The Line

- Come on, get that ass out, get that ass out.

Come on, get that ass. Get that ass out.

Oh shit, watch the turn.

- Morning. - Morning, you're up early.

- Mom, I'm leaving today. I told you that already.

Why are you looking at me that way?

I told you weeks ago.

- Take a compliment. Maybe I just love your company.

I love you.

I hate living here.

I hate it.

- My goodness. My son is becoming such a snob.

- I work at fucking Pie On the Sky.

Hold your tongue.

- Honey, you act like you're the first person in history

to work at a restaurant.

It's not that bad.

- I'm not the first person in history.

I am the first person in my fraternity.

- You know, you're starting to sound brainwashed.

- What, why does that sound brainwashed?

- Let's start off with the faux Forrest Gump accent.

Where'd that come from?

The KNA, the KNA, the KNA.

- I really don't get why you care.

It's not like you pay my dues.

Excuse me?

I pay 30K in tuition.

Oh, what, did you want me to drop another six on your frat?

I'm spending money, and I'm not hearing anything

about history or literature or politics.

- 20 presidents were in fraternities.

- Now, how many of them had your GPA?

All right.

- I know you're having fun, and I want you to have fun-

That's shit.

- But I'm not paying for you to party.

Please.

- I want you to get something out of this.

- I am getting something out of this.

Relationships.

Relationships are everything.

Let's go, baby!

Oh, fuck, get off my car, motherfuckers!

KNA, KNA, KNA, KNA, KNA!

You better get your ass here.

- I lost my shoe, I lost my shoe.

- Dude, you lost your shoe, baby.

- Come on, dawg. - Suck it.

Let's go.

- Tom, where the fuck you've been, bro?

- You look like you've been getting some sun, man.

- He's been training with ISIS all summer.

Fucking shut up.

- You look like a fucking Jihadi.

- I fucked a hooker named Isis once after the master.

- You look like you've been working out.

- Yeah, thanks man, I been jerking it in the handicapped

stall at my internship all summer.

Shit, I want that job.

- My momma went Martha Stewart in our room man.

She is bored as hell. I'll tell you what.

She did?

- We have brand new TV, fucking computer.

You ever met my buddy Gargalon?

No.

- You don't know who Gargalon is?

No.

- Gargalon these nuts, motherfucker.

- Mitch, this is fucking amazing, bro.

Fucking home. - That's right.

The theme is John.

We got a Wayne, McCain, Hancock.

- John McCain looks like he captured his dick

with his left hand.

- Yeah, he's probably jerking it just right there, shit.

You see this one right here?

Masters 98.

Yeah, man.

- You're so bullshit. - Try it.

Eat that ass. Eat it boy.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...

What, what, what, what, what?

Wait, wait, wait.

You feel that? - What?

- My gaydar is fucking going off the charts right now.

What, me?

- You taking fat fucking dick over here, aren't ya?

- So happy to be back with you, fucker!

- Who's your daddy? Me.

This picture of your mom?

- I wish she was that hot.

Oh, my God.

- I'd be spanking it to her every night.

- You fucking twisted ass motherfucker,

spanking your own mom. - Fuck her, man.

God damn, I'm trying to.

- You can get it, she probably needs some dick.

- Are we going? Are we going to dinner?

- Yeah, man, we're going to dinner with both of 'em,

mom and dad.

Your dad's gonna be there too?

- Yeah, daddy's going to be there.

- So in the end, what did you do last summer?

Um, um...

What did I do?

I, uh, I worked for this realtor in Miami.

Oh.

- I thought you said you worked for a sports agency?

- Commercial or residential?

Residential.

No, I was, I was working for a friend of my mothers.

- Hmm. - Who is that?

His name is Stan Wade.

- Sam Wade? - Stan.

- Stan Wade. - I mean, he's like local.

I don't know him.

- I don't know, he's not like a name, like-

- Always align yourself with the best.

Only the best.

That is the recipe.

You know, maybe next summer we could get you both

internships at corporate.

Well, that would be amazing.

Well, let's do it.

sugar butter.

Sugar butter. You know, the butter with sugar in it.

This shit, it's fire.

- You know, maybe Mitchell prefer

the bakery division or creamery.

- Um, Mr. Miller, it was so cool the internship

you got for Mitch at Holloway.

That's, wow, that company, I've read about it, so awesome.

- It's funny for me to hear the word awesome

in association with Ken.

I mean, yeah, now he's the CEO of a Fortune 500 company.

But I met Ken at KNA.

Oh, you met him at,

you met him at KNA, our KNA?

Kenny was a total mess.

I mean, he couldn't land a broad to save his life.

The only thing he did at university,

which actually was awesome,

was shitting his pants in the house in front of everybody.

- Are you kidding me? - Beach!

- Wearing gym shorts. - Beach, stop it.

- Yes, dear? - I'll leave.

- Uh-oh. - I'll leave.

- She's been threatening to leave since the day we met.

I have.

- Dad, you never told me that Kenny shit his pants.

We're at the table.

- Well, Mitchell, there's a reason for that,

you see, and that is because you were such a knucklehead,

you would have, of course, repeated it in front of him.

And that is why we say in the family:

"Have you ever seen a fish on the wall with its mouth shut?"

Not the fish story.

- Do you know that expression, Tom?

- You've never seen a fish on the wall with its mouth shut.

Baby burns. Let's go.

She burns, she burns.

Hey, boys.

Run fucking town around here. You're out.

- Oh, shit. Sunshine. - Mr. President.

How you doing, buddy?

- How you doing, buddy? So good to see you.

- Will you, uh, will you come with me

to meet the new Dean of Student Life next week?

- Fuck, yeah, I'll do that. Of course.

- I'll take you out to lunch after. I'll make it worthwhile.

- All right, if you buy me lunch, I'll do whatever you want.

Now, you got my mind racing.

Okay, good, you should.

I don't get a "Hello"?

- Seen you five fucking times, since you've got here, Mitch.

This is uh, Gettys O'Brien.

- Hey. - Hey, man how you doing?

- Tom. - Getty.

- Gettys and I uh, grew up in Buckhead.

- Oh, a Buckhead, fuckhead. What do you know, Joe?

- We didn't know each other at uh, Holy Spirit,

but he's friends with the Wallis boys.

Right, Fred Wallis' twins.

I, I knew you though.

- Gettys you wanna come on up, have a drink?

- Yeah, sure. - Great. Let's do this.

- All right, that's what I'm talking about.

Some Southern hospitality.

Great to see you, dude.

- Yeah, great to see you, Sunshine.

- See you soon. - Oh shit.

Will you guys take that little squirt over there with you?

That's uh, Bill Nichols over there.

His dad's the mayor of San Antonio.

All right. Say less.

Hey, Bill!

Come on over. We'll have a drink.

Get up there, Bill.

C'mon, don't pass out on your first night of rush.