About Alex

Ben, your page is set?

Yep, almost.

Jesus, Alex.

Hello?

Yes, this is him, but I'm at work, so...

I used to have a freshman roommate named Ben,

but that asswad hasn't called me in ages.

What?

And no one was there? He was alone?

Yeah, of course, he was alone. That was stupid.

Yeah. I can probably get up in a couple of hours.

I just need a little bit of time to get out of here.

So, he's going to be okay. That's the most important thing.

Okay.

I gotta take this. Hang on a sec.

Babe?

Yeah, I'm fine, just got to the office. I'm going to leave from here.

Did the hospital say when they'd be able to release him?

They said it might be tonight,

might be in the morning.

Do we call them? 'Cause I feel...

No, I called them already.

There's nothing else we can do, babe.

Just keep straight.

Babe? Yeah?

I got the fellowship.

Wow.

Wow. (CLEARING THROAT) Yeah, I know.

When were you going to tell me?

What do you mean? I'm telling you now.

Yeah, but how long have you known?

I found out yesterday.

Yeah, I mean, that's great for you, right?

It's a great opportunity.

Yeah. Yeah.

It is, but I meant about us moving out there.

I think we've had this conversation, like, 50 times.

I can't just quit my job and move to LA.

Sarah's train should be getting in.

Okay, I'm gonna stay here.

Josh, hey.

Hey, Sarah. Uh, hi.

Hi.

It's good to see you.

Oh, yeah, it's good to see you, too.

Have you talked to Alex?

No, but I can't wait to ask that fucker what the hell he was thinking.

You're not actually going to say that... Why not?

To him, are you? Why?

Because he's fragile and that's not appropriate.

How do you know? When was the last time you talked to him?

That's what I thought. What do you want to do, Sarah?

You want to just tiptoe around the whole thing?

Pretend like nothing happened.

No, no, I think we should...

I think we should make him feel safe...

Okay. ...and loved.

Yeah, and I think he's going to think that that's bullshit.

And I think he's going to see right through it.

Sarah! What?

Josh! Hey!

Hi!

And you. Hi.

We didn't even know whether to expect you or not.

No.

Where's Isaac? Is he up here yet with the new lady friend?

Is that happening? With the who?

Isaac's bringing someone? Yeah.

His girlfriend. I didn't know

he was seeing anyone. It's recent.

It's recent. She's 22.

No, she's not. Mmm-hmm.

Is she?

What's wrong? It's not like she's 11, calm down.

Okay, first of all, you're disgusting.

And, second of all, um, why does Isaac think it's appropriate to bring

a date to... How is it inappropriate?

I was this close to bringing a date.

And she cancelled at the last minute. She had a thing.

It's okay that I'm coming, right?

Yeah, of course, it's okay. You wanted to come.

This is fine. Of course, it's fine.

Wait, what?

No, I didn't say I wanted to come.

I said that I wanted to be there for you if you wanted me to be there.

Why would I tell you to come if I didn't want you to come?

I am so sorry, but we're all out of premium class vehicles.

Could we interest you in one of our more affordable models?

Yeah, yeah, it's fine. Anything with wheels is fine. Thanks.

I shouldn't be here.

Babe?

- (SIGHING) - (DOOR CLOSING)

I wouldn't have said you should come if...

I'm just saying...

Japanese are the most wacked-out people on Earth.

Oh, my God, you're like an 8-year-old racist.

I'm not an 8-year-old racist.

Who can cram that many people on an island?

It's like a throbbing inbred hothouse of cultural miasma.

Frankly, I'm surprised they don't have more fetishes.

Oh, shit, Ben-Ben.

You came.

Against my better fucking judgement, I came.

Get the fuck over here. How are you doing?

Ben, get my back here, please?

We're not just going to pretend with Alex,

like, nothing happened here, right?

What are you going to say?

"Hey, Alex, interesting choice to commit suicide."

Thank you, Ben. Excuse me.

Oh, my God.

Hi.

I can't believe that you have her side on this.

Hey, hey, hey, there are no sides.

Let's just let this be about Alex, right?

Speaking of which, I think we should watch him.

What?

What, do you want to set up, like, a monitoring system?

Yeah, kind of, but it would be casual.

You know, tag in, tag out.

Have somebody with him at all times.

How about you go first?

You want to start? This is ridiculous.

No, it's not, Josh.

This is ridiculous... I googled it.

You what?

I googled it.

Case in point.

I'm going to get some air.

Is there not air in here?

I researched it, okay?

There's a set protocol that you're supposed to follow.

(STAMMERING) You're...

You came!

Of course, I came.

How you feeling?

I'm good.

Yeah? Yeah.

I mean, you know, considering.

Um, Alex, look, about the calls...

Don't, no, no.

Don't tell me that we're having a party in honour of my suicide?

Attempted suicide.

Geez, if it was suicide, we'd both be wearing suits.

You can't treat it lightly...

Maybe, we should get him a muffin basket.

I'm serious, the first 48 hours...

We can tie a bow on it...

Alex. Hi.

Hey. Hey.

Jesus, Alex.

If you wanted to see all of us,

you could have just shot us an email.

Wow.

We were gonna pick you up.

Oh, no, don't worry about it. This was easy.

Wow.

Do you need anything? You want to sit down? Um... I'm good.

Are you hungry? No.

Want me to make you a sandwich? Um...

No. Actually, I think I'm gonna go get changed.

I feel a little gross, if you know what I mean.

Uh... I'll keep you company. Excuse me.

Way to act normal, by the way.

Way to be an asshole!

It was real nice, just "sandwich."

You want to offer him anything else?

So, why did you leave LA? Um...

I don't know, I, uh...

Just the acting thing was only going okay,

and that city is a fucking soul killer.

Yeah, I was running out of cash, my mom was in fucking Bali,

my dad left me this, and you were...

We kind of lost touch.

What I was going to say outside, when you first came...

Hey, the world's got enough people

you have to explain yourself to.

Josh is still an asshole.

If he's gonna be like this all weekend, I swear to God...

He's just dealing with it, you know, in his own way.

And shouldn't Isaac know there's no such thing

as a plus one to a friend's attempted suicide weekend thing?

It's not a fucking Bar Mitzvah. You don't...

Now, you sound like Josh.

Oh, my God, you're right.

Ugh.

How are you? How are you and Ben?

We're fine.