STEVE! (martin) a documentary in 2 pieces

So, listen, how much was it to get in?

- Five. - Five bucks?

Okay, you paid the money, you're expecting to see a professional show,

so let's not waste any more time.

Let's go with professional show business. Let's go. Hey!

You know what I--

Is this on? Is this mic on?

Are we okay out there? Okay, I'm sorry.

Love me.

And it's all totally spontaneous and completely unrehearsed.

It's unrehearsed.

It's unrehearsed.

So...

What's the matter with you people, don't you have a sense of humor?

Hey.

Cut.

I've got something else. We can do another one.

This guy was getting people so happy.

He's up there as most idolized comedian ever.

I always thought of him as the door out of the '60s.

Well, here's something you don't often see.

You know, you could be silly again.

You know, I have figured out one thing

that would totally put an end to show business,

and that is if the human race, instead of having two arms,

just had one arm right in the center of our body.

Now the reason that would put an end to show business, how would people clap?

It'd be...

He reinvented stand-up.

That doesn't happen often.

But he never thought success was a permanent state.

I always thought, "This just does not happen."

And it did.

And one more thing, if you bought my album

and you came here expecting me to do a lot of routines

from the record, and I didn't do them,

well, excuse me!

Good night!

I think if I had any guidance...

...nothing would have happened for me.

I really just wanted to be on stage.

When I saw a stage, my eyes went wide,

and I just imagined myself up there.

But I guarantee you I have no talent.

None.

So, I had to do a workaround in order to get on stage.

I was probably ten or eleven

when I realized you can go to a magic store and buy a trick

and then you read, "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,"

and you're in show business.

Don't be alarmed, there's nothing wrong with the set, so help me.

I was trying to be a straight magician.

But it didn't take me long to figure out...

When I say they're coming up, they're coming up.

"They love it when the tricks don't work."

My life really didn't begin until I was ten.

A friend of mine said, "Hey, they're hiring kids at Disneyland."

I said, "What?!"

That's right, anything's possible in Disneyland.

You can imagine when you're ten years old and really haven't seen anything,

and there was Mickey Mouse in flowers

and there's a train pulling in the station, and...

...and characters and rides and rocket ships.

And they immediately gave me a job to sell the Disneyland News.

Which no one wanted to buy.

But the main thing was, I was done by 9:00 a.m.,

and I could spend the rest of the day in the park for free.

I would hang out at the Golden Horseshoe Revue.

And there was a comedian there. His name was Wally Boag.

And he was the first comedian I ever saw live.

Here we have the gambler's friend.

This always makes the sale and you make your fortune with these.

They never fail. Looky here, Niagara Falls.

From the Canadian side.

Niagara Falls frozen.

I saw his show hundreds of times.

What else you got?

The average and normal person will blow a balloon something like that.

That's the average and normal type.

And then we have the straight forward type, they...

Say, now, you've heard of pink elephants? Here's an elephant in color right here.

Looking a little something like that. Elephant, right there.

It's nothing, I can tell by the applause. Now, let's...

You know, my fantasy was, I'm sitting there in the audience,

that he would get sick.

Somebody would say, "Does anybody know this show?"

I would be ready to go.

What's your name?

You got a name?

I think the fact that it was Disneyland, it wasn't like a job job.

I think sometimes he might have made a nickel, but he didn't care.

He was loving what he did.

It was a nice escape for him

because Steve kind of got the frustrating end from our dad.

He would just blow his stack at him.

I don't remember hugs.

I don't remember affection.

I remember thinking when I was a kid, I said,

"God, I had this happy, happiest childhood, happiest. It was so happy.

And then later I realized that, "Oh, yeah, happy outside the house."

To the happiest place on Earth, Disneyland.

And then I got a job at the magic shop.

And that changed my life.

To perform tricks all day?

That's just a dream come true.

Eventually, you become good.

We had all kinds of gags.

Bunny ears and arrows through the head.

We did the tricks, but we had all these jokes.

I had a friend, Jim Barlow. He had patter worked out.

He would go up to customers and say, "May I take your money? I mean, help you?"

I just took all of Jim's patter.

Somebody would buy something and I would say,

"And because you are our 100th customer today, you get a free paper bag."

Little silly things like that. But it's Disneyland and I'm 15.

Martin the Magic Marvel! Let's bring him on.

I would do shows for my parents' bridge parties or for Cub Scouts.

It was nothing. I could tell by the applause.

Jim Barlow and I had developed hundreds of gags.

Could I have a little magic music, please?

It's mostly stolen and borrowed.

I just want to remind you, if you want to laugh, go ahead.

If you want to leave, the doors are locked.

I thought I'd be using them my whole life.

I said magic, not tragic.

Here we go! One!

Two!

And three!

I often hear, "Well, just be yourself."

But who knows what their self is?

I don't.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, Cub Scouts,

I am your magical host for the evening.

I am Steve Martin, your magical host for the evening.

Take business cards. Give several to head guy.

No children's shows under eight years of age.

Terrific show, went over terrific. Laughs all the way through.

Had an accident with the square circle, but it was covered and nobody knew."

You can define a personality for yourself and become that on stage.

You can be what you choose to be.

- Can you play something for us? - Sure, sure. Yeah.

No, you don't play it like that, Tex.

Oh, well. Like this?

- No. - No.

I remember realizing,

"I think there's a little bit of a dead end for me in magic.

In comedy, it seems more wide open."

You come on television--

You come on television, and you know, so many performers, they get nervous.

I don't get nervous.

I don't want anyone to think that this is something I hold in my heart.

Anyone ever thought I was nervous, I'd die.

I loved Jerry Lewis.

I loved Laurel and Hardy.

And Nichols and May, they were like music.

And you remember that Mommy loves you.

I love you too, Mommy.

- Goodbye, baby. - Goodbye, Mommy.

There was Lenny Bruce,

Bob Newhart, Charlie Chaplin, I Love Lucy,

Jack Benny, Danny Kaye, Bob Hope, Red Skelton,

Peter Sellers, Steve Allen, Jackie Gleason.

But I had absolutely nothing in common with what they did.

Do you believe I can play this song backwards?

No. Can you?

- Wanna see me do it? - Yeah.

Watch this.

I'm in Orange County, which might have been 10,000 miles from Hollywood.

And I didn't have any bits.

I felt uncomfortable without props.

I'd be standing there telling a story?

So, how do I transform myself into a comedian?

When I was 18, I worked at this very cute little theater

at Knott's Berry Farm called the Birdcage Theater.

And I met a girl who worked there

and we fell in love in that sort of 18-year-old way.

Her name then was Stormie Sherk, and she became a Christian proselytizer,

and she's a huge best selling author.

But anyway, then she wasn't.

She had a spirit that was not yet holy.

And she was very enthusiastic about knowledge and learning.

He was so open to things.

I wanted to give him the books that had really affected my life.

She had convinced me to read The Razor's Edge.

And The Razor's Edge is about man questing truth.

There can be no real happiness until men learn

that it comes from within themselves.

I couldn't recite it back to you.

All I know is, "Oh, I'm supposed to be interested in the meaning of life."

So, I kept encouraging him. I said, "Steve, you're so brilliant.

You've got to go to college. That's how you're gonna find who you are.

That's how you're gonna learn so much about yourself and the world."

So I made a major change in my life.

I applied to Long Beach State and started studying philosophy.

In philosophy, everything is being broken down.

Everything is being rethought.

Everything. And I like that.

The feeling that you would solve something grand.

So, I started questioning the only thing I had, which was comedy.

Instead of, "Does God exist?"