

Do you know what percentage of couples survive

in a long-distance relationship?

No.

Yeah, I was really hopin' you did, but I'm guessin'

it's pretty low.

Why don't you look it up while we break into the air vent?

Okay. Wait a minute. Hey, why are we fixing your problem first?

It's alphabetical. "Breaking into" comes before "moving out of."

Dammit!

That sunset is breathtaking.

As Joseph Conrad said, "There is nothing more mysterious

than the sea itself. She is the mistress of my existence."

Well, doesn't your wife get upset

that you have a mistress?

You mean my late wife.

Yolanda, this is Marilou.

Gone five years today.

I... I'm so sorry.

I'm scattering her ashes on this voyage, along with this.

Time to close that chapter.

Hm, hell yeah, it is.

I mean, how sad it is.

It is, but, uh, I have to say it's a

little less sad with you here, Yolanda.

Now if you excuse me, I have to check the PH balance on the Jacuzzi.

A captain's work is never done.

Hey, Marilou.

You cool with me sharin' the motion of the ocean with your man?

I'm cool!

Oh!

Oh my damn! Oh my damn! Oh, Marilou.

Oh... Oh, I need some ashes.

I know. Time to replace Marilou with Mary Jane.

Maybe that's why they call it the high seas.

Alan! I spoke to Amador, and we were right.

He wants us both and it is on.

Oh god. Now I'm nervous.

Have you had a three-way before?