A Life Less Ordinary

So, here's the deal. We are in the garden, right?

Everything is great, and there's this tree.

And the man says, "Don't eat the fruit of that tree. Don't eat that apple. "

So, he goes inside, names some animals. Maybe takes a dump.

Anyway, what does she do? What does she do?

She eats the apple!

I can't believe it ./ He says don't eat it, she eats it!

Unbelievable / Since then, men, women, it's all gone wrong.

Perfect Love.

Happy? Sure I'm happy.

Yeah, we're all so happy.

Divorce.

Miserable marriage.

Wedding canceled.

Remarried.

Divorced again.

Ah! Irreconcilable sexual disharmony!

Dysfunctional marriage!

Divorce!

Divorce... divorce, divorce, divorce,

divorce!

Well? Talk to me!

We had a bad run.

Things have changed down there. Men and women aren't the same.

Well, things are changing up here as well.

I'm getting pressure from above,

for results.

For men and women to be bonded in eternal bliss.

I'm instructed to introduce new incentive schemes for our... leading operatives.

Leading operatives, huh?

That's you.

Skip the flattery, Gabriel.

Where's the beef?

It's a hard case to crack.

But I have full confidence you can do it.

If you don't... you don't come back.

What?

No way!

That's the new incentive scheme.

Your mission is to unite man and woman, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Okay?

When you're done... you come back.

If you fail

you stay down there forever.

You are not serious!

Liberatum... man's. Es outta my hands.

She's the secret daughter of Marilyn Monroe and John F Kennedy.

That's why Marilyn was murdered.

The young girl grows up in an orphanage, unaware of her incredible parentage.

Years go by. She's beautiful.

She's smart. She's successful, okay?

Then what?

Well, then...

Then she gets sent to London as US Ambassador.

Where she discovers who she is and also the Nazi gold hidden under the embassy.

Uh, yeah. Yeah.

It's kinda obvious, Robert.

Of course it is, guys. It's a trash novel! You buy it in the airport, take it on holiday.

Ms Gesteten. Nice to see you down here.

I'd love to stay and talk, but...

Nice trick, Celine.

Wanna try your luck?

With the gun?

With the fruit.

I don't have time for games.

If you're afraid, just say so.

Celine... last night we discussed a certain proposal.

And I said no. Because you cheat, Elliot.

Okay. So, I'm flirtatious.

It's in my nature. But I want you to think again.

Do you know how hard it is for a woman to find a good husband in this town?

Let alone a good dentist.

Celine...

I'm serious.

Robots?!

You're trying to tell us we'll be replaced by robots?

Robots are gonna clean the dust out of every office in this building?

I think not, Ms Gesteten!

At least the robot won't spend its time writing a trash novel.

Not even a very good trash novel, as I understand it.

Oh, this is personal.

It's nothing to do with me, Robert.

This comes right from the top. From Mr Naville.

- Perhaps I should speak to this Mr Naville. - It's too late.

You're fired!

Are you ready?

Mm-hm.

Now, if you move... the offer's canceled.

Okay. Mm-hm.

Wait. Celine...

- Don't speak. - Is this wise?

Puts me off.

Stop 1

Would you call a doctor?

It would be a pleasure, madam.

Why are you here at this time of day?

- Hi, Lily. - Well? Answer me.

Lily, I got fired.

They replaced me with a robot!

I know how they feel.

Mm?

Look... I've been meaning to tell you this for a while now and

it seems like as good a time as any.

Robert,

I'm leaving you.

You're leaving...? What are you talking about?

His name is Ryan. He teaches aerobics.

We're in love. We're movin' to Miami.

- How can you do this? At a time like this? - I want a man, not a dreamer.

I don't know what to say. Let's talk about this. I'll get another job.

Sorry.

But as of tonight, you're goin' home alone.

Lily!

I'm leaving you.

You're fired!

It's kinda obvious, Robert.

He teaches aerobics. We're in love.

We're movin' to Miami.

Lily?

Lily?

Mr Robert Lewis?

Yeah, that's me.

My name is Jackson.

This is my associate, Ms O'Reilly.

We're from the Firm But Fair Eviction and Collection Agency.

I have some items to collect under federal and state law in lieu of unpaid debts.

We are also contracted to serve you a notice of eviction from these premises.

I beg your pardon?

We can do this with violence or without. It's up to you.

The client pays our medical bills but not yours... Well?

Oh, without, please.

Good choice.

I cannot believe this!

Do you have any idea

how difficult it is to find a good husband in this town?

Or a good dentist, come to that.

Playing this sort of game,

you have disgraced yourself once again.

Well, you caught his frontal lobe, so apparently he'll live.

But he'll never practice orthodontics again.

My main fear in all this is that you'll end up like your mother,

who long ago found her natural level in society, scuttling along the bottom.

Her biggest problem was marrying a man like you.

A mistake I've taken great care to avoid.

You

are gonna go to work, my girl.

What?

You've spent a quarter of a century watching the tide go in and out

but from tomorrow you are gonna work.

Here, under my supervision. You'll learn the essence of business.

About money, and how it flows relentlessly back towards he who owns it.

How to generate a profit from loss, a loss from profit. You will work!

This may not be very palatable, it may make you want to vomit.

But be assured, you will get used to the taste.

And pretty soon, you'll be spooning it down and asking for more like all the other kids.

- Eleven... - Mr Naville, I presume.

You think you can replace me with a robot?

Eleven...

- Eleven... - Well, get this!

Eleven.

Twelve.

Thirteen.

Fuck!

Nobody fucking move!

Everyone on the floor!

Everyone!

Everyone!

Four.

Five.

Six.

Seven.

Now I want my job back!

I want what I had before, Mr Naville! I'll count to five.

If you don't oblige me, I'll kill you.

One!

Two, 1

Three!

Four!

Five!

- Why did you say that? - Five comes directly after four.

I know that!

I thought you had a problem. Nothing to be ashamed of.

- Without a proper education... - Shut up!

- I was just trying to help. - I don't need any help!

- You'll die for this, I swear to God! - I'm sorry!

- No! - Shoot him again. In the head.

- I'll count to five. - Shut up!

Who are you, anyway?

Nobody 1

I'm his daughter.

He's got a gun.

Hey, cool it.

Take it easy. Chill out.

Drive.

- Will you just drive? - I can't.

- What? - I don't know how.

You don't know how to drive??

- I never learned. - Why not?

- I didn't need to. - Well, you do now!

This is faster, that slower. Forwards, backwards. The rest you'll pick up.